Grief…

 Grief can affect us in so many ways. Does it go away?? I don’t think so, the pain eases but it doesn’t ever go away. And it doesn’t need much for it to return, a song, a photo, a memory or a date will bring it back in waves.

The last few months with my son relapsing and falling back into drugs stirred up many buried memories and I grieved. I grieved for the son I had and I thought I’d lost again. I’d lost him for many years once before. Drugs turn him into a completely different person, a person I didn’t like, a person I didn’t raise him to be. Thankfully this time around he came out of it quickly, something I did not expect. 

Yesterday was my and hubby’s anniversary, 44 years together. Not bad for a relationship that many said would never last 😍. Yesterday we also grieved for the loss of our Paul as yesterday 10 years ago he told us he had terminal cancer. 

All the grief I have buried every now and then raises its head. Sometimes I can just weep and remember the good times, others the emotions overflow and I try unsuccessfully to not let them over power me. I get insomnia, I over eat, I get emotional and shut myself off just to name a few things. 

Life is not easy and it is ohhh so short. Today I am trying to embrace it. I have been scrapbooking and laughing and enjoying some lovely memories. I also rang my superannuation fund and closed off my account. I am no longer in paid employment and not receiving any wages. Hopefully I’m over the worst of the cataract surgery I’ve just had and ready to do it on the 2nd eye in a few weeks. Then heal from both, see the eye surgeon and be signed off….see the optician see if I need glasses…..then fingers crossed we can go away for a few weeks. 

I’d love to go for a cruise, love cruise ships and sailing the seas. 

Anyways….lets see what happens. 

Weigh in day, a sts.  I’ve cancelled ww, I’m not using the app anymore. Not many of the people I interacted with on there are there anymore. I’m going it alone again for awhile. See what happens. 

Catch you next time. 

Where to start….

 Ok…I finished up last blog with Shawn going back to work with dirty hands. After a few scrubbings they did come clean then he was sent for a fit for work assessment and urinalysis. He did the work assessment but didn’t do the urinalysis till 2 days later. Work accused him of trying to get out of the test to give him time to clear the system….as the test came back negative. Unbeknown to me he had been clean from for a few days. He also rang me and asked if he could home as he was drug free and couldn’t live the life he was living anymore. We agreed, and apart from him eating us out of house and home all is going well. But he also came home with the flu. I was booked in for cataract surgery later that week so I bought him some cold and flu meds including nasal inhalers and cough lollies. 

Anyways work told him he had to have a work clearance and another urinalysis before he could start his shifts. Done that on the day but that one came back positive. We believe it was the cold and flu meds which gave a false reading. A clinical nurse we spoke to agreed, but his work has dismissed him as he has broken their code of conduct. We’ve had a meeting with them but they don’t believe us. Instant dismissal. 

So son is home, clean from drugs and back to his normal self and now also jobless. 

So it’s been a roller coaster ride these past few weeks. Emotions have been all over the place. Weight has been put on but now my eye is healing from the cataract surgery, son is healthy again. Hand is healing ok, had another hand therapy session yesterday, the therapist was happy with progress…..so maybe, just maybe I can get my shit together and get myself back on track. Ughhhhhhh I need too, my clothes are tight.  I am now home full time as well as I have fully resigned, I no longer do any paid work. 

Right, till next time ….. 

Just a quick one..

 

Not a lot to say, it hasn’t been a good week. No weigh in as I’ve not been good. Just can’t keep it together. 

Had hand therapy last week, given exercises to do and a brace to wear on my hand at night. Worn the brace once and ended up throwing it across the bedroom at 1am….my hand was in agony. Not wearing it again!! Exercises are ok, I’m managing them. Massaging the scar tissue on my palm and that I can see is working. It’s itchy as well so it’s healing. Little finger is still swollen, hopefully in time the swelling will go down. Therapist gave me some tape to tape the finger and I do that all day. 

Son not going to improve. Has no interest in giving up the lifestyle he is living atm.  He went back to work today but got sent home because he camped out the night before and was dirty. You can’t work with meat with dirty hands. He is having a shower here tonight so hopefully he will be clean in the morning.  

Gotta go. Dishes to be done, and kitchen tidy up. I’ve got work in the morning.

Missing my buddy…

 

First up….the pic above is kids that represented the grandies school in the Interschool sports day recently. A small group isn’t it? Their school is small, 175 students from kindergarten to year 6.  The above competed against 5 other “smaller” schools ( each of them averaging 300 to 500 students) in the locality and amazingly came home with 2 age champions plus a shield for their sizzling performance on the day. They did amazing for such a tiny school. William is in the pic, he competed in high jump, hop skip and jump, and the year 6 100 metre relay which blitzed the field. 

They did amazing. So proud of them. 

My finger is healing very well. Have some nerve soreness happening atm but from what my surgeon tells me it is expected and occupational therapy will help with that. I start that on Wednesday. 

I had my pre-admission for my cataract surgery on my right eye today. That’s rapidly approaching, have the op on 4th June, and the left eye on 2nd July.  Hopefully that will be the end of surgeries for awhile. After all the follow up appointments I hope we can plan a long weekend getaway. Only thing is with son not living here there is no one to look after the cat, ducks and chooks.  Yeah son still living “homeless” with his druggie “mate”. Still doing drugs, still spending his wage (he is on annual leave atm and receiving holiday pay) in 2 days. He had a 1,000 dollars for the week and spent that all in two days. That included his loan payment of $125.00. Then had the nerve to ask me for money. No way. Still no angry he chooses this life. 

I’m missing my bestie, my jabber buddy. She and her hubby have just finished 2 weeks in Italy and now are in Greece, spending 2 weeks there too.  I’ve done no real walking since she’s left. Admittedly I’d my op recovery but still I could get out and move my butt. I just can’t be bothered. I’ve spent some time out in the garden last few days and done some repotting of my succulents.  Guess that’s moving 😳😘  

Anyway weigh in day…..and after a pretty good week of NO chocolate and eating proper portioned meals I managed a small loss….. remembering I didn’t weigh last week after a week long binge session. 

Below is Smudge. Our cat. Our very expensive cat. Friday night she was in a lot of distress and acting like she had something stuck in her throat. A quick trip up to the vet found she had a temp and an inflammation of the throat. A needle to settle down the inflammation, some antibiotics and some inflammatories and a few hundred dollar bill we were sent home. 💵  We are very lucky with our vet Dr Rob, he’s a big man, with huge but gentle hands. I had a follow up phone call today to check up on her. She’s nearly back to normal. I’m not her most favourite person atm as I’m the one that makes her take her medicine 💊 💊 

It’s work for me tomorrow morning, so time to wind up for the night and head to bed. Busy day ahead as I have appointments in the afternoon, and as Mum works tomorrow afternoon will be taking Miss Summer to her dance classes. 

My get up and go…..

 

For the past few weeks my get up and go has GONE. I just feel so blah, have no motivation at all. I feel lost and just can’t be bothered.

I know some of it is recovering from hand op, that has restricted any exercise. No mojo anyways. Now that I have had bandage off, stitches out and have been cleared to work light duties and to go walking at a moderate pace with no exerting myself I need to find some. Also got some occupational therapy to start attending next week. Then I think, gee it’s only a few weeks then I have my first eye surgery done. 

I can’t sit and mope around indulging in treats most of the day reading like I have done.  I did have a few good days where I ate sensibly, it hasn’t been all bad but the chocolate finds its way back. I was hoping to get some scrapbooking done but I haven’t even been in to get photos printed. I have so many pages that need doing. Want to get an album done of our big trip we did last year before I forget where we actually went…. 🤦‍♀️😳

I know this relapse of my son has really thrown me. I still can’t believe he’s gone and done this. I did ask him when he came home last week to get his fishing drone if he was going to go back to work (he’s on annual leave atm) and get his life on track. He said he was. But then Kylee saw him down the beach a day later “so spaced out” I just can’t believe that he could throw away the life he had to go live like he is for the sake of a drug. Really I shake my head. I just can’t believe that he could do this to himself (and us) after living that life so many years beforehand, surely he must remember how hard it was. 

Mother’s Day yesterday. Simon and Kylee and kids came out and spent half the day with me. Some yummy chocolates were given and eaten too. Even troublesome one rang and wished me Happy Mothers Day. 

These two when they get together usually always end up wrestling on the lawn…can’t help themselves. 

Right…..time to go start dinner.

BTW…. no weigh in. I don’t want to know. 

Recovery

 Well I knew my finger was going to be sore, BUT I honestly didn’t think it was going to be as bad as it has been. Today is the first day without some prescribed drugs. Today it’s just been uncomfortable. I just want this bandage off, honestly it’s a pain, but it has to stay on till I see the surgeon and that’s still 4 days way. It’s going to be embarrassing, the bandage, it’s so “grotty” already. I’ve tried to be independent and do things myself by using my thumb on that hand to hold things but yeahhhh…😘😳🤦‍♀️ I did put a sock on over it, but it felt too tight so I took it off. 

Today is the first day in over a week I think that I’ve eaten sensibly. Chocolate has been a daily “treat” BUT it had to end sometime and I made today the day. 

Anyways time to see if I can get some sleep 😴 

Have had op

 

Have had op, all apparently went well. 

Only day surgery so I was home a few hours after op.

I’m recovering ok, not in much pain. 

Weigh in…

Weigh in day again…. It’s been 2 weeks since I’ve weighed. Life hasn’t been easy, pretty darn stressful actually, but I think I’m starting to come to terms with all that’s happening atm. Anyways I’m up a kilo from last weigh….

This week I’ve been really good, ate sensibly, walked daily….then today slowly but surely I’ve eaten every Easter egg in the house…….

Omg why why ?? 

All gone now, tomorrow back on track. I’ve a week before my finger op and I want a bit more weight off…

Son has another Drs appointment tomorrow for another medically unfit to work certificate. While he is living the lifestyle he is it will stay that way. He’s lucky his has the leave accumulated.  Anyway enough about him, thinking about what he is doing to himself makes me so angry. 

Kylee took her kids camping Saturday night and came home Sunday for an Easter egg hunt. The kids had a ball….actually so did I hiding them all. 

They were meant to go to their Dads this coming weekend but he’s going to be busy so she has just booked another camping trip away next weekend before school starts. 

Nothing much happening. Starting to get a bit nervous about the op, but I’ll be glad to have the finger fixed. 

It’s late, time for dishes to de done, kitchen put back to normal and ready for morning. I have a work tomorrow, an early morning start. 

I’ll post next week sometime. 

No weigh in.

 Well, so much for trying to lose weight for my surgery for my finger operation. I was hoping to lose 5k…pfffft not happening. Why do I stress eat? No willpower at all….  Once I start eating the “junk” I can’t seem to stop. 

I had a phone pre admission appointment today. My weight was mentioned that I had recorded when I saw surgeon but I had to change that today. Ughhhhh embarrassing much.  

I’m going to dig deep for the next 2 weeks and see what I can do. Op is the 29th 

I’ve hardly seen son. He finally did see a Dr and get his foot seen too and get medical certificate for time off work. Think he starts again Wednesday. I know he did cancel a follow up appointment and he’s not filled his prescription for antibiotics 😞😳🤷🏼‍♀️

His problem not mine. But I do worry none the less.

ANOTHER big worry is my sister. Last week her heart went out of rhythm again and she ended up being bought up from her hometown to the hospital here. Thankfully it wasn’t as bad as last time but they had to make her defibrillator more sensitive and do a cardioversion on her. Her hubby rang me distraught to say she was being bought up my ambulance. He is not a well man so couldn’t travel up. Anyways all got sorted during the week and I drove her home over the weekend. Fingers crossed all stays well now..,,.don’t think I could handle too much more stress.

No weigh this morning as I left here at 5 am to go watch my grandies, their mum started work 5.15am and we didn’t want to wake them too early. As it was I had to wake them so I could get to work on time. Anyways had a quick look at scales when I finished and wasn’t good 🙇‍♀️🤦‍♀️  This afternoon I’ve written out menus for the week, shopped and hopefully I can get myself sorted out again. 

Time to start dinner prep….catch you next week. 

 

This week

 Will start off with the kids sports day. Wednesday was jump day, Friday was faction sports. A fantastic few days, but Friday was so cold and windy. Kids did great despite the horrid weather. Kids just don’t seem to feel the cold 😳 I can tell you I did, I had a skivvie, T shirt, rain jacket and fleece jacket on and still shivered. The wind was bitterly cold. The kids faction won which topped off the day nicely. Their Dad came down and took them out for a late lunch before he left which was great. 

Things are not going well with son. This week he has attended work one day, and I don’t think he’s there again today. He’s split his foot open was his excuse but he could still go fishing. He needed a medical certificate for clearance to work, couldn’t get a face to face appointment so made a phone consultation. They didn’t ring him he said, he waited 20 minutes for the call then turned his phone off 😞😕

Saturday morning he was going to work but driving there he said he was dazzled by lightning and ran off the road….the vechile is a mess. How he survived I don’t know. No transport now, or bed as vehicle had a roof top tent on that he was sleeping in. Now he has nothing. Won’t have a job soon I’m thinking if he keeps not going. His daughter who lives with us works in the same area and could take him…actually was meant to have this morning. Well that was the plan…. Be next to no wages this week, there goes the loan payment. 😕🤷🏼‍♀️

 

Weigh in day

 And after a week of high emotions which included lots of chocolate the scales showed me a gain of “only” 400grams. I expected a hell of a lot more than that. Guess exercising 6 days of the week helped there. 

Son, well he still using, still drinking, still living out of his car. Wants to throw his job in and head up north. Says he can get another job 😳 Where or how I don’t know. He has loan repayments for next 4 years as well. He has no qualifications or trade, has a criminal history so wouldn’t get police clearance. All I can see is disaster ahead and him losing everything that he has worked so hard for. Hubby really not impressed with his “stupidity” as he calls it. No, nor am I. He doesn’t want anything to do with him. I think it’s stupidly too, but I want everything to go back to what it was. But that’s not going to happen because he doesn’t want it too. I know he spiralling down hill and not a thing I can do. My heart breaks 💔

The family we were…..

Sister hasn’t seen him, I don’t know if brother knows what’s happening, the little ones are missing him. 

Damn….

 

 Weigh in day….a sts today. Don’t know why as I walked everyday, tracked everything and I believe ate well. But it what it is. 

Went to the pool this morning and water walked. I so enjoyed that. My walking buddy is away for a week and this week is going to HOT 🥵 so early pool days for me all this week. 

Son messaged me today. Could I help him out with food till payday he asked? Yeah I suppose was my response. He called around this afternoon and I said what happened to your money this week? Wellllllllllll that went down like a lead balloon, he raised his voice to me and stormed out ranting.  I don’t know how to handle the situation this time. I don’t want to see him go down the same path he did last time. He spent his weeks wages in two days again…and asked for money for fuel. We can’t do that, in the long run it’s not helping him and he’ll come to rely on us and expect us to help him, even though we’ve told him we can’t. 

Hubby doesn’t want to help him at all, he so angry and disappointed that he has gone and done this to himself. I’m so upset and stressed out and in total shock….and want to help him but know he’s only going to take advantage of it. He decided to do this to himself. He decided to keep using and move out. 

It’s all breaking my heart. 💔

Tonight I want food, I want chocolate. And I’ve given in to it. 

 

Weigh in day

 Good news for me, I did not stress eat whilst all the ‘dramas’ with son was/is going on. Weigh in this morning showed a 800g loss ☺️

And on son he came home for a bit yesterday. He sounded and acted normal….but when you on a ‘downer’ on amphetamines apparently you do. Anyways he grabbed some clothes and said he wasn’t staying. He said  he felt too ‘closed in’ here and he needed to be gone, somewhere where he didn’t feel closed in and lonely. Gave him a bit of food, told him he was welcome here anytime as long as he was drug free as we refuse to go through what we went through with him last time. He said he understood that but this time was a ‘one off’   Do I believe that…no way 🙅🏼‍♀️

His friend living in his camper has been told to move on too. She has started packing up and carting her stuff away. Omg looking in there she had settled herself right in… 😳

Also had to tell him that his manager at work wanted to see him due to him not attending work, (he was having at least a day off a week) calling in sick or some excuse or other…. Anyhow got a message this morning today he was at work so guess that’s something.

 

Yes, it’s his choice doing what he is doing. He believes because he’s ADHD that this drug will not affect him. Really son!!!   

He has forgotten how much this decision to ‘use’ has on us and his extended family. We’ve been on this road before. It’s hard. I don’t want to watch him to lose all that he worked so hard for to be lost. It’s devastating to watch someone lose themselves in drugs. They cannot see the hurt that it causes the immediate  family. 😞 

So we’ll sit back and hope that he can pull himself back. All we can do. 

It’s going to be an uphill battle for him, that’s if he wants too. 

I’m devastated

 My stomach is churning, I’m not sleeping and my brain just won’t shut down. My son has relapsed. Not only is it alcohol but he is doing drugs too. 

We told son he had to tell his friend camping in the camper she had to go, she’d been here weeks too long already, we had agreed to 2 or 3 weeks till she was on her feet. Well that went down like a lead balloon. He started on at us…and out came the truth. It wasn’t at all pleasant, damn heartbreaking 💔 

His life is falling apart before our eyes. Once again his wages have gone in 2 days. He got paid Wednesday afternoon and when he left here yesterday afternoon he had next to nothing.  He’s been taking a lot of time off work and he has to go see his manager on Monday and who knows if he will keep his job. This has always been a drug free home and it’s going to stay that way so if drugs are the life he wants to live again he won’t be doing it here. 

He worked so hard to turn his life around and we were so darn proud of what he has achieved. It can’t have been easy. And then a so called “friend” comes back into his life and somehow manipulated him and turned our son into an addict again….just like he did when they were school friends.

Now what the future for him is….who knows. 

Ours will be full of stress, that I do know. 

Wow, my scales really liked me

 I just don’t get it sometimes. I haven’t changed much on my food and tracking from last week to this week and yet last week I know I gained though I didn’t weigh, the week before a small loss this week a big loss.   Just gotta keep plodding away at it I guess. 

Trying not to let the stress of son being a “bloody idiot” affect me. He is still drinking, try’s to hide the fact but it’s visible. He has a man bag, that’s constantly on him. I know he is hiding things in it and taking them to his car when his mate messages him. He’s got real sneaky. Hides away in his room, and shuts his bedroom door which he NEVER used to, constantly receiving and sending messages and going out till all ours of the night. Having to get up and leave to go to work at 4.15am this is something he very rarely did. He has changed so much. Everyday I worry. Hubby gave him a lecture the other day but it doesn’t seem to have affected him. Just gotta stand back and watch him. We have decided we are not going to lend him money, buy him smokes or enable him in any way like that. 

All this is for my record, so anyways thats enough. 

Daughter had a lovely birthday week. Her birthday was the 6th. The kids Dad agreed to have the kids on the weekend, so I took the kids up to train station between mine and his location so K had the weekend free. It was a long weekend so even better.

She had a party with her bestie and some other friends that they had organised on the weekend before her birthday.

The day before her birthday (she was working on her birthday) I took her out for lunch at a seafood restaurant….mmmmm delicious 😋  Also got her to choose a pair of top brand sneakers for herself as she really needed a pair. She is on her feet all day at her work and good shoes are necessary. She wouldn’t spend that on herself, her kids she puts before her. 

On her birthday I got her to come out after work. I fed her kids and we had a special cake and candles to celebrate 🥳 

Time to get off here. Dinner to organise. Quick and easy tonight methinks. I got called into work today and I’m tired. Plus hubby having dental work so it’s all “soft” and easy to eat food here atm. 

I’m here

 Well “dieting” as such has gone out of the window for now. My birthday was quiet, no real celebration but it was a pleasant relaxing day. Even my son remembered and left me a little note on the kitchen bench when he left for work.  Mmmmm not sure what’s going on with him. If he is drinking he is doing it in secret now. He spends a lot of time in his room, he’s not very communicative and at times moody.  His eyes are clear, not bloodshot or halfclosed like they used to be way back when he was using drugs. His wages are still gone in 2 days. His excuse, fuel, vape and cigarettes….😳😳😳😳….things he buys every week normally 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ 

There is a girl involved. Actually she is camping here, she’s escaping a violent relationship. Somehow she is a friend of son’s mate too. She keeps to herself but I don’t like her, just something about her. Son is obsessed with her, she not so much in him apparently but she seems to use him. He has not been fishing for weeks, used to an every weekend occurrence. He has borrowed dollars off me, quite a bit actually in the last 2 months.  Just going to have to ride this one out methinks. 

Anyways on to this….

William all robed up and ready to graduate Children’s University. 

Dad, William and Mum. Glad Dad showed some interest. Actually he was so proud.

So so proud of this young man. Outstanding results. 

William and his teacher. She is the best.

William was the graduate speaker, his speech made us so so proud. 

I have a video, but I just can’t get it to upload. 

Anyways as I said, dieting gone. 

I haven’t weighed, not going too either. I’m still exercising, love my walking in water and early morning jabbers. 

Reset day Monday. 

Time to move. 

 

Another post.

 Along with the stress from the last few weeks with my sister I have had stress from my youngest son. If you are a long time reader you’ll know he was my “troublesome” one. After a lot of years of drug abuse, the death of his brother and 2 grandmothers in the space of 8 months sent him well and truly off the rails. He ended up going to goal for 7 months ( in a remand centre) where he managed to get off drugs. It’s been 7 years since he recovered and he managed to turn his life around, get a full time job, buy a 4 wheel drive and live drug free. Well this last month or so he has caught up with a friend from school who has come back to town. This friend is a big drinker and my son has followed suit. He is spending sooooo much money. The last 4 weeks, his pays have just disappeared and he’s been borrowing on his savings so much so that he has only $100 left out of over a $1000. I’m pretty sure he is not doing drugs again, I’m not religious but I’m praying not. He is hardly home, he’s tired and very moody and if we say anything he shrugs his shoulders and ignores us telling us he knows what he’s doing. I’m scared, really scared. I can’t live with a addict again…I just can’t. I know he’s over 40 and should know what’s he’s doing but he doesn’t. 

I’d hate to see him throw his life away again, especially as he has worked so hard to regain it. 

Now on a happier note. On Saturday night my sister in law threw a surprise party for my brother for his 75th birthday. 

What a lovely night it was. Lorraine was so happy that she managed to keep it a surprise. He was so shocked and surprised to see us all. Only about 40 people were invited which was deliberate as with his dementia too many people would have been overwhelming. It is his birthday today and on speaking to him earlier he still in a bit of a shock with the surprise. Glad he was able to remember it. I bet he doesn’t remember my birthday on Thursday though. 

Anyways, despite all, I managed to lose 500g this week. Still trying to get back down, slow and steady I guess. 

I’m back…

 I’m back….just here to update for myself. Not many people follow blogs anymore do they? Actually I have considered not blogging anymore as not many visit here but I do like to keep a record of a few things and this place is great for that. 

Anyways, weight has been up and down, just like a yo-yo, up some grams, down some grams just not getting anywhere. I was getting disheartened but I hadn’t given in. 

Then on the 17th January, I had just finished packing up my car as I intended to leave early next morning for a weekend away at my sisters, when the phone rang and my brother in law told me my sister had had a cardiac arrest and would be transported by ambulance to my local hospital. My sister has had a little trouble with her heart going out of rhythm previously but on Friday evening her heart just would not go back into rhythm and she actually died for a few minutes, twice!!  

Anyways my brother in law asked me to go into the hospital Saturday morning and sit with her till he and their younger son got there. 

 

This is what I saw when I first walked in. It scared the be-jesus out of me. They had her in an induced coma and there were tubes and machines blipping everywhere. I just sat down and held her hand and I’m sure she knew I was there as her eyes blinked and her hand squeezed mine. I just couldn’t stop my eyes from tearing up. 

Anyways I stopped with her till her hubby and son arrived later in the afternoon.

They took her out of the coma the next day and with physio she was soon up and walking around with her heart monitor. She was then transferred to a heart specialist in Perth where she had a ICD ( implantable cardioverter defibrillator) fitted. It will monitor her heart’s electrical activity and send electrical impulses to correct abnormal rhythms. Had that fitted one day and home the next.

Sis is still coming to terms with all that happened. Fortunately she can’t remember what happened, though she knows how hard the Drs at her local hospital worked on her as she has a fractured sternum and few broken ribs from the CPR.  For a few days after she came out of the coma she had a very poor memory but thankfully now that has too improved.

Below is on Saturday night. I drove down and spent the weekend with her. It was so good to see her looking so good. At night out at the speedway was good therapy for us pair of rev heads. 

This morning weigh in I lost over a kilo, the best loss I’ve had in weeks. But still it’s a long way down to where I was. A Dr visit tomorrow, I’m asking for bloods to be checked for a few things too. 

Till I visit again…..

A good week..

 

No New Year resolutions this year, every time I try I end up trying too hard and end up failing. Then I tend to throw my hands in the air and say F@rk it !! WW has a new program, one very similar to another one that I did well on. This last week I have found it so easy and I’m quite enjoying it. Scales this morning showed me a kilo off so I’m doing something right. Now to carry on carrying on WITHOUT too many over indulgences. My surgeon doing my Dupuytren’s Contracture has said he’d like to see me 5 kilos lighter at the end of April for my surgery. That’s over 3 months away so I think it’s totally doable. I’ll be trying my best and hopefully I can do it. 

Nothing exciting this last week in the world of Jen. At the moment sitting inside under the air conditioning as it’s a bit hot outside.  Counting down for my eye appointment in 2 weeks, hopefully will get date for cataract surgery. 

I’ve rung my sister today to wish her Happy Birthday 🎂🥳🎉. She is 4 years younger than me. I can remember the day  my mother came home with her. My 2 brothers were besotted and I hated that, i was so jealous. I was used to being the only girl and being doted on. Up to she reached the age of 12/13 years there was a lot of squabbles and sibling rivalry then it just changed. I matured as did she and we became close and still are. 

Going down to hers in 2 weeks to spend a couple of nights with her and just have some sister time. 

Right, I’m out of here. Down a worker tonight so muggins me is doing the shift.