Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Home Sweet Home...

Well we are back…
Did we enjoy ourselves…yes we did….but the whole time we were away we wanted to be home too.
I caught up with my gorgeous friend Rach, wish we could have had more time together but I am happy that she'll be here in April next year so it won't be 6 years between hullo's.  

And I met the lovely Anni…thanks Anni for catching up with us, you look amazing…but best of all, it was great to finally meet you, felt as I already knew you, just had to put a voice to the words is all. 

Hubby and I have both got grey while away, hubby had hardly any grey in his hair at all before we left, now they are everywhere. All from the stress of what
Paul was going through while we were away even though we left with with his blessing. We rang him weekly and he rang us too and he reported he had more good days than bad.
We know even if we had stayed home there would not be much we could do. Tanya goes to all Paul's treatments and when she needs support she has her mum and her sister's and some very good supportive besties.
We are left feeling helpless and wait for them to ask for any help. 
He has started on what they call "The Red Devil" chemo and he said it had knocked him for a six for a few days….and his hair started to fall out in huge clumps…

So he shaved it and his beard off…..

I am scared, so scared of what is too come. He has scans after his next lot of treatment to see if has made any impact on the cancer.
I have been hiding my head in food…and I have come back as heavy as what I was before I lost all those kilo's before our cruise. I am so ashamed of myself…I loathe what I have begun and hope I can find the strength to fight for me and my health again. 

I need some sleep….a busy few days coming up. This weekend we get to celebrate Ted's mum's 90th birthday…..and I have dear daughter and my precious wee William down too….something to smile about. We hoping Paul is well enough to join in the festivities. 


  1. Don't feel guilty about the weight gain, sometimes things like that have to take second place for a while. I am sure when things are more settled you will get back into eating and exercising healthy again. Sending positive vibes for good results for Paul on his next scan. Try and have a good weekend :)

  2. It was fabulous to meet you both too and as you say great to put a voice and a real live person to someone you've 'known' for a good number of years. Can only imagine how worried and unhappy you must be thinking about Paul. Crossing everything that that the Red Devil is working overtime doing what it's supposed to. Will try and get that info to you as soon as I can - heading up to Rocky this weekend as part of my birthday celebrations so might not get time till next week xx

  3. How sad that Paul is having to go through this, cancer sucks.
    Try not to let food be your comfort... even though I'm like you and do the same thing.
    Don't hate yourself! You are coping the best way you can, it must be excruciating watching your child go through this.
    Enjoy Master William... he is your bright light.