I am talking about my very troubled son....who else!! He is a huge big stress in my life...if he didn't have his lovely partner and my two gorgeous little grandaughters I wouldn't be there for him as much as I am. His moods swings so quickly and has drug induced mental problems and is often in a paranoid state. I was meant to be catching up with Rach today for a coffee and chat but she messaged me to say she had had a bad night and wouldn't be able to catch up. Rach has only a week or so before she has a bub!! So I rang son (and I hate ringing him coz I never know what kind of mood he is in) to say they could come visit earlier if they liked as I wouldn't be going out to meet Rach. He was fine on the phone and then I said something...heck really knows what I said but whatever it was it set him off!! He went on and on about how he is misunderstood and how its not the drugs that causes all his problems, then within 5 minutes he was back to normal, stopped his ranting 'n raving and said he'll see us in an hour. When they got here Hannah says he hasn't been too bad, but they are fighting and arguing a fair bit of late....she says he can be very aggressive and moody and very quickly misinterepts what people say, even her. I am scared...so scared that he is going to hurt someone. Talking to him today and I gingerly asked him if he needs help with his "moodiness" and maybe need medication and he says no...
We have travelled this route with him before, he even went to rehab....ohhhhhh that was a fantastic year with him, I had my son back....now we have to wait and live in hope...and pray he doesn't hurt anyone but himself. It's breaking my heart and sending me grey.....but unfortunately I can't do anything until he is ready to help himself.
Damn it.... coz without cannabis he is a bloody good kid !! Why can't he see what he is doing to himself, why can't he see the changes in himself....Why can't he see??
Oh Jen - it must be such a worry for you and so hard to only be able to watch helplessly until he decides he wants to be helped. Hopefully that will happen one day soon. Thinking of you
ReplyDeleteZ xx
I can see how hard this must be for you.....and is perfectly normal for you to feel like you do but until he says I have a problem then all you can do is be there for them........hugs to you Jen :)
ReplyDeleteIt must be so hard for you. You are there for him, and that's all you can do. xx
ReplyDeleteI sincerely hope that you get your boy back again. All you can do is hang in there and be there. Take care and look after you!!
ReplyDeleteHang in there Jen, I know the type of paranoia you are talking about, the boy in his younger days (when he was living in perth) got in with the "wrong crowd" took him a long time to get out of it and I suspect that he occaionally still touches the funny stuff not realising what it does for his moods and perceptions
ReplyDeleteI think though it may be the years of alcohol and drug abuse that made him that way and now only takes some stress or a little of something drug or alcohol to send him in to max paranoid mode (I don't like late night phone calls from him of him coming home when he has gone out)
I hope your boy sees what he is doing to himself and his family before its too late and does something about it
Hugs B
Oh Jen I know what you are going through - a little bit. I lost my son for a little while and it was not fun. You can only be there to help and hope that no one gets hurt.
ReplyDeleteHugs
He's your son Jen and for that reason you will love him no matter what. But that doesn't mean that you have to like what he is doing to himself or his family. Hopefully he will come round before he gets into any real trouble. One can only hope - Hang in there Jen. xx
ReplyDeleteBe there for him and his family.... thats all you can do...
ReplyDeleteHopefully he will come round... we all know that men take a lot longer to mature enough to see what they are doing wrong... lets hope that when this baby comes it might be enough to make him see sense... My girlfriend is with a guy that is dependant on dope... it is so sad to watch... the paranoia is there also...
just take care ...