Battling on

 

Last few weeks I have been battling emotions. 

5 years ago on the 10th we lost Paul to that evil disease cancer. He was 45. Too young to leave us. I have battled this week, feeling the hopelessness and despair of him being so sick and not being able to do anything...we all have.

Anyways, that day has past. I went up to his grave and sat and talked, and cried and talked some more. Even drank a beer with him...I left half for him 😊

It doesn’t help that people come up and say how’s hubby and everyone coping. I say, the same as me, we struggle. Ohh but why do you struggle, he wasn’t your son..☹️😢. Yes, really...they did and do say that. Yes, he was was my stepson, I didn’t carry him in my womb for the nine months BUT I did carry him in my heart for the 35 plus years that he was my #1 son. I also had to endure the same heartless when Rosemary was killed in 1996. There are some very heartless people around.

Ted and I made a vow when we got together that there would be no his, mine or ours kids in our family. They would all be ours!! And I’m very proud to say that that’s how it was. There was never my half brother/sister or step brother it was always my brother/sister. They all had a close bond. 

Anyways, moving on...