Weeks of birthdays...and Easter

Easter eggs, chocolates...ahhh they are my friends this week and Easter isn't officially here till tomorrow.....
I have had a terrible 2 days, tears for no reason, sad for no known reason...and then I remembered...Mum's funeral was today 1 year ago. Geeeee I miss her.
Food has always been my choice of comfort....on days like the last 2 days I wish it wasn't. I have binged and I feel so darn sick for it....hopefully I won't crave chocolate again for a long time!!! 

Lots of birthdays this week and next.
We have just had Caitlins...she is Pauls eldest, she turned 15 on Saturday.
Today is Kaleb's...he turned 8 today...he is missing his Daddy too.
Yes...he still in prison, doing as well as he can be in there. I still haven't visited and I don't intend too. I have no desire to visit there and see him in prison greens...nope not going to do that!!
A friend is taking his 2 girls (13 and 10 years) to see him tomorrow....he is looking forward to it. He rings once or twice a week, he says he is clean of all traces of drugs, has put on weight, his skin is clear...so being in there has helped in that way.
He still on remand awaiting sentence...he hopes to get that at the end of this month...apparently it was was to be on the 6th April but he asked to pay off his fines with more time so it was put off till the end of the month.

Matthew has his birthday on Tuesday, as does Hannah (Kaleb's mum), 21st is Tracey's, on the 25th Luke our eldest grandchild turns 21...and then Ted has his birthday on the 27th.
April is our horror month for birthdays....guess every family has months like that.

Feeling blahhh so off to bed to read my book, another work day tomorrow.  

Mum's Anniversary.

It was 12 months since we lost Mum on the 31st March.
The past 2 days I have been lost, overwhelmed with sadness....back to my old ways of eating my emotions and drinking.....
But today I realised Mum wouldn't want me to do this to myself...I am hurting but in the long run I am only doing damage to myself. After the journey I have been on during the last 18 months I HAVE to look forward, I don't want to go back there again. 
So today...I suck it up...and begin again. 
Heck... BUT I miss her so much....

Sis went to her resting place on Friday and left flowers from us both. The headstone I organised is on....went down there 2 weeks ago and approved it. My brother and sister came out and we all viewed it together for the first time.
Everytime we go there birds are present.  The day we said goodbye there was doves, the day of the headstone viewing it was parrots, Friday Sis says there was a willy wag tail hopping around....Mum loved birds and was always feeding them.

Spread those wings Mum and fly high with the Angels xx