Monday, November 12, 2018


Well what I say other than it’s been a stressful couple of weeks with dear daughter and Garry.
Have decided Garry is narcissistic...he bullied and manipulated Kylee....and she went back. Then she found out he had been playing her AGAIN, a friend found his profile on a new dating site.
Since then his narcissistic bullying personality has been in top gear. Things have been very intense between Kylee and him, but he manipulates her so much that she goes crawling back. Like the other day he said he hurt his back and he told her he couldn’t she drove him. 
Shit hit the fan here over we are trying to help her out as she was done with him and all he need to do is crook his little finger and she goes running.  

We weren't happy...and told her so. So she has told him to back off....
Today he has texted me asking what he has to do to earn our trust....told him I don't think he ever will, time will tell. 
He then asked would Kylee still have our support if they decide to work it out. 
My reply was I hope we would be around to pick up the pieces because we don't think she deserves you, you will hurt her again. He reckons he won't....but again time will tell. Hope Kylee stands back long enough for him to show his true colours again. A narcissist like him don't change...and he is a cheating one!! 

So stress levels high...somedays I eat everything and anything in sight, other days not. My job has been a outside one for the last 3 weeks, an early morning 3 hour shift so I been getting quite a workout...think that has helped me keeping my weight stable..even though its bordering on its highest it has been in years!! 
Where has my willpower go...been looking at pics of myself when I lost the weight 10 years ago...I want that again, but just can't gather up the strength to do it again.....yet! 

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

So where am I at...

So where am I at...
Well I am a lot better health and diet wise...still not 100% but better than where I was.
Still super busy with work, kids and grandkids. Daughter has kicked Garrry out and is a bit of a mess. She is tired of all the emotional abuse from him and his cheating. The last few days she has taken off work to try and get paperwork sorted out. He is still in her house and she is staying here till he gets out. He was being super cocky and saying he's wasn't going as he was entitled to half of everything not thinking that Kylee meant that they were over. Now its can't be try and work this out....nope, she say's, we are DONE!! 

Above is Tanya having Summer cuddles. 
We don't see a real lot of them now, Tanya is working to support her family...and the girls both have jobs and sports (both are super netball players) and Matt...well he is the typical 10 year old boy!! 

Wednesday, October 03, 2018

Thyroid problems...

I know I have been missing for a bit..
I have been off track for awhile, had a raging appetite. Had headaches, night sweats agin (thought I was done with them!!, and was feeling so tired and fuzzy....
And I had a bout of diverticulitis as well...

A hormonal imbalance is a malfunction of one or more hormones in the body. Each hormone has a different effect on the body, and all hormonal imbalances are different. 
A hormonal imbalance may be asymptomatic, or inconsequential. However, it can also be the cause of many diseases, mild or severe, such as thyroid disorders, diabetes, acne, obesity, or infertility. Treatment includes restoring the normal order of these hormones.

So off to the Doctor I did go...
Blood tests I did levels were haywire.
Meds were altered and I am slowly starting to feel ok again.
I rang ww and explained what was going on and requested my membership put on hold for a month. My weight had skyrocketed. 

Our friends in Geraldton rang us and told us they had bought a big block of land out bush and asked us up there for a campout weekend. I requested the time off work and work gave me extra time off, so hubby and I hit the road and decided to go the long way around to our friends place and checkout the countryside and the awesome display of wildflowers. It was magic...and just what I needed.

Been back at home a week now and am slowly starting to feel like me again. 
My diet has been a lot better. Night sweats have stopped, bowel problems have settled down, my head is not so fuzzy.

Monday, September 10, 2018

3 years

They say as time goes by it does get easier...phewwwww I don't know about that!!
Today is 3 years since you left us Paul, but it hurts as much today as the day you left us. 
You would be so proud of Tanya and the strength she has shown....but you would beam with pride at your kids. Caity has been the tower of strength to Tanya, Ashlee is a mini you, she walks just like you did and Matty has your grin and infectious laugh.   Luke is struggling so much still, he regrets so much that he wasn't around more.
So you do live on in your kids....and our memories but hell I wish you were here. 


Thursday, September 06, 2018

My roster at work of late has been horrible. Have two girls off sick/holidays so we all been doing extra comes in handy though. Also throw in babysitting overnight grandkids 2 nights a week..
The roster change meant weight watchers meetings were few and far in-between. The one I could get too was closed down because of lack of attendance and my roster changes made the other 2 not viable.
So I put meetings on hold for a month. 
Don't know if that was good or bad as it threw all my good intentions out the window...and ate.
Been trying to get back on track since but its been hard. I went to Drs the other day to get thyroid tablet prescription done and told her about my troubles.I now have a big bruise on my arm from blood tests...Doc thinks my thyroid levels may have done a nose dive!!
Anyways...I aint no quitter so I'll keep on trying...I want this weight off!!! Its only me that can do it. 

I have Shawn's kids every 2nd weekend as respite for their foster mother. They are no problem...too addicted to their social media to get into much!!  They love their Dad, they love the change in him as we all do. 

Thursday, August 23, 2018


Well this was me....up and down, typical yoyo...good one meal, bad the next...regroup and have a good day then fall in a heap the following day....what a sad state of affairs!! I was miserable and so darn angry at myself.

Anyways....a few days off, some rest with no kids and I sat myself down and planned my days. Even managed a couple of walks.

Yesterday I had a girlfriend down for the day. We went out morning tea where we shared a slice, had a small roast pork lunch and afternoon tea we shared a scone. I had a light meal for my tea....and this morning at weigh in I was rewarded with a 900g loss for the fortnight. Put a smile on the dial that hopefully this will continue.

Alls good with the family....
Kylee, Garry, William have all got the flu and they hoping Summer doesn't get it!! 
Simon came down on the weekend with his boys, it was his youngest son's birthday so we had a small get together and cooked up a bbq. Things are not too crash hot with Simon, ongoing war with Tracey, his girls refuse to have anything to do with him. Tracey is poison and if she can cause trouble she will. Very opinionated and loves the sound of her own voice and doesn't care about what hurt she causes. Because Simon is my son the girls have had nothing to do with us since the breakup...sad but thats the way it is. Hopefully as they grow up (they are 15 and 16) they will get away from their mother and her nastiness and realise how important family is. The boys say they get quite embarrassed at how she acts and talks sometimes. 

Tanya is coping. It's nearly 3 years since we have lost Paul and she has coped thanks to the kids. They miss him of course as we all do but life has gone on and we go day by day with our memories. He would be so proud of them !! 
I myself had a meltdown the other day at work. I saw a guy who's profile was Paul's to a T, he was dressed like Paul used too...I thought for a few seconds it was him, even opened my mouth to call out to him....then remembered...

Anyways a work day tomorrow, so must away and get the washing in ( a fine day here but with a cool breeze) and air it out in front of the fire, especially my work uniform. 

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Still struggling...

I seem to be fighting a loosing battle with myself and my weight...
I rejoined weight watchers for the 12 months knowing that paying out that money on a monthly contract that I would have to attend!! 
But I am struggling...a lot of emotional eating and I can't seem seem to get out of the pattern. Why do I do this to myself. I so want to get myself healthy again and feeling good about myself....BUT I seem to fall into that bikkie barrel time and time again....