Day off....

Not a real lot happening......been a bit down in the dumps on and off during the week. I was going to do a "fast-track" course and follow a dream I had of getting back into hospital work again..... (years ago before kids....I was training to be a nurse, and I loved it).....and train as a Patient Care Assistant. Well that dream went "poof " .... I did not get into the course so I am still out at the funny farm doing my boring mundane job. Have a day off today as the work out there is slowing down due to a break in the plantings....have finished one crop and have to wait a while before the next crop is ready to harvest. While I am off today, am going down to my hairdresser and get her to re-cut my hair. I had a cut and colour on the weekend...love the colour but they sure made a real muck up of the cut.....they just gonna have to fix it today if they can !!!

I need the break anyways, and while I am off I can look at other options open to me regarding work, as work I have too.....a morgage to finish paying off yet (its nearly there!!) and dear hubby and I want to retire with SOME money in the bank so we can enjoy some time together travelling.

On the weight front....well we won't go there, the emotional eating bit has come in to play again....but I am trying to control it. Gave a friend a ring who is a ww lifer like myself and told her what was going on....great friend that she is has been giving me a lot of support and trying to keep me on track.

Is it just me or what but is blog world gone a bit quiet?? A lot must be hibernating with winter.....but heyyyyyyyy I really don't blame them, I am sooooooooooo feeling the cold and can't wait for the weather to warm up. It has been so cold and wet lately in the mornings....I can't get out and walk before work and I miss that!! Have a couple of DVD'S I do, but its not the same......

Shawn.......wellllllllll he has been okay. When he can get over his "woe is me" attitude and realise if he wants to get anywhere HE has to put the effort into it he may get somewhere.....till then he'll get no-where. One day he may wake up to himself....thou I have my doubts. He had the kids for a few hours on the weekend.....one thing I don't doubt is he's love for them.....it just shines out of him when they are around

Some changes

For a long time now I have not been happy with my job, which a lot of you know is nothing special anyway.....I only work on a market garden grading and packing vegetables....very mundane and boring. But I have for the last year been wanting to follow a dream of mine...and maybe this time I will have the strength within myself to follow this dream...I will keep you updated. I have some paperwork in my hot little hands now and after a big discussion with hubby I hope we can make the final decision as to whether or not I follow this through.

Shawn is still working....which is a blessing. His mood since his last councelling session on Tuesday has to put it mildly been not good!! Think they may have told him a few home truths and he did not like it!! They, his councellor and a rep from DCP, came out to meet hubby and I this week just to touch base with us and fill us in with what they want to achieve with Shawn. As we said to them "good luck" as you will really need it. The only thing that will help him is to go in to rehab, detox and get rid of the dope out of his system and never use it again. Luckily he hasn't been staying here, he has just been here for showers and to pack his lunch for work the following day...but believe me that has been long enough to put up with him. Wish I was a stronger person and could tell him to "piss off" and stay out of my life...I hate him when he is like this and am actually starting to fear him and yes fear for him more. I love him, but ohhh I hate him more. He is a great person when he is off the dope....but the dope is really effecting him at the moment....and I just have to have faith I guess that someone, somewhere can help him....hopefully himself, coz ultimately thats the only person that can !! He has his kids here tomorrow for access visit....they, espesially Skye, have missed him terribly as last Saturday and the Saturday before they didn't get to see him due to stuffs up with DCP and their carers.

ohhhhhh before I go....I went to weigh in last night....and noooooo I am not a 60's girl....I stayed the same. Next week I don't think I will be a 60's girl either...not with what I have consumed today. I have had no work today, its been a wet, cold and miserable day and for some reason I have been too!!

Its been one heck of a week

Its been a long and very very busy week and I can tell you Friday 5pm cannot come quick enough.....I am soooooo tired and feel as thou I could sleep for a week. Work has been so hectic......I have to be at work by 7.30am and do not usually finish before 5pm so it makes for a long day. This week we have had a staff shortage.....plus we use backpackers for workers and Monday we had 4 new ones start, so what with the language barrier (a lot cannot understand English, let alone speak it !!) and trying to teach them their job plus do your own, orders a mile long to get throu .....mmmmmmmmmmm yep it has been bedlam !!

Shawn has been quite good this week....it has been a reasonably stress free week as far as he is concerned. he has been attending anger management/councelling every Tuesday afternoon and this last week has heard news on Hannah....so guess that has helped. Plus he has been working quite long hours so that has kept him occupied as well. Hope this keep up. As yet he has heard nothing back from the insurance company, or for that matter the police on any reports back from the accident he had. No news is good news I guess.

Dear daughter in Melbourne tells me they might be moving locations .... mmmmm so next time I go to Melbourne they may be out closer to the country. Daughter Kylee is hoping that they do move in one way...means they can move out of their small 2 bedroom unit into a 3 bedroom house and pay $50 a week less rent!! With a wedding in Western Australia in 2010 to save up for it is money that will come in handy.

I had a weigh in tonight...after my disaster of a week in Melbourne...and a week on track here at home, thou with very little excersise, I can happily report a loss of 300 grams..... Next week I will be looking forward to being a 60's girl again.

Had a good week...

Since I have been back from Melbourne I have got myself right back on track and I have stuck to my points like glue. Needed to as I did not want to follow the way I was eating in Melbourne. I had an absolute ball over there with my dear daughter and catching up with some very special friends. Ohhhhh and lots of sightseeing !!!Being I was there for only those few days made it hectic but it was worth it, it was great to catch up everyone !! And going to the MCG to watch my beloved Eagles was worth it even thou we did get beaten.....the atmosphere there was absoooolutelyyy awesome!! Eating on the run is not good for the waist line ..... it did not make me feel good, actually some of the junk I ate did not agree with me at all!!

I missed out on last weeks weigh in, it was wet and cold and I was tired, BUT the truth really was I wasn't game enough to go!! Even thou it was very tempting I did not hop on my scales to see what damage I may have done, decided to just track and give myself the week to get back to normal.

On the homefront.....Shawns vechile has been repaired and is back on the road. Luckily his father is very handy and knows how to do all these things, being part of his trade helps. Shawn is still staying here with us thou, but says he will go back to sleeping in his Toyota again soon, hopefully not too soon, it gets down to 2 degrees of a night at the mo and he has been quite sick with a bad dose of the flu. He didn't get the kids this weekend, was a bit disappointed but took it quite well. Had a major tanty thou when he received a letter from an insurance company to say the other car involved had filed a claim saying Shawn was at fault. Anyways he eventually calmed down when he realised he could say he wasn't at fault....so he filled in the form with his version of what happened. As I said if he loses and has to pay out for their damages, he hasn't got the money to do it....so to just wait and see what eventuates.

Had eldest granson bought out to visit this weekend as he was down visiting his Dad during the school hols, it was great to catch up with him....we don't get to see him as much as we would like too. Had a good old chat and catch up on all the gossip.



ahhhhhhhhhhh well, I off and will update later this week with results of weigh in....

Am home....

....had a fantastic time but boy am I tired! It was a fantastic 5 days with my girl, we shopped, we caught up with some very special friends, we went to the footy (yep, the Eagles lost!!) and we shopped some more......
BUT....the big question was I good??
I can say NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I wasn't.....heck knows what damage I have done to myself.....I can kick myself for being so stoopid!!! ahhhhhh well whats done is done.....and now I have stopped the pendulum swinging from good to bad and its all good again!!!

On the home front.....Shawn has been good. He is going to work everyday, he has been to his councelling sessions, he had the kids again while I was gone and had a good time with them. He also was in a car accident while I was in Melbourne...didn't have his attention on his driving, was still thinking about his visit with his kids....and is now without a vechile. Heck knows what is going to happen, he was uninsured, not sure who was at fault and what is going to happen...but ahhhhh well one day at a time I guess.

Anyways off to bed for me, need some shut-eye.....a busy day for me tomorrow and I have to keep that pendulum from swinging and stay on track......