Really really missing Mum lately. Actually the last few weeks. Could be that my sister married her long time partner and us siblings would be all together again....
Could be that I am struggling with my weight again. Getting sore back and aches and pains, constantly waking up in the morning with my back all stiff and me struggling to move. Weight is yo-yo'ing, last week I gained, the week before I lost. Sometimes I really just wonder why I bother, BUT I know if I don't I will balloon again and I don't ever want to get up into 3 figure numbers again.
And I know Mum would not be happy with me. She was always on my back about my weight....always. She knew how I struggled with my thyroid and how upset I would get about it. Many a time I cried to her that I wished I had her metabolism...she was tiny and never gained weight.
Yesterday at work I was having a real down day. Was really missing mum and was wishing that I could just pick up my phone and ring her. I could have done with one of our regular natters. Then in front of me was a feather, and I knew once again Mum was close by and was comforting me. The day of her funeral as Mums coffin was lowered I was crying and looking up. Up above her grave a bird was flying around...it had to be Mum saying she was free. And every time I have visited her grave a bird has been there in the trees or sitting on her gravestone. Over time since Mum has passed I have found feathers in some very unusual spots, they are I believe from Mum.
My sister has a night flower that belonged to Mum. It had never flowered until Mum died. It flowered just after Mum passed. And it flowered last Saturday when she got married. I can tell you these things do bring comfort to us both.
Tears are flowing, its lovely to remember but the ache of missing her is always there.
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