With all thats been happening in the last 12 months I sometimes wonder how I am still standing. Its been tough, bloody tough…
A terminal diagnosis and four family deaths…life is pretty damn sux sometimes.
My health has suffered badly in these 12 months…I have gained so much weight and I am uncomfortable. I hate looking in the mirror and seeing myself, I look and feel disgusting. No-one but myself to blame, I know that…I have eaten everyone of those emotions I have felt in the last 12 months. Its not as if I haven't tried to control myself, I have. I have tried to focus on controlling my diet…but something else happens and away I go again…chomp chomp chomp…
Now how do I stop it….how do I break the habit again, where do I find the strength to start all over again??? I am still a member of the online weight loss group, I did weigh in on Friday and report a gain….but since then I have had mother in laws funeral and the wake, and a weekend of family here.
Getting towards midnight here, work again tomorrow, but I can't sleep. I have been having trouble sleeping for a while, more so since I lost my Mum. My head is going around and around in circles…. I wish life was just a little bit simpler.
Tonight, unexpectedly we had to say goodbye to Ted's mum…..she would have been 91 this year. She was very frail and crippled with arthritis but we did expect to have her with us a little longer. But tonight she left us. Sleep peacefully Mum xx
You can continue the natter you were having with my mum now.
I received this gorgeous book from my cousin the other day in the mail. Its full of photo's of Mum with me and my family, what a beautiful memory book it is. I just sat down and cried, Sue made up one for my brother and sister as well, what a beautiful gesture that I and they will treasure forever.
I will catch up with my cousin next week and she'll be getting the biggest cuddle from me. She messaged me today and said she'll make up one for my kids too if they want one and I know Kylee does so I'll organise some pics for her.
I am going down to Manjimup tomorrow to catch up with my sister, we still have a few things to sort out, one of them being a headstone for Mum. It is going to be horrible going down there and not being able to go to Mum's…someone is already in her rented unit. Being Mother's Day on Sunday, tomorrow will give me a chance to go to Mum's grave and leave her some flowers.
Sunday will be spent up at Ted's mum's, we are going to take a plate up to share. All being us and Ted's brothers and family.
Went down to catch up cuppa with Tanya on Thursday. She is struggling on, misses Paul daily. She has finished her Aged Care course and is in the process of sending out resume's.
I rejoined the online weight loss challenge group I was in. Last challenge I was in the top 5 losers till I got back from our cruise. Then I got that chill that turned into bronchial asthma and ended up being 1.8 above the weight I started the challenge.
Sooooo here I go again. The challenge is great, its something to focus on other than my misery. A loss of 800g this week, happy with that.
Right, I off to get ready for tomorrow. Starting the day with a "jabber walk" with my buddy IF its not raining in the morning. Was pelting down earlier tonight and its still raining now. A huge front is meant to cross the coast tonight and the rain now is just the start of it so I may not be walking.
Happy Mother's Day to all you Mum's, hope you have a wonderful day.
