On the mend

So many times I pick up the phone and to ring Mum and tell her something that has happened….before I realise I can't. 
….and I still ring Paul's phone just to hear his voice on his message bank….
The loss of Mum seems to have intensified the grief inside me and I cry at any little memory of all those that I have lost in the past, even my brother who has been gone 37 years ago now. 
I pray that Mum is safe in Tom's (my brother's) arms watching over us, she and him had a very special bond…he was her "devil" child. 

Anyways I am on the road to recovery with my asthma, no more steroids. My chest is still sore, but I am not wheezy anymore…though still get breathless if I exert myself.  I will attempt to start walking next week if I continue to improve. And if the weather improves, its been very cold and windy with some rain…not very pleasant at all at the ungodly hour of 5am which is the hour I leave to drive into work. 

My online weight challenge finished today. I went from one of the top 5 losers (3 weeks ago) to having a gain of 1.8 for the challenge…
….But I rejoined for the next 3 months and I plan to focus on getting the weight off.  It will help keep my mind active and ease the grief a bit I hope. 
Paul was so proud of me when I lost the weight last time and of how I kept it off…I want to show him and Mum that I can do it. Mum always worried about me and my weight yoyo'ing so much. Thyroid being inactive doesn't help much either as my sister has just found out, she has just been diagnosed with the same problem. 

Its time to go do dishes and organise myself for work tomorrow….