Feeling determined

Shawn with his birthday boy Shayden



Yesterday I was meeting up with Shawn ( the troublesome one) to spend a couple of hours together before picking up his kids after school and having a little party for Shaydens 6th birthday which was on Wednesday.  Had been speaking to him earlier in the day and he seemed to be looking forward to it. Get there to pick him up and he was in one of "his moods"!! Obviously he had a argument with Shaz and then had a "bong" coz I could smell it on him. I ignored the mood till he started on me and said I only wanted to be with him today so I could tell what a mess up of his life he had made!!  I told him to get his shit together or I would drop him off at centrelink and go home..and he could ring his kids and tell them why he was acting liking a prick. With that I pulled up at centrelink, said do I stay or go while you go in and do what you had to do? He asked me to stay.  By this time I am absolutely starving as we were meant to be going to lunch so I had nothing before leaving home.  Anyways he comes out and apologises for being an asshole and we head off to Subway. I was not going to do what I usually do and eat my emotions. Shawn when he is like this is foul, the filth that pours out of his mouth is unbelievable…I use to wonder where did I go wrong.  Not now I don't, he chose to be like this, we did warn him…he knows where he went wrong, but I don't think he realises how unstable the cannabis has made him, or how physcotic he really is. 
Anyways it all turned out for the better, he shut up and seemed to enjoy the rest of his time with me, I think mainly because I bought him some tobacco and real smokes….and preceded to have a great hour or so with his kids at the park before the weather changed for the worse.  He truly does love his kids..and they know it and love him too.

The best thing about the day was, I resisted bad choices. I could have had a big greasy hamburger for lunch, but I chose subway. I could have stopped off at KFC, Red Rooster or Chicken Treat and bought a meal home after I dropped Shawn off….but I didn't. I stopped off at the supermarket and bought a cooked chicken, some coleslaw and I made us chicken and salad for dinner.  Go me…and its all thanks to Chris and the weight loss support group. The support is amazing. I DO have support at my ww group, but thats only once a week. This group is keeping me determined to stay on track.