Some good days, some bad days.....

It's been one of those weeks.....some real good days and some darn crappy ones. Been focused most of the week, then had a real bad day, soooo bad I walked out of work and was going home.....I had had enough of the rude ill mannered man that runs the carrot washing shed! That sent me off rails briefly...and yep I did the usual and went looking for food. Duhhhhhhhh ehhhh, after all my efforts NOT to use food to reward myself....and what do I do, get upset and use it to comfort myself!! But I did manage to get myself on track again, but only breifly. The weekend, welllllllllllll I am just glad to see that over with. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother very dearly, and we do get on well.....but she cannot understand the problems I have with my weight nor the thyroid condition I have either (how can a little gland cause you to get so fat??) She doesn't have a weight problem, never has, and nor does my sister and she never has either! Anyways I have had mum up staying for the weekend....phewwwwwwwwwww she has run me ragged. Mum is 79 but boy can she still shop!! Turn my back for a second and I would lose her, was so tempted to tie her on a leash. But I had to so bite my tonque when it come to meals/snacks....she couldn't understand why I couldn't/wouldn't eat foods. "Now that your're skinny Jen, you can eat that" "ohhhhhhh a little bit of those won't hurt you" "whats wrong with that, its good for you" " Your sister and I eat them all the time, look at us we don't put on weight"?? Get where I coming from??? ahhhhhhhh well, mum has gone home now.....and I can breathe a big sigh of relief and see if I can have a better week.....

Onwards and hopefully downwards....and NO QUITTING !!

Onwards and downwards yet again....

Why is it that after just about weigh in I go totally off the rails and reward myself with food. Food that I really don't want, and certainly do not need. It seems to be a compulsion and I am so over myself!! I have been doing this off and on all through my journey so honestly I really need a huge kick up the backside for allowing myself to keep doing this. I just have to stop this bad habit, heck it isn't doing myself any good, is it?? Rewarding myself with junk is a bad habit and it JUST has to go!!

This week, Wednesday the 26th actually, will be my 1st "at goal" anniversary....and although I am not going to be game enough to hop on the scales to see what I weigh, I think I should be in the 2 kilo range allowed. Since last Monday after weigh in I have gone off the rails totally and have virtually eaten as I pleased.....and because of my surgery I haven't been doing any walking, only done a few sessions of pilates. Adds up to "oink oink" methinks.

After talking about this to a few friends I have decided with their advise that I cannot let this keep happening otherwise I am going to end up right back where I started....so have resolved to try and conquer this "food reward" demon and get myself back on track. So it is once again back to basics and the journal is out and its going to be tracking until I reach my personal goal of 65 kilo's. Tomorrow is another new start and I will be beginning my walking again, slowly of course as I build my strength up till I am back to where I was before my surgery. Then when I reach my personal goal I will reward myself with ... I am not sure yet!! Not food thats for sure.....any ideas welcome please??

Hopefully I can conquer this ....I am going to give it my best shot, know occassionaly I am going to falter, but do know one thing....I WILL NOT QUIT!!

Happy Easter ..... hope it has been a happy and safe one for you all.

Resting and recovering

I am resting up and recovering well. Not in any pain at all now.....and enjoying time off from the "funny farm"! Have read that many books, and spent lots of time on the computer playing games and surfing the net...but I have really enjoyed doing NOTHING !! Sure makes a change for me.

Last night I did go to my weight watchers meeting as I haven't weighed in this month, and next Monday is Easter Monday so there would be no meeting, so gritted me teeth and hopped on the scales and low and behold despite the travelling and wedding indulgences and the surgery I weighed 69 kilo's....only up 100 grams from Feb 25th weigh in. Wowwwww I sure was happy with that !!!!!

Tuesday mornings I usually walk with a friend...but as I haven't excersised any since surgery thought instead of a walk we thought we would do a pilates dvd just to ease me back into the excersise again. That went well....will be doing that most mornings now till I feel ready to get into the walking/jogging routine again. At 6am when I do walk its that darn dark anyways.....darn daylight saving I hate it....why the Western Australian government didn't listen to us I don't know, we have voted NO to it 3 times, and yet still end up with it whether we wanted it or not!!

ahhhhh well.....I now off to have some breakkie, drink another coffee, and I guess read another book!!

Today....

......I came home from hospital after my surgery on Wednesday....when I eventually did get into surgery....meant to have been 1st on the list for the afternoon but didn't end up in there till after 3pm......ohhhhhh I was sooooooo killing for a coffee by then !!!!! Reminder...had nothing to eat or drink since before bedtime Tuesday evening....

Yes, all seems to have gone well even thou we did have a few minor complications.....like the needle for the anaesthetic wouldn't go into the first vein they tried as it had scar tissue, and then during surgery the bladder had a bleed....after surgery I had very low blood pressure (low is normal for me...but this was veryyyy low) and because I had to fast so long I did become very dehydrated!! Won't go into it all coz the list does go on ..... but I will tell you it BLOODY HURT, I was in pain !!!!

The nursing staff was absolutely great, really caring and so helpful...and my fellow "inmate" and I got on like a house on fire, going to try and stay in touch if we can...

But as I said I am home and doing nothing, am still in a little pain.....just up out of bed to eat lunch and read a few emails while drinking my coffee.....then I off to bed again......coz you DON'T get any sleep in hospital......

Yesterday....

I took a "sickie" and went to Mandurah and met up with a dear online friend of mine. We met way, way back on the old ww boards and of course kept in touch via our blogs too!! Rae and her hubby and little 5 month old bub flew in from Canberra for her mum's 50th birthday last week..and of course got caught up with all the festivities of catching up with family and friends, visiting Perth sights so when she let me know she was over in WA and wanted to know if I wanted to catch up...it was like wowwwwwwwwww, what a question, of course I would !!!! With all the time I have had off, and going to have off with the coming op....decided to have a "sickie" and head off to met Rae at nearly half-way for us both..

And it was wonderful meeting....... felt as thou I already knew her. Rae might be about the same age as my daughter, but it was a really special meeting as we seemed to make a "connection" when we met online. Rae, and her devoted hubby and absolutely gorgeous son Xavier really made my day..... They are a very special couple whose love for each other and their son shines out of them....and to let me share a few hours with them just made my day.

So Rae, Duane and Xavier....THANK YOU for thinking of me, taking the time to travel to meet me....and the enjoyable few hours we had catching up....

"oink oink"

What a week I have had.....mmmmmm it really hasn't been good foodwise at all. After weigh in last week, I was delighted with my progress, had a takeaway meal and a few small indulgences...then next day was back on the wagon. That lasted till the Thursday!! We, hubby and I, were heading off to Geraldton (a 6 hour drive up the coast) on the Friday, for a wedding on Saturday morning so thought...ahhhhhhh what the heck.....I won't count points till I get back....so with that.....I continued eating.......ahhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!

Was I happy???

Nahhhhhhh, not really !!

Thou I enjoyed the indulgences....it did not make me feel real good, I suffered from bloating and flatulence.

I had a fantastic time at the wedding....thoroughly enjoyed dressing up, and catching up with our friends.

Now I am home......I am now back on track, the journal is out and I am writing EVERYTHING down again. Need to do some excersise, haven't walked for a few days.....so will try this evening to do that. So now hopefully I will be okay till my next weigh in in 2 or 3 weeks time. Have my op nex week, hope that doesn't throw me out of skelter!!!