Yoyo'ing

That's me....a yoyo....
I really have to get myself sorted out....and focus and commit to my plan. 
Its only 4 months to our cruise and I want to lose more weight before we go.....but I keep sabotaging myself....that will HAVE to stop if I want to meet my goals. 
Its easy to say...now I just HAVE to commit.
Only lost a 100g this week...due to me overeating on the Friday after weigh in, continuing the pattern on Saturday before pulling my head in on Sunday and realising what I was doing to myself.
Exercise has been next to nil other than what I do at work...been so tired of late, lazy too...no excuse, I have had the time. 

So lets see if I can break the cycle. 

Happy is...

And ain't that the truth.....I just hugged that lady, she made my day...

Not only are the scales showing me that....
so is the tape measure....
And so is my diary...just love watching those numbers go down again...

The last 2 years have been absolute hell...and its great to finally be able to concentrate properly on me.  The overwhelming grief has gone, though some days I a memory, a photo, a song or just a thought will have me in tears..
In a couple of days it will 2 years to the evening that Paul came and told us he had terminal cancer and had only a little time left with us. 
I know that is the reason our troublesome one is in jail....what with that diagnosis, his death, followed quickly by Mum's accidental death and then Ted mum's, his grief overwhelmed him and drugs and alcohol numbed it all. I know I completely forgot that when we lost Rosemary in 1996, he as an teenager found them to numb his feelings then.  The troublesome one has a long road ahead of him.... 

Got a quote today on our trip of a lifetime. A few more things to iron out yet....but it looks like late May we will be travelling..... 

I'm back......

Not that I been anywhere....
Its been work and sick for me....yup I got the lurgy...

Last Wednesday I went to work feeling just a little ordinary....but as the day wore on I just started feeling worse...and worse. Throat felt like I had razor blades in it, and my head was pounding.... 

How I finished the day I don't know....  I left work 10 minutes before I was supposed too, but hey I couldn't stand it another minute. Drove home, gave hubby a hug, took some pain killers and fell into bed. Thankfully I had 2 days off because bed was where I stayed. I lived on sips of water....thats when I wasn't sleeping. 

Saturday morning I had a early shift, and though I wasn't 100% I made it through the shift, came home and just chillax'ed out in front of the fire.

Sunday work again, but thankfully I was 90% better, drink and small amounts of food were getting past the razor blades in my throat. 

Monday was a day of rest....no work thankfully so by Tuesday morning I was fully rested up and 95% ok. 

I am still not back to 100% but geee anything is better than feeling like I did Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. 

One thing it did do was get the weight down. Lost 1.3 and now at a number I haven't been in awhile. Regained some of my mojo and feel like I can finally get motivated again to lose these kilo's. I have a figure in my head that I would like to be by the time we go on our cruise at the end of October. 

The troublesome one is still inside. Every phone call we receive from him is full of him staying clean and finally doing something with his life when he gets out.  Lets hope so. I will support him all the ways I can...but till I see it happen I can't be confident that it will. Heard those words so many time before to no result. When will he be out...who knows, court dates come and go and they keep on getting deferred. 

He had a visit from DCP a few weeks ago, and all his kids have been taken off Hannah and her partner and put into full-time care. On speaking to DCP Hannah has not been protecting them....heck knows what those kids have been through. I have reported Hannah a few times after being told stories by the kids. So had Shawn. At least now they will be fully protected (hopefully) till they are 18 now. Shawn and I have not been denied any access. 

Ted's mum estate has all finally been settled. Ted and his 2 brothers received some dollars after the money was divided....and the grandchildren all received a few thousand dollars too. So Shawn will have a small gift from his Nanna to help him out later on.  Kylee is using hers to buy a 4x4 dual cab so she can take her little family off the beaten track fishing and gives her room to put her dogs in the back too.  Us, well we decided a long time ago we would live out a dream and go to the one country we have always wanted to visit.  Plans have been put in motion....