Sometimes I wonder how much I should write on here...but I figure heck its my blog, its my feelings and sometimes if I don't write down my feelings I would go absolutely spare!! And today has been one of those days where the day has gone from good to bad, too bloody awful, tearful, end of tether then back again... I need my friend Wendy..the good little witch with her magic wand to work some magic and make things right.
The day started fine with a great sleep in and a cuppa bought to me in bed by hubby. Got up and washed the car, had a lovely chat with Berrie on the phone then went on into town to catch up with my son, to cuddle little Skye and bubby Jaydene. Son is so troubled, stressed out and not in a good mood at all. Silly him is still doing drugs (cannabis) and I just can't make him realise how much more agitated and moody it makes him. That family has enough troubles without him carrying on like this! They were at the Salvation army crisis care house but moved out last night to a friends house. I went there this morning when I found out they had moved and I was in tears....the unit is FILTHY...Its no place for my little girls, but what can I do??? They can't come here, son and hubby don't get on, hubby won't forgive him after a very nasty and unforgiving argument and if I could help them and let them stay they get taken off the Homeswest priotity list. And they are on the bottom of that list because they own a vechile and son has work..so that means he is not in desperate need. They have been trying for months now to get a rental...even a caravan, but the housing shortage here is severe..there are so many homeless people, it is not good at all. I am in turmoil, I feel as thou I have let them down as I can't help them, I know the system has let them down !!
Just wish I could get throu to son, or someone could. Kylee tried while she was here, they used to be so close, but he wouldn't listen to her either. Why can't he remember how happy, relaxed and healthy he was after he rehabilated 18 months or so ago??? Why can't he remember all the lessons he learnt there?? Why did he have to use again...whyyyyyy?? So many whys, and so few answers...don't think son can answer them either.
I wish my Dad or brother were still around...I could talk to them about anything and everything and days like these I wish they were still here. I have other friends I know I can talk too, I know I am not alone, but I don't like to burden them with this.. writing it all down like this does help. Ohhhhhh I wish, I wish...
I know this thou....I HATE DRUGS.....
Welllllllll I have just have come back from a long walk, it felt good to just chill out and let the world go by. Now its dinner time...a tuna bake, a early night where I hope I can get some sleep...then its off out fishing tomorrow...eeeeeeeek better go get out my seasick pills and leave them where I can see them to take with my coffee in the morning...
Have had a dose of the lurgy....thanks Rae, must have got it when I visited your blog and gave you a get well hug !!! Didn't want it thou....but seem to be over the worst of it all now. Today for the first time this week...I walked, yayyyyyy... it felt good to be out again. If nothing else the lurgy has kept me really focused and on track .... who feels like eating when your're sick and can't keep anything down anyways?? But since recovering I seem to have found my wagon and climbed back on ready to roll onwards and downwards yet again!!! Want to see if somehow I can get over this fear of goal that I seem to have and get down there and stay there.....
