Monday, May 20, 2019

Still here...

My lovely Mother in Law, this pic was taken about 10 years ago now.
A few days ago it was the 3rd anniversary of her passing. We all miss her greatly still. 

Its been a busy few weeks.
First up..the week before last I lost weight again...I have finally...since I started Keto,  lost over 10 kilo's!! I started lazy Keto on January 16th. 
This week with Mothers Day and kids staying over...I lost the plot for a few days. Ate carbs, ate whatever took my fancy...but I am now back on Keto. I just don't feel 100% eating the carbs and the junk food. Anyways I struck out and didn't weigh in, i knew the scales would be up and with my mindset the way it was I wasn't going too. Not knowing what the scales said made it easier to put the "blow out" out of my mind and getting myself back on track.

I love the Keto way of eating. Yes I still have my blow outs occasionally, but thankfully I can get myself back onto Keto quickly and rectify the damage I may have done. 
My body shape has changed, a few centimetres have been lost all over, my clothes fit a lot better...and I do feel healthier. 
A comparison pic below. The bottom was was taken in February, and top ones were taken at the beginning of this month. 

Monday, April 29, 2019

Another week....

A lot of people that I work with and that have seen what I eat (mainly the cheeses, salami and nuts) shake their heads and go really and you expect too lose weight eating those kind of foods??
My boss was one of them but he said the other day "I can't understand the diet but whatever you are doing it works, I can see you have lost weight". 
I don't understand it fully myself but I know it works too.
I know too if I veer off it I suffer too!! 
After weigh in Friday ( I lost 300grams) I succumbed to the pressure of my teenage granddaughters and I bought them lollies. Yes, I indulged...oh my god, way too much sugar for me. At he time of eating I was fine and of course I ate too many, and I woke up Saturday morning with the usual rotten headache after "bad" eating. 
AND a quick check of the scales showed me I shouldn't have done that!!
I still do participate in my online weight loss group. A new round starts on Wednesday 1st May...hope I can get myself back down to the last weigh in number. 

Today is a quiet day...and a day off!!
Have some cooking I want to get done, off to start as soon as I finish here. 
It was my last night of having the little ones till Thursday night. I am enjoying the freedom and the peace and quiet. They have been a bit of a handful the last few nights. 
William broke his arm a few days ago, he fell off a machine down the park and landed the wrong way and broke both bones in his wrist, so poor wee man has been in a fair bit of pain.  Kylee got a mutual friend to tell his Dad...and of course he went off and blamed Kylee for not looking after him properly!! Kids fall, have accidents...but I guess they wouldn't do that if he had them!!! 
And little Miss is cross cutting teeth and although she is happy enough during the day, at night she is waking up wanting her bottle (which she normally doesn't). The night before last I was up at midnight, 3am, 4.30am and then again at 6.30 either feeding, changing or giving her parasol or putting bongella on her gums...

Right I am outta here...while I am in the mood I best go do this cooking...I am not a lover of cooking so while the mood strikes I best go do it...

Monday, April 22, 2019


I had a very bad couple of days after last week's weigh in..
A few stresses with the Kylee situation...and it got to me. I reverted back to emotional eating and didn't care what I ate.  Friday night I ate ice-cream which wasn't too bad I guess even though I didn't stop at just 1 !! Saturday morning I had work...and the smell of the takeaway got to me so I indulged in that!! After work I headed down to my  my aunties (My dad's last remaining sibling) to celebrate her 90th birthday. OMG...what a spread they put on for her....and I just couldn't resist the vanilla slices....
Home...and as I had my grandee's staying over their choice was yep I ate takeaway too !!
Sunday  I woke up during the night with the worst cramps in my legs...and in the morning with a thumping headache and a bloated and gurgling tummy....obviously they didn't like the food I was eating. Sooooooo I hopped back ont my lazy kept again and stuck to what suits me and my body.
Saturday morning saw my demon scales down 500grams...
All I can say is thank you Lazy Keto.  Thankfully I don't tend to veer off it too much. 

Friday, April 12, 2019

Still Losing...

I honestly never ever thought that I could do this way of eating.
I misguidedly tried it once before, but only lasted a few days as I thought the food was too rich for me...and at the time I didn't think I could live without bread. I of course went into it blind, didn't do it properly at all!! Now I love it, I find my body doesn't need too many carbs...I'm happy and best of all I am not inclined to cheat. I love the snack I never go hungry or feel I am missing out. Yes, I have had a few off kept days but I have very quickly got back onto it after the occasions. 
Well its 3 months on the 16th of this month since I started lazy Keto and with the 300g I lost this week I have lost 8.5 kilo's. Slow and steady ... but as long as it keeps coming off I am happy. 

Monday, April 08, 2019

oops nearly forgot.

Ooooops nearly forgot. 
I weighed in on Friday morning in case I forgot on the Saturday as I knew Saturday was going to be full on with the party...and the kids....

Anyways a loss of 400g to add to the total...slowly but surely the number is getting smaller!!
Still not setting goals...just chipping away at it week by week. 
I seem to set goals and when I don't achieve them, stuff it all up by eating my emotions. I do miss those cupcakes and and we won't go there ehhhh 
I only have one long term goal and that is to be into a pair of jeans I have kept like forever for a cruise that I am doing next year with my sister.  Its definitely doable...but for the moment its one day at a time. 

Thursday, April 04, 2019

Our Miss 1 year old.

Mummy and her lil Bug at the start of the party

Summer loved the bouncy castle

Aunty Tanya just loves lil Miss Summer. 

Cake smash time 

mmmmm icing...sticky icing!!

Mummy had her face smashed too

Happy much ?? 

 Doesn't my girl look so happy. A huge weight has been lifted off her good to see her really smile. 

The water slide was a HUGE hit too, especially with the bigger kids. Summer found it too and was one dirty and wet lil BUG!! 

Miss Summer let her big brother William blow out the cake.
Thank you Miss was a winner. Soooooo tasty too 

Friday, March 29, 2019

Just quickly...

Weighed in this morning as I have a busy weekend. I really didn't have the best week, what with being sick still, the kids, work....some of my food was just grab and eat. Nothing bad, but sometimes just not right. Too tired too cook and prepare proper meals. Anyways another 200g gone. Hopefully this weekend I can keep some keto control happening.

Our little Miss Snugglebug turned 1 on Wednesday and tomorrow we are having a little party here for her...

Just where has that time gone. From the great occasion we found out Kylee was pregnant, then the joy of finding out it was twins, to the sadness that one didn't make it, to watching Kylee grow her, the birth and the absolute delight (and noise) she brings into our life. 

Saturday, March 23, 2019

Another week down...

It hasn't been the best week health wise. I have suffered and still suffering with a head cold/sinusitis and I am over it already. What with work and the little ones I have been feeling pretty blah I can tell you. 

Our best friends and us were meant to be off on a holiday later this year...but that has been canned. They have bought a block of land and just can't afford to go on 2 trips in the one year. (They already committed to a trip away in September)
Sooooo I have been on hubbies back getting him to see if we are going to go anywhere. I would love to get away for a few weeks at least this year.  Anyways will see what happens. Would love to just pack up and hop in the Toyota and just drive and see where the road takes us...

Anyways today was weigh in day. It was goodbye to another 600g....

Monday, March 18, 2019

A win....

Another week has scooted by. 
It hasn't been without its stresses but we have managed to ride them and carry on.
The ex objected to the vro and they have to go to court on the 2nd of April. He and Kylee have some mutual friends, a married couple, and he has been harassing them with calls and texts to the point that they are over it and him big time!! But he has revealed to them that his lawyer has told him not to try to override the vro as he hasn't got a chance of it happening. They have told Kylee this and also told him to fuck off and leave them alone.

Its been tough on us all. I have the kids from Thursday night to Monday night. I dearly love them but boy are they hard work. I have started to take supplements (vitamins) as I am constantly drained...but I wouldn't change a thing. 

With all happening I was able to stick to plan and was delighted to see a kilo loss this week. 

I am off to be bed early tonight, I need a good night sleep. And a lay in bed in the morning with no demanding little bodies wanting me....

Saturday, March 09, 2019

A gain this week...

A terrible week this week....a lot of eating on the run...and though I tried to eat Keto it didn't always work that way.  Too much snacking didn't help either but the stress levels were high.
Kylee's situation escalated to the point that we had to go and get legal advice, which we did.
End result, a violence restraining order was put on her ex to stop him from having contact with her or the kids.  His intimidating threats and bullying phone calls and texts that Kylee had recorded/saved were enough for the magistrate to grant her the vro.  
He was getting worse daily, he wanted to control Kylee's life and was trying to manipulate her into doing as he wanted. He was even telling William his Mummy didn't like/love him. Who does that to a little 5 year old boy ?  William adored his Daddy and is going to find it hard without him...BUT he bought this upon himself. I hope he goes and seeks some help...he is mentally unstable. 
I can tell you this last week has been horrid....glad the vro is in place and we can try and move forward.  
Tomorrow I board the Keto train 100% again and see if I can remove this kilo I have gained. 

Friday, March 01, 2019

Weigh in day

Whether you want to loose weight, like me, or get fitter and healthier... it's not going to happen overnight! But if you just keep working at it a little each and every day, over time you will look back and be amazed at how much you've improved! I look back to when I started on the 16th January to now and I am amazed how far I have come. Since the start I have not been inclined to indulge or cheat. I have found ways to keep my carbs low and yet  indulge in foods that I love. I am winning.... The weight is coming off slower now than it was in the first few weeks, but if each week I shed a few hundred grams I will be happy. My clothes are fitting me better...I feel better and my skin feels great.  500g off today. I weighed in a day early as I have a early shift at work tomorrow morning.

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Talking about was no uniform and crazy hair day at school Uncle Shawn did Williams hair for him. He donned his favourite clothes and went to school with a grin from ear to ear...he LOVED his hair. One happy man. 

And look at this little Miss..
Was a hot night the night before last so kept her out playing longer than normal...I couldn't resist taking this pic....

Loves these little ones.
They hard work, have had them 6 nights this week....helping out Kylee due to her shifts and the ex changing his access night plans. But when they give you such happy smiles like these two do it makes it all worth it. 

Saturday, February 23, 2019

Stressed...but coping with Keto...

Damn Garry, Kylee's ex is a real bastard.
He's full of threats, he's sending Kylee horrible nasty and bullying texts and then also tagging her on Facebook with Memes saying he loves her and she's horrible for not giving him a second chance. I missed a chance on Facebook last night, he posted a picture that could have got him in a whole lot of shit....and we could have kept the kids away from him today (his access weekend) but being tired and stressed I didn't even think of screenshotting it!! Now that made me feel so damn bad.  I wish Kylee would just block him..on everything and only unblock him when he has the kids. 
Now come on Garry, you are the one that has continually cheated, you are the one that manipulated and are the one that made the mistakes!! Yet in his tiny little mind he is twisting it around saying that Kylee is the one in the wrong because she denied him affection.
It is really getting to Kylee....and truth be told it is getting to us too. 
Thinking maybe she is going to have to get legal advise. 

Simon is also having relationship problems. He and his girlfriend have split.  Our troublesome one Shawn is the only one that is happy and carefree....and doing just great drug free and sober...proud of him. Just wish he would get a job and start making plans for his future....that is move on and leave home again!! Really he is no problem...BUT I want just us again. 

Anyways another week done on Keto. 

And I have nailed it....
Another loss on the scales this morning...(600grams) Wasn't sure what the "demons" would say this morning as last Friday I ate a small block of chocolate, and then Saturday night I had pizza. It gave me a headache the next day actually and it made it easy to climb back on board the Keto way of eating. It proved to me I can do this....I surprise myself every day I eat this way...I don't miss bread, or pasta, or rice or potato's and I really thought I would.
Long may I keep feeling like this. Before I started I was rapidly heading towards a number I never wanted to see again, I felt miserable and ate more because I was miserable. I hated myself and my body...Keto way of eating has saved me....and I thank the friend who talked me into it. Thanks Rach.

Monday, February 18, 2019

So how have I been going?

So, how have I been going? Truthfully, great!! I am so loving this Lazy Keto and it seems to be working for me....which I was real surprised about. I didn't think I could live without my carbs...I loved bread and ate it frequently, but up till this weekend I hadn't had any since I started Keto.
I started Keto on January 16th and as of February 16th I have lost nearly 6 kilo's. 
On Friday night I had a blow out and ate a small block of chocolate and Saturday night I had all the kids here and grandies and they wanted a pizza we ordered in!! 
 It was such a lovely evening we all sat out on the lawn and indulged. I only had a 3 small slices and a taste of garlic bread but on Sunday morning I woke up feeling rather blah.  So its back on the wagon and back into doing what is working for me.  Slow and steady and lets see what happens. 

Wednesday, February 06, 2019

I'm still here....

 Yeah I am still here....
And I am going well.
Had a good long talk with some friends of mine, both have been doing Lazy Keto for nearly 12 months. One of those friends has lost over 20 kilo's and she has a lot of medical conditions that has hampered her progress. 
Anyways after a bit of research and feeling very apprehensive I started this way of eating on the 16th January. So far so good. I thought I would really struggle with the lack of bread...but so far I haven't even craved it. 
Saw my Dr and she approves and said it would help me with my diverticulitis. I sure know it has helped me with bloating and a lot of my aches and pains in my legs have gone.  
Best of all, I have lost 5 kilo so far. Long may these kilo's keep coming off!! 
I really needed help...just before I started this the scales were heading higher and higher, clothes were straining at the seams, I was miserable and hating myself and just couldn't stop the never ending emotional eating.

Two weekends ago and Sunday and Monday just gone we headed out bush for some time out. It was marron season (freshwater lobster would describe them) and we went out and caught our quota....very delish...

Time out was much needed. Looking after grandies a couple of nights a week (sometimes 4 nights in a row) does make me a little weary. William is now a real talk a mile a minute 5 year old (he never shuts up!!) and Summer is just starting to get mobile 10 month old.
Every second weekend I have Shawn's girls (15 years and 12 years) to give their foster mother some respite. They get their noses into their phones/tablets so don't get a lot of too much out of them.  Have to prise them away from them so get outside and get some fresh air. 

I may have to have the little ones a bit more often....depends on Kylee and Garry. 
Kylee has kicked Garry out....he is not to return. Once a cheater, always a cheater...but this time Kylee caught him out red handed.
He has the kids 2 night a week on his days off...Kylee will never deny him that, but thankfully she has rid of him once and for all!! 

Saturday, January 12, 2019

6 days on...

And I am still struggling.
Just can't get my head around things at the moment. Too much emotional upheaval and I can't seem to cope without the help of food. My weight is up and down, more up than down, actually my weight is affecting my health...and I need to get my shit together and stop the dilly dallying and JUST DO IT!! 
I keep saying this, but let my emotions take over and then I go eat!! It has to stop...and I promise it will...
Away for the weekend...then its back and try again.

Sunday, January 06, 2019

How am I going....

Im going ok...bad moments and good ones too.
Trying to focus on the now and me...but I struggle some days.
We lost a close friend on Christmas Day, one of Ted's best friends. Their friendship spanned over 55 years...the funeral is tomorrow. Im trying not to dwell on it...but Ted is hurting and so am I.
To throw into the mix I have had Shawn's girls here on the weekend, not meant to have them but the eldest girl has very bad anger issues and took some of them out on her foster mother. (threw a phone at her, kicked in the bedroom door and then proceeded to try and self harm herself) She has been struggling with Skye who just refuses to accept that she in care and refuses to let herself be happy....a very sad situation for us all. Amber after struggling for nearly 2 years with this situation (with some good times in the mix too) has asked DCP to take her out of her care effective immediately. Skye's mother who the girls talk to daily on the phone and messenger thinks it okay for her to show her anger the way she does..and encourages Skye. Skye says it ok too, "Mum says so" is her favourite saying. I must say in Skye's defence we have had next no problems with her here...a bit "mouthy" at times but no other issues. 
Anyways consequently I have struggled a little. Eating hasn't been the best today, and I will no doubt struggle tomorrow with travelling and the funeral....BUT I am determined to dig deep and find me again still.  As a dear friend (she is also a life councillor) said to me yesterday. "There is no "old " you. You are different now. Healing from trauma can also mean finding new strength and joy. Its going to take courage...but you will. Do not punish yourself". 
Right....onwards...I will be back. 

Wednesday, January 02, 2019

Day 2

I am finally allowing myself to begin to let go of all the anger, the hurt and grief that has wrapped me up for the past 3 years. I have been (I think) to scared to let myself be "me" and live because of all that I have lost. It hurts so much still.

Day 1 was yesterday....I aced it!!

I am not allowing myself a day "off" till my birthday in February.
Going to be a challenge as I will have visitors from New Zealand here on the 4th, then a funeral to attend on the 7th. But do it I will...I have too...for me !! 
I know I am going to have set backs, and off days...but I have to rediscover myself. This has to be for me...the real me.