Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Its back to work...

Not only has a huge part part of our lives gone, a  big big part of Tanya's life has gone too. 17 years of togetherness was nowhere near long enough for her. 
And 35years with the son of my heart was not long enough…and my dear husband has lost another child, his precious eldest child, his mate…45 years was nowhere long enough.
 This is Paul and his sister Rosemary, taken  a few months before she was killed in an accident in May 1996.
As we were preparing to leave to go to the crematorium on Friday two doves came and landed on the fence at Tanya's. The male just sat there and looked around at us all, and the female preened her feathers. We think this was an omen that Paul was with her as they sat there just preening and watching us for about 5 minutes, even as the kids ran around making noise. It helped sooth our broken hearts a little. 
This pic was taken on their last holiday together as a family…treasured memories for them all.
Our lives, everyone of us,  has a huge hole in it now…
Our only thing that does console us all is that he did not linger, the cancer is not causing him any more pain.  He fought…but lost the battle.

I go back to work heavy hearted tomorrow.

Thank you all for the lovely messages of sympathy. 

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Thursday, September 10, 2015


Our Paul passed away in the early hours of this morning peacefully. 

Wednesday, September 09, 2015

good days, bad days

Well, my week started real well…..I followed the filling and healthy plan to the letter for over a week…no mishaps whatsoever and felt really good. My clothes felt looser and I knew it was working and the weight was coming off.
THEN Paul collapsed and Tanya had to get the ambulance in to stabilise him and get him to hospital…and I hit a wall and the last 2 days I have been out of control. 
He had been feeling blahhhh since his Nanna's 90th and unfortunately as the week went on he got worse, he has trouble with food at the best of times but it got that way he was hardly eating at all, and his weight was getting too low.…so much so he couldn't have his "red devil" chemo on the Friday. 
But his haemoglobin levels are slowing getting back to where they should be after a few blood and iron transfusions so hopefully he may be able to get out of hospital this afternoon. 

I am not giving up…Paul hasn't….he ain't a quitter and nor am I