Starting again…..

……for what seems like the millionth time I am trying to lose weight again….at least I can say I ain't no quitter.

I have joined a online challenge….starting on the 1st February and it finishes on the 1st May. We pay $20 to join for the 3 months….and at end of the 3 months the top 5 "losers" have the $'s that we have paid in divided out as their "prize" money.
I was introduced to the group by my great friend Rach, she is inspiring me at the moment with her commitment to her health and weight loss. She has lost 9 kilo's so far, but despite a few downs and holidays she has managed to keep plugging away at it.  The group have been welcoming so I have paid my $20 and ready for the start of the challenge. I so can do this. Plus it gives me 9 weeks to get my shit together and lose a few kilo's before we sail out on our cruise…AND also will give me the added challenge of using the walking track on the boat and watching my food intake. 
Have my 60th birthday which we are celebrating at the end of February…so thats another challenge thrown in….but hey I am ready for this….

I have been in a total funk about my weight and myself…. so this is just what I need. Will focus my energy on this "making changes" and see what it brings.

The Lion King

My girlfriend and I went to The Lion King on Sunday.
We made a day of it…I drove from here to hers, a 40 minute drive and from hers we drove to the The Dome in Perth where the theatre production was held.
On arrival there we had a wander through the casino, had a much needed cuppa then walked to the train station and went into the city centre. A wander through Myers, David Jones, and a few other stores we don't have in our town, lunch at cafe in the mall before shop browsing again.
Decided a 4pm to catch the train back where we had a snack and another cuppa before heading over to the theatre.
Found our seats then sat back and we were enthralled from the beginning to the end….what a production. If I could afford it I would go back and watch it all again tomorrow.
Robyn drove us back to hers and because I wasn't tired I drove home (I had packed a overnight bag in case I was too tired).
Pic was taken just before we entered the show. Loved my dress…just wish I loved myself. I have since Paul's diagnosis and passing have let myself go, I have eaten like there is no tomorrow and I look terrible.
10 weeks before we head off on our cruise so a good friend has invited me to join a online challenge with some other people. We weigh in weekly, maybe its what I need. Hoping I can find me again.
I know a lot of what I am feeling is grief, my Dr has been wonderful knowing I don't want to go on antidepressants he has recommended a calmative tablet and so I am giving that a go.
Number 3 son has a few issues going on at the moment too…which are worrying me. His eldest daughter has been giving her mother some problems and she asked Shawn to have Skye for a week or so to give her a break. Skye hasn't been getting on with her mum's partner, well she hasn't from the beginning….but now it turns out he has been cruel to Skye and maybe to the others. Skye refuses to go home. Child protection has been made aware of the fact by Shawn. He may even be given his other daughter as she wants to be with him too.
Shawn is a great Dad, he loves his kids….but I don't think he is aware of how much time and effort he has to put into parenting full time, or the cost involved. And can he give up his recreational drugs, his single lifestyle permanently to become a full time parent?? Time will tell. I hope he can but I really can't see it happening, he has to change his attitude and way of life big time to do so,,,hope he can prove me wrong.

Birthdays

Its your birthday, the first one since you left us…..missing you so much Paul…

Birthdays..

Its a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my sonshine…42 today. Loves you son. 

Simon lives a 45 minute drive away, he was on house duties today with his kids as Trace had to work….and so did I this morning…..but spent my breakfast break on the phone yakking to him.

Adrift...

L

In my case I think the elastic has been stretched to the max....no way is it because I have lost weight.
I have lost my way well and truly and my eating is out of control.
My WW's has run out and I have cancelled it till I am in the right head space.
Christmas, family and friends visiting, has seen me lose my battle to lose some weight.....but I ain't a quitter so I'll be giving it another go….when I can get my head in the right space again..
Cruise is booked....I have about 12 weeks to get my head into some sort weight loss mode....nothing is fitting, none of last year cruise clothes fit...
And also throw my 60th birthday into the mix as well....that's in 6 or 7 weeks and Ted wants us to have a party...ohhhhh heck I so need to get ME sorted out. A doctor visit next week might help....I just feel adrift..

My bright light over Christmas and New Year was William and his mummy and daddy. 

We had a wee birthday party for his 2nd birthday. He had a fantastic day, playing on his water slide and eating junk food. At bedtime he was worn out and sick....but luckily after he threw up, we showered him again and he slept a solid 12 hours.

I will be counting down to my birthday as thats when I will see him again…and hopefully by then I won't be feeling so adrift...