Sunday, January 15, 2017

Trying yet again !!

Well thats a good excuse, wish that was my reason….the only reason I have is food is my comfort and I eat till I overeat…then stuff in some more!!
Joining ww didn't give me the motivation I needed…just been wasting my money…and now with my roster being changed yet again to fill in for others on holidays I can't make the meetings. 
I am just so over myself….I am heavier that ever….over my start weight when I started ww in 2004/5.
So what am I going to do….I ain't a quitter as you know…
Well my dear friend Deb had a operation on her shoulder, then went on holiday for 6 weeks and due to her recovery and the travelling she has gained big time too. During her recovery from the op she didn't walk….and soooo of course I didn't walk much on my own, not much fun when you have no-one to jabber too…..someone that you have been jabbering and walking with now for over 20 years!! 
Deb had been doing the 5:2 diet before her shoulder started paining her so we both giving that a go. I watched Deb loose weight on it last time she did it so I know it works….so yep here I GO AGAIN !!! Day 2 today, a fast time and allowed to eat only 500 calories….all good so far. 
Another friend started it last week and had a good loss so hey its worth a go….PLUS daughter dear is now in double numbers, she is 30 kilo's down now…she going to be lighter than me soon...

The troublesome one is giving me heaps of stress….why can't he see the big fuck up that he has made of his life?? Told him today after I helped him out yet again with food and a few dollars that today was it….NO MORE, I wipe my hands on him until he decides to straighten his life out.  Can't help him as he won't help himself…he can't see that he needs help actually…..other than bludging of me is what he considers help!! Hubby would kill me if he knew how much I have helped him. 
I don't want him near me at the moment…I love him dearly, but I don't like him one little bit!! He seems to think as parents we SHOULD help him out even though he is 34 !!! Nope…tough love is gonna happen. I am not going to let him threaten my health any more. 

Extra motivation….and its my mantra now. 
I want to lose 15 kilo's (more if I can) in 10 months. That works out to be 1.5 kilo a month…very realistic and very doable.
And the reason….we are off cruising again,….Fiji here we come at the end of October. We fly to Sydney and sail out of there again. 
Should have waited a bit before I booked it as I know prices will go down. This cruise is only 11 days and they usually cost about a $100 to $120 a day…this one is a little bit more. Ted reckons we been ripped off….but you know what I don't care, its paid for and we going. 
Life is too short not to get out there and enjoy. We have learnt that….and it was hit home again on Saturday when we had to say goodbye to another close friend. 

Sunday, January 01, 2017

Happier New Year

How I have missed these two ladies over the festive season so much.
Its been the worst and the quietest Christmas I have ever had. Saw most of the family in the week before Christmas, but Christmas Day right up to now the only family member I have seen is the troublesome son…(who is in the shit right up to his eyeballs, stupid idiot!!)
Christmas was kept alive with Kylee sending video's of the little man on Christmas…and on his birthday 2 days later. The 1st christmas and birthday we have spent without them being here. 
yeah felt very alone….thankfully Ted and I get on real well and we enjoy each others company…so we made the most of it. Done nothing, been nowhere….other than up to his mum's,  daughter, son and brother's graves Christmas eve. 
Both of us were missing our Mums…usually go and see Mum just before Christmas, which I did but this time I decorated her grave. Had lunch with brother and sister as we always do but this time there was a chair empty at the table. And we usually have a family get together up at Ted's mum's, all taking a plate of something and having potluck…

Ohh I did catch up with the gorgeous Rach between Christmas Day and New Year, a friend I met many many years ago at WW…we have remained in contact even though she has moved over East. On Friday we had a catch up…so lovely to spend time with her again. 

Today is New Years Day…another day just Ted and I. Went to bed early and slept in the New Year. 
Mooched around the house and caught up on some chores. And ate.
All my hard work with my weight loss has been blow to smithereens as all I have done is eat eat and eat some more. I know it doesn't help me, just makes me more miserable but I still do it.
Tomorrow I WILL get back on track….and see if this is my year to get back to the land of living…instead of just existing. 

BTW…pics of daughter….so proud of her. It was very brave to admit she had a big problem with her weight. Very hard to admit to herself that she and her weight weren't helping her with her POCS and having more children. I admire her courage in having this op and giving herself a chance to have more children…and if she can't….giving her good health to run after the little one and her stepchildren. 
 She has gone from this…………..
 To this………………………...

 I am a very very proud Mum.  

A Very Very Happy New Year to you all…..
May you all enjoy good health, happiness and joyful blessings.