about my troubled son. Things are just not getting any better, actually getting a lot worse I think. Last night Hannah had to take another 24 hour restraining order against him, this is the second one now, last one was just before Christmas, as his anger is starting to take over and domestic voilence is starting to become an issue. Hannah is now at least half way throu her pregnancy...know one knows for sure how far she is, not even herself as it was an accident and totally unplanned and she hasn't been to a Dr yet!! Says she is too scared, really I can understand that with Jaydene just 12 month old and Shawn the way he is!! Its about now he is allowed back into his house and Hannah is going to tell him no more chances, either get some sort of help or get out and leave her and the girls alone, she can't cope with him this way any more. I support her fully there, how she has coped up till now I have no idea. Shawn has in the last year been getting slowly getting worse. But what way is he going to go with that ultimatium? Are things going to get better or worse? Is he going to try and get some help of some sort, any sort? My stomache is all churned up, I just can't stop all the thoughts in my head with all the what ifs, hows and wonderings....I am scared stiff about what is going to become of him. My husband can't understand how I really feel, not that he doesn't care, butI just feel so hopeless as thou I haven't done enough, scared that he is going to harm himself or someone else.......
Sorry....just had to try and get some of this outta my head....
This must be so awful for you and those involved.... my heart goes out to you sweetie. Try and be there for both of them, and try and get that daughter-in-law to go to the doctor! All this stress could be affecting her unborn baby.... maybe your son needs to see a professional as well for his anger issues?
ReplyDeleteJen, I so feel for you. We've been through so much with our kids you wonder how much more you can take. My boy went through a stage where he tormented me with suicide on a regular basis to get what he wanted. As a mum we are soft and very susceptible to these kind of threats. It's cruel and unwarranted. What's also unfair is that you can't do too much because of their "rights". In the end I tricked my boy into going to the doctor under the premise that he had to get a medical certificate not to go to work. I told the Doctor his stomach pains might be the result of drinking mineral turps. That's when it got taken out of my hands and he got the care and the counselling he needed. I have to say he has turned his life around and is very respectful now towards me and Col.
ReplyDeleteMy heart really does go out to you Jen. All I can say is be strong. You and hubby stand together and you will get through it. His behaviour is something that can't be condoned.
Big hugs xxx
I emphasise with you here Jen .... having the troubled daughter I have and the fear of what will happen to her ... no answers until he admits he has a problem and seeks help unfortunately.... all you can do is try and stay strong and be there ...... hope you DIL goes to see a Dr soon .....My thoughts and prayers are with you all xx
ReplyDeleteOh jen..my heart goes out to you...and to hannah and the littlies too...and as Em said he needs to actually admit to the problem i just hope that hannah can make him understnad she means it..and he uses that to get himself well....with men they dont understnad a mothers pain and feeling of failure when they cant do a darn thing to change a situation with a child no matter their age....men think ahhh just cut him loose..not so easy for a mum...so i feel for you....i want you to know i am here for you anytime my friend...you are all in my thoughts
ReplyDeletewith love
berrie xxx
Really do feel for you, you must feel so helpless. Also men - I sometimes think it's not that they dont' understand, they dont' seem to like talking about it.
ReplyDeleteMaybe if Hannah does go down the road she is thinking - no more chances, fingers crossed it may be what he needs.
Hang in there and hugs.
Anne
Oh Jen I hate how he upsets you like this... It just isn't fair on you and the rest of the family! Maybe the ultimatium will be the best thing and he might actually start to seek help and try and turn his life around...
ReplyDeleteI hope you are ok and I am thinking of you xxxx
I'm so sorry to hear about your son. I can understand how you feel. You can't do any more than you are doing already though. Just take care of yourself. Being the caring Mum that you are, you will always be there when he needs you and when your DIL needs you. They are adults now and must somehow help themselves too.
ReplyDeleteOh Jen - what an awful situation - I feel so much for you and honestly don't know what the answer is in all this. But Hannah is so fortunate to have you helping her through all this and you are a wonderful caring mother and grandmother - which of course is why all this is just tearing you apart. Thinking of you and wishing there were some magic words....Love Z xx
ReplyDeleteHope he sorts himself out soon, and that Hannah sees someone,dr or hospital sooner rather than later,
ReplyDeleteMiss Lillyan was almost 3 weeks over it can cause some issues if not kept an eye on