With all thats been happening in the last 12 months I sometimes wonder how I am still standing. Its been tough, bloody tough…
A terminal diagnosis and four family deaths…life is pretty damn sux sometimes.
My health has suffered badly in these 12 months…I have gained so much weight and I am uncomfortable. I hate looking in the mirror and seeing myself, I look and feel disgusting. No-one but myself to blame, I know that…I have eaten everyone of those emotions I have felt in the last 12 months. Its not as if I haven't tried to control myself, I have. I have tried to focus on controlling my diet…but something else happens and away I go again…chomp chomp chomp…
Now how do I stop it….how do I break the habit again, where do I find the strength to start all over again??? I am still a member of the online weight loss group, I did weigh in on Friday and report a gain….but since then I have had mother in laws funeral and the wake, and a weekend of family here.
Getting towards midnight here, work again tomorrow, but I can't sleep. I have been having trouble sleeping for a while, more so since I lost my Mum. My head is going around and around in circles…. I wish life was just a little bit simpler.
You have had a shocking 12 months... don't be too hard on yourself. I havent had a bad 12 months but still cant get my eating under control! We will get there. Take care Jen!
ReplyDeleteAwww honey, as Wannabe said, you have to be kind to yourself. You have had a totally shit year. Stop trying so hard to diet, clearly your head is not in the right space to be doing it right now. Hang in there, and at some point you will feel it is the right time to look after yourself again. I am waiting till we are moved and then I will start again. As long as we are breathing, we can start again. {{{hugs}}}
ReplyDeleteYou have had a bad stretch of things. As for getting control? One day at a time. Honor those you have lost by taking care of yourself!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHow much stress can a person have, you have had a rough 12 months, take some time to grieve all those losses of loved ones. When the time is right, it will all start happening again. Sending lots of hugs xx
ReplyDelete