grrrrrrrrrrrrr

So much for prayers.....

Today was a complete and utter waste of my time!!! Court was adjourned till the 15/2 as Shawn didn't have legal representation....grrrrrr he was told last time he wouldn't need it today as it was a pre-sentence report!!! The magristrate made no mention of the report that Hannah gave to corrective services...actually NOTHING was said at all about corrective services. All she did other than ajourn till February was stipulate to Shawn he had better stay away from Hannah and her address.....NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER !!!!! Hope he listens coz I know they still communicating, if he doesn't and he is caught or reported being there it is jail...directly to jail...and that I am afraid is not going to help him. She had better listen to it too as she told me today that DCP had been there and have told her they will keep Kaleb in their care till he is 18 if she continues carrying on seeing Shawn. They are going to be keepin a close watch on her and will be questioning Skye. She better listen if she wants Kaleb back...she has to stop seeing and helping Shawn out. I do too.....but that will be easy if he stays in the mood he is in today, all this trouble he is having is all my fault....yep mine coz I gave birth to him !!!!! Shit if I knew he was going to be this much trouble I would never of had him !!!!!!!

Well lets hope my day improves....weigh in tonight....I will do an update with results then.

P.S. 7pm and just home from ww meeting....I weighed in and lost 2.2 kilo's , I real happy with that !!!

Tomorrow

....is another court day for Shawn, and I'll be going in for some support as I told him I would. He has rang me a few times in the last days and he has been good mood wise. Don't know if the message has sunk in or not as he hasn't asked for any money. I know he is very short of cash too as the last few days he has been in and out of emergency at the hospital with ulcer type sores on his elbow. He had to spend 2 hours the day before yesterday and yesterday on a drip getting antibotics into him. Due to the fact he has lost his healthcare card he had to pay full price for his scripts....apparently they didn't come cheap. Drs at emergency said he had cellutitis...and I guess living on the streets is not helping much either. I saw him yesterday briefly when I caught up with him to give him and gave him his mail...and soft touch that I am gave him a couple packs of cigs......and then left him.

He needs another car and he has asked me if I will keep my promise and help him out there some....I guess I may have too. But then again I am hoping it wont be necessary. Court tomorrow is for breaking his vro and being caught at Hannah's (re post 18/12).

Anyways apparently corrective servives have rung Hannah and asked her a whole heap of questions about what she would like for Shawn. She has told them she wants no charges pressed against him and no jail but please send him to rehab...pray along with me that the magristrate will do this.

Tomorrow night is weigh in too......

Back at it....

Tonite I went back to weight watchers and faced those demon scales.....I knew what they were going to read and I was prepared, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. From the 7th/12/09 to now I have put on 4.2 kilo's!! Now I am back on the wagon and doing really well.
And that is despite Shawn being a proper little a****hole. I am well and truly over that kid...well he's not a kid anymore, he is 28 years old this year. I went in to see him yesterday as he got on the booze and dope and had a big argument with the people he was staying with, was kicked out without his smokes etc....so being the soft touch I am I said I would buy him some more. But it will be the last time I help that kid, he has done his dash with me. I nearly thanks to him being argumentive and abusive cause a serious accident....I made a very silly driver error which could have caused myself and others serious trouble....thankfully it didn't. I was fined and lost 3 demerit points.
Tonight he was in the same mood.....yes I did see him, but just to give him back his phone and smokes he left in my car when he stormed off, and thats all I did. He was still moody, still not very agreeable....and did start ranting at me when I said no to him borrowing money as he had nowhere to stay the night, but I drove off leaving him standing there. He's on his own now, he tried ringing me a few times but I told him "no" again and hung up on him.....tough love is what I am trying as I just can't cope with the stress of him anymore.

Leave you with another pic Tanya took on the sly at Paul's 40th....me and my "sonshine" Simon.

Hubby and I, despite the look of us in the other pic in previous post above did have a very enjoyable night. We are happy...we are ok.

blah blah blah

mmmmm after my fall....and the bikkie barrel raid, I had another bad day. Sheeeeeeez I know I am doing it, but I still keep on self-sabotaging...grrrrrrrrrr

But once again I have got myself back on track...and on Monday evening I head back to my weight watchers meet. Not before time either the clothes are getting tight again so I guess most of the 1.8 I lost I have put back on again....

I have to be strong ... I havta do this ...

This is a pic of me and hubby that dear Tanya took on the sly at Paul's 40th....

grrrrrrrr

Had a real bad day yesterday......started well with me rushing out the door and slipping............."crash" down I went flat on my face and hurt my knee....bloody thing pained me all day while standing there at work.
Then to top it off....I had a bad menopausal night and raided the darn bikkie barrel twice....grrrrrrrrrrrrrr......and the knee too darn painful this morning to go walking!!!
Hope today goes better !!!!

Birthdays

Simon opening his pressies this morning. Paul at his party last night opening one of his pressies.

Today is my son Simon's birthday......he is 36

He, Tracey and the 4 grandies came down yesterday afternoon and unpacked all their gear ready for a overnight stay before we all headed down to Paul and Tanya's where Tanya had organised a surprise 40th birthday party for Paul. It's Paul's actual birthday tomorrow.

Paul had no idea the party was planned until a few hours beforehand, but still was not expecting so many people to turn up. All he was expecting was a few of his family arriving for a birthday dinner....surprise Paul...and Happy 40th Birthday.

This morning was great, I can't remember the last time Simon was actually with me for his birthday. I cooked a big bbq breakfast for us all then Simon sat down with his kids and opened all his pressies before they packed up and left. Would have loved them to stay longer but Ted and I are in the process of erecting a gabled roof outdoor patio so there were tools/materials and debris everywhere....not very child friendly and we wanted to get as much as possible done today. (The kids were getting in Ted's way and weren't listening to what they were being told in all the excitement of their overnight stay and Daddy's birthday.) Its going to be awesome when the patio is finished, heaps of extra room outside....just in time for all our visitors in March for Kylee's wedding.

Alls going well on the weight loss front....the scales are still heading downwards which is great, they show a 1.8 kilo loss since Boxing Day, so here's hoping that when I get to my weight watchers meet they have gone down more. I am eating a lot of meals cooked on the bbq and loving it, feeling a lot more satisfied too.

Not a lot of excersise this past week, my leg with the bad veins in it has been playing up plus work has been very busy and for some reason I was feeling more tired than usual so gave myself a few mornings off walking.

Happy New Year

Last night we went down the beach and met up with #1 son and family, had a few drinks and come home and had a cuppa and welcomed 2010 in.
Certainly hope its my year.....today is the beginning again.....ate and drank way to much yesterday but the determination is still there to win this battle and lose these dratted kilo's and get back to being comfortable with myself. To you all I am wishing you 365 chances to love, laugh and live your best year yet.