Some changes

For a long time now I have not been happy with my job, which a lot of you know is nothing special anyway.....I only work on a market garden grading and packing vegetables....very mundane and boring. But I have for the last year been wanting to follow a dream of mine...and maybe this time I will have the strength within myself to follow this dream...I will keep you updated. I have some paperwork in my hot little hands now and after a big discussion with hubby I hope we can make the final decision as to whether or not I follow this through.

Shawn is still working....which is a blessing. His mood since his last councelling session on Tuesday has to put it mildly been not good!! Think they may have told him a few home truths and he did not like it!! They, his councellor and a rep from DCP, came out to meet hubby and I this week just to touch base with us and fill us in with what they want to achieve with Shawn. As we said to them "good luck" as you will really need it. The only thing that will help him is to go in to rehab, detox and get rid of the dope out of his system and never use it again. Luckily he hasn't been staying here, he has just been here for showers and to pack his lunch for work the following day...but believe me that has been long enough to put up with him. Wish I was a stronger person and could tell him to "piss off" and stay out of my life...I hate him when he is like this and am actually starting to fear him and yes fear for him more. I love him, but ohhh I hate him more. He is a great person when he is off the dope....but the dope is really effecting him at the moment....and I just have to have faith I guess that someone, somewhere can help him....hopefully himself, coz ultimately thats the only person that can !! He has his kids here tomorrow for access visit....they, espesially Skye, have missed him terribly as last Saturday and the Saturday before they didn't get to see him due to stuffs up with DCP and their carers.

ohhhhhh before I go....I went to weigh in last night....and noooooo I am not a 60's girl....I stayed the same. Next week I don't think I will be a 60's girl either...not with what I have consumed today. I have had no work today, its been a wet, cold and miserable day and for some reason I have been too!!