I have just read....

...an article in a magazine that really describes my son Shawn. I am so angry with that kid at the moment I could just spit, but don't know why I bother as he being the way he is just doesn't care. He had a great job, seemed to be happy out there...but the other day he walked out of work at mid morning and reckoned they were all a bunch of dickheads and he wasn't going to go back to be treated like an immature little boy. He hasn't been back and thou his father and I have asked him to go out and see his boss...he refuses, says he has rang him and if he can't answer his calls thats it !!

This article is all about Psychosis...
Psychosis is the term used when the following symptoms occur. Delusions....false, firmly held and unshakable beliefs. Hallucinations....false sensory perceptions (such as voices, smells or images). Disordered thought...jumping from one idea to the next with little association, going off on tangents without returning to the initial idea. Unusual behaviour.....people with acute psycosis have little or no awareness that they are not themselves as they have lost the connection with reality.

Most people are aware of the psychosis that occurs in schizophrenia, but it can appear as part of the mania (excessive mood elevation) and severe depression.
Certain substances, including cannabis and methamphetamine can cause rapid onset of pyschosis.

Welllllllll this is Shawn to a CAPITAL T which I know from previous experiences with him...but to see it in writing and to know there are other people like Shawn, and other parents like Ted and myself that are suffering. And suffer we do, as what can we do...he doesn't realise what he is doing to himself as he is not himself....and anything we say is not believed because of the firm unshakable beliefs he has in his head!!

A no win situation ehhhhh? I hope not...as I still hope....I have to

I am sick ......

....and tired of being so sick!! This flu is really draining me and I just can't shake it. Some days I wake up feel as thou I am recovering but as the days go on it just hangs on and on......I AM OVER IT !!!!!!!

I can't excersise, I just don't have the energy, I am eating so much crap, have so many cravings and again just don't have the energy to stop myself. Every day I tell myself its time to stop it...but being the weakling I am at the moment...I don't! I have made an appointment to see my Dr but can't get into to see him till early September. I need something.....a big kick up the arse I think...it must be getting big enough to not miss!!!

I bought a diary today....decided that enough is enough....and tomorrow is the day I start tracking everything again...whether it be good or bad, I am hoping that by reading exactly what crap is actually going into my mouth might spur me on ......wish me luck!! Something has to .... I worked too darn hard to get myself slim to give in and lose the plot entirely, its the one thing that I have to keep on telling myself to help spur me on, its worked before, hopefully it will this time too.

I don't know what else to do.....I haven't felt this darn sick in a long time....it is depressing to know that I am over-eating and not have the energy to do anything about it. BUT .... tomorrow is another day and to know at least I am going to try and make an effort will spur me on....

Bye till next time......

Thomas turns two.....

Yesterday little Thomas turned 2....wowwwwww sometimes I wonder where time goes. It only seems like yesterday I drove to the hospital to see him being born.....now he is running around chatting like a magpie.....

On Sunday me and hubby drove up to his house for a bbq with him and the family....the whole 4 kids were not at all well, all were under the weather with this dratted flu that is going around. Poor loves...as they were so looking forward to having a party and didn't have the energy to do so. All little Tom wanted for his birthday was a chainsaw....he spends all his time going around sawing up everything. So I got him one...thankfully he loved it !!

I have had the dreaded flu too....stuffy nose, sore throat, yukky cough and general tiredness.....but I am coping with it.

Weight.....welllllllllll just forget about that for the moment, this flu has made me as hungry as....have days where I eat like a horse, and others where I just can't be bothered. Hope I can get all back under control before I lose the plot.....but I don't think I will....worked to darn hard to get here.

Not a lot happening....

In the world of Jen....
I have had my hair re-cut after the disaster a couple of weeks back. They did a great job on the colour, love that...but sure didn't cut anywhere enough off. My hair is thick, has a natural curl in it and when not cut right it looks darn terrible as it seems to have a life of its own and goes any which way it wants too!!!
Weight watchers.....welllllllll I haven't been there for a while...have been having some good days and some badish days....overall I think I have evened it out.....we'll see when I get to a weigh in sometime this month....
Dear hubby and I went up to the footy last weekend....the local derby game. It wasn't my teams home game and I can say my team didn't win either !!! But it was a day out for us....something we just don't do often enough. My hubby isn't a fan of the footy, doesn't care who wins or loses....but does know that I love my beloved West Coast Eagles. This year they have been playing ABSOLUTELY WOEFUL and that has hubby calling them "The Budgies" !!!!
Shawn.....welllllllllll he has been Shawn....still in his moods, but around me and hubby has been a lot better. Doesn't spend a lot of time here, don't know where he is going or what he is up to, but I know he is going to work, his councelling sessions..all with some grizzles and grumbles I believe, but at least he is going ...
Work has been quiet...had a couple of days off this week. Going to be quiet next week too in more ways than one....my best workmate and my good friend Zoe had her last day today.....so next week I will be on my own......that I am not going to enjoy!!
I off now ..... it's evening and the cold air is setting in, time to go stoke up the fire and do dinner......

Our little Miss Ashlee.....

was 4 years old today.....

Happy Birthday sweet girl.......

A little birthday party was held at her house for a few of her bestest friends, her granparents, and a few uncles and aunties.....where we all spent a few happy hours partying with our little girl.