Struggling

 Need to set the reset button.......

Ohhh why....did I...??
Today was just one of those days...
Tomorrow morning I press the reset button yet again....surely I will get my motivation back again.
I thought rejoining ww again I would be able to do it...paying out my hard earned money once a month for a year would help...but so far not!! 
I just have to do it...how do I get my mindset again. I am reading my old blogs, going back to when I did it last time, hoping something just "clicks" 

Weigh in day....

 Weigh in day today.....a 200g loss.
Hey, I'll take that even if its over 10 days as I mucked up big time on the weekend.

I am just wondering if I will ever learn to NOT eat my emotions...its damn hard not too sometimes. This time I managed to pull myself together, I just reminded myself that this journey is NEVER easy and hey I have a ww contract for 12 months so I can't give in.

Life does get in the way sometimes....gee I have learnt that over the years, especially over the last 3 years. Grief still rears its ugly head every now and then and I succumb to it. My brother I lost in 1979, 40 years next year we have lived without him....I still cry for him.

This week my promise to myself is to track and plan. I have a few challenges to face. This weekend is one of them. Since Shawn's 2 girls have gone into care this last time they have been giving their foster carer a real hard time. We have agreed to be respite carers every 2nd weekend and this weekend we have them all weekend.  I know they are going to try it on with me....they have a rude awakening coming....they are going to abide by some rules and they are not going to like it. Their carer loves the girls, she really does, but of course all they want to do is go home to their Mum. Their mum is not a fit mum, but of course the kids don't think that.....and they think the poor they act up and make life difficult for everyone the quicker they will be sent home to her. 

So this weekend.....its track, plan and keep myself focused. 

Weather hopefully this weekend will be fine. Of late all it has done is rain, rain and rain some more.  It has been so cold and our fire has been going constantly. 

Bring on Spring. 

A down mood day

Woke up this morning in a real down mood.....sooooo what do I do...I eat.
And then I eat more...and to see if my mood improves I eat more still....

Now its after midnight and what am I doing. I am writing this as I can't stop myself from farting....my stomach hurts, I feel sick....all coz I have eaten CRAP!!

Why do I do this to myself?? I should know by now that food is not going to make me feel better...espesially the crap food like I have eaten today. 

I really want to lose this excess weight, I really want to enjoy the weight loss journey, weight watchers is so easy now, its easy to follow so why does one "feeling down" day make me lose the plot? 

Guess tomorrow (or should I say today as it is after midnight) is another day....

Girls day out...

 A lovely day out with our little Miss Summer Bug

 Me and my besties, and me showing my holiday belly. Think this will be my before pic. I look like a little round beach ball.

 Our precious little girl.

Robyn loves her too....

Girls day out tomorrow.

Have my family on weight watchers duty....no junk is to be stored in my kitchen fridge. There are fridges out on the patio...if they want to have treats they are stored out there. Shawn is the sweet tooth in the family, Ted not so much. I still keep biscuits, muesli bars and other treats in the pantry mainly for the grandies, and I keep a few options for myself in there as well...not denying myself at all, this time slow and steady, I'm in for the long haul. 
Last night was weigh in....800 grams gone.
No exercise other than what I do at work. Must bring more into my day asap as I know I need it for weight loss...and for me, I been missing my walks. Sunday morning I have one planned with my jabber buddy. 

Girls day out tomorrow....looking forward to that. Kylee and I are driving to Mandurah to meet up with my besties. One is coming down from Perth..the other lives near Mandurah. Not sure who they looking forward to seeing more, me or little Miss Summer... lol 

First weigh in

Last night was my first weigh in.....a gain of 400grams BUT I did expect it.  (My scales before I left for work that morning showed a loss) Weigh in was between 5 and 5.30pm and I worked from 10am to 5 pm so had to rush from work as soon as I finished to make it in time. After a day of being on my feet all day I knew my weight would be up. It always is. This meeting is the only one that fits in with my work roster at the moment. I have 2 other meetings, 1 x evening and 1 x day one to choose from as well so I will go to which ever one suits my roster. Anyways the first week is done and dusted. 

I had a busy weekend.

Babysat these two on Friday night.....My first time with Summer overnight....and guess what I was up and out of bed before they woke up!!  Miss Summer was a good little girl and slept through for me.....

Saturday Simon came down with his two boys....they stayed overnight....so the house was full. 
Kylee and Garry stayed to catch up with them and have dinner so we ended up having a bbq dinner...a great catch up. Its great to get the kids together like that. 

Anyways time to go start dinner....its been a busy day at work so it will be a quick and easy one....

Back to Weight Watchers...

 Tonight was my first night back at Weight Watchers.....5pm is the only time I can fit in with my work hours....but so be it!! 
I have gained just over 8 kilo's since my last weigh in.....when I go on holidays I holiday!!
I drink which I don't very often do at home.....and the true reason for the gain methinks was the drinking...AND all the carbs I ate. Leading up to the holiday I cut out 95% of all carbs, allowed myself very very little. Not always a good thing to do especially when you reintroduce them in mega portions like I did...BUT so be it, I did expect it.
Now I am back into it. I have joined up for 12 months....hopefully with all the ups and downs in any ww journey I will get my act together and achieve my goal...its been a long time since I was there.  I was happy on my holiday...my weight held me back only a few times and I knew sooner rather than later I needed to do something. 

I have a lot of aches and pains....80% I am sure are related to my weight...time is up, I am going to do this....I have to give it a damn good go this time around. 

I have this little cutie above to run round after soon.....and the big 4 year old below to keep up with...I struggle to do that some days. I want to fit on the slides with him, climb onto the trampoline and jump....and push him on his bike, go for rides with him...