Sit ups

Despite all that has been going on I have stayed focused and NOT eaten my emotions....quite proud of myself I am!

My girlfriend went shopping yesterday for me and left this machine sitting on my doorstep. She knows I am very slack with my sit ups and also knows when I do them that I lose those inches around the tum a lot quicker. Just have to get Ted to make it up for me...I could try but I had my thumb jammed in my car door yesterday and it is throbbing, its black and blue and soooooo close to the wedding it looks as thou I might lose the nail!! Never realised how much we do use how thumbs till now.

Day off today, from going to work anyways....Shawn has court so I'll do a update on that later.

Other son rang me last night and apologised about losing his cool over the wedding....alls cool there now I think and he's going to ring his sister and work things out.

The patio is coming along nicely and it won't be too much longer now before it is all finished, still a bit to do but we are getting there.

*** Update....Shawn did well at court....last court appearance 2 weeks ago (not relating to vro) he was put on a drug therapy programme so they are willing to give him a month to prove himself...so next court appearance is March 26th...a day before the wedding!!!

He was with his new lady today who I met for the first time.....she is a bit older than him, but I think just what he needs. Today his eyes were clear, he was focused, he was happy....nearly my Shawn of old.....so we'll see what happens now.

No weigh

No weigh in tonight....to darn scared to hop on them, the last 2 weeks have been terrible for me. So close to the wedding and I lose the plot. I have had 18 months since the date was set for the wedding to keep myself trim, I had 7 months when I come back from hols in the NT in August to do something but noooooooooooo I haven't managed to do anything. I am still roughly the same weight as what I was when I come back from hols. And after a weekend of celebrating my birthday with lots of eating and drinking maybe weigh even more !!

But today I got myself back on track...and hopefully I can stay there till the wedding. Have had no problems with Shawn.....but tonight Simon rang me tonight and went off his tree about the kids not being welcome at the wedding reception, really got his knickers in a knot he has. He is denying he knew anything about the kids not being invited (although they are involved in the wedding ceremony)...and is now chucking the shits......recons he is not coming now, and hung up on me. Kylee tried ringing him when I told her, but he refused to answer his/their phone. I hate it being this way with him, my stomache is churning and I am upset.....BUT if he wants to carry on like this so be it, but I hope he/they gets over it.

Friday

Yay I didn't think Friday was ever going to come this week.....work has been so busy as per usual and I just haven't felt 100%.

Most nights I have been waking up with sore and crampy legs and hips, just can't get comfortable and thus of course I not getting enough sleep. Don't feel like walking, thou I know I should, I always do feel better for it afterwards. Funny thing with these aches/cramps is that it is only during the night, I stand all day at work and my legs don't get sore at all....at the end of the day I am tired and feel like putting my feet up BUT the legs don't ache.

Got some tablets from the chemist today...Crampeze...which were recommended to me by a friend suffering the same problem so trying them...lets hope for a improvement.

No weigh in again this coming week....I know what the scales will say and it certainly won't say down....another bad week to add on to last weeks. Sheeeeeez I better get my ass into gear or I won't fit into that wedding outfit if I keep going on like this.

Tomorrow a friend and I will be doing our pamphet jabberwalk.......then its off down to Manjimup to see my family and go to a speedway meeting. A birthday treat for me.

So this is it !!

This is it....my "mother of the bride" outfit, Hannah and Skye stayed over last nite and took this pic when I showed hubby.

Went shopping today with 2 grandies and their mothers to look for little dresses for the girls for the wedding and found some bling to go with it.

Tomorrow I plan to go delivering pamplets with my walking buddy, 90 minutes it takes so that I hope will be my start to get back on track after my horror week.

Why

Why is that every time I get myself on track and am going well and losing weight that something or someone comes along and I lose the plot ?????

I have had a few bloody terrible days and have turned to my usual comfort of food !!! I know I am doing it but do I stop myself...nahhhhhhhh talk about bloody stoopid. I really wonder about myself sometimes....I have Kylee's wedding at the end of March and its been a dream of mine to attend looking my best so why am I doing this to myself?? Can I get my shit together again and get myself back on track....ohhhhh heck I bloody hope so !!!!!

Today I am home...have court this morning, heck knows what kind of mood Shawn is going to be in...me and him have had a few runs ins this week and I have had to hang up on him. Wonder if any decisions will be made today and if he will receive his sentence??

Will be back later......

Back again.....and very pissed off, Shawn's legal rep DID not show, and after he was hauled over the coals by the magistrate he was told to show up again on the 26th Feb for sentencing. He gave a big sigh of relief and I think he is realising how much trouble he is in. He has court again on Monday for another incident and he could quite well end up in big trouble there too.

Anyways the best news of all was today I found my outfit for the wedding.....walked into a shop today and looked at one outfit I quite liked that was on display and then turned around and saw the one and after trying it on I just had to have it...so I bought it there and then....

Downside is that is one size bigger than I would have liked but you know what I don't care, I LOVE IT and it fits good and better still I feel gorgeous in it !!

weigh in

Well I went in to weigh in and hopped on the demon scales and was UP 600grams...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

Don't ask me why, coz even thou I was a little hungry a few nights I ate healthy snacks....never went over my points all the week, so go figure!!!

Hubby recons it might be because most of the weekend I was on the end of the shovel or was pulling out and lifting & moving patio tiles.....who knows !!!

Have had a night off...know I shouldn't have but what the heck.....tomorrow is a new day and I will be back on track....

Yoyo....

Thats been Shawn and his behaviour....most of the week I believe he has been obnoxious and I have had nothing to do with him. But today I had to go see him and get him to sign some paperwork and he was really good. He hit me a weak moment too....I was so happy to see him over his very down mood that I did give him $50 when he requested it!! I am too soft and weak I guess. Know its all not going to go on food as he said but will be spent on booze....drat me !! I have no trouble in not helping him out when he is in one of his moods....but in the frame of mind he was in today gave me a little ray of hope. He was with a mate that he used to hang around with when he was at school, and they were working on a deal to swap one of Shawn unlicienced 4x4's for a car that his mate had but didn't use anymore.....be great if it all works out for them, Shawn needs wheels. Lets hope he gets them and he does get to use them. Court is on next Friday and he is really worried about going to jail...yet when I suggested today that he ask his lawyer to plead that jail is not what he needs but a rehab he said he would rather go to jail...go figure !!!!! Just hoping that that attitude will change when it comes down to the crunch. His case worker thinks it will, she says he is scared of rehab as he has been once before and it failed yet he is equally scared of going to jail.

Anyways my week has been good, exersise and food wise....had a few nights where I have been hungry but have not given in to the bikkie barrel and have eaten healthy low point snacks....so we will see what those demon scales have to say to me come Monday night.

Been working hard on our patio so getting extra bonus points by digging out all the lawn and pulling out all those pavers and carting away.....phewwwwww but with all that extra outdoor area it will be worth it. Its getting there and looking good ehhhh?

Have today off....

Today I have off and hopefully I can achieve a few of the things I have set myself to do.

Have started the day off with a 45 minute walk.....weigh in this evening so I'll postscript that later.

I have donned the "big girl" panties and have been very strict on Shawn. Most of the time it has been easy coz he has been been at his worst. He has rang and wanted and I have been very strong and have said no....very adamantly too, and if he starts arguing with me or starts abusing me I just hang up on him. Very annoyed with him as the one thing he did have going for him was his job...but nahhhh he got in a snit one evening and quit !!! Think he regrets it now as I have heard via Hannah that he thinks the courts are going to hold that against him at his next hearing... and I think they will too !!!

He rang last night, was very agreeable with me and has asked if I would bring his tent in and leave at a friends house.....sounds as thou he has been kicked out of where ever he was staying and needs somewhere to sleep. So I guess I will do that for him.

I have got onto one of the DCP carers that I got friendly with when she was bringing the kids out here on their access visits and have told her all that is going on. She has since spoke to Shawns 1st case worker and he is going to do his best in finding some sort of help for Shawn. Here's hoping that something can be done as he agrees with me that Shawn needs to go to rehab and not jail....he needs help even if he doesn't think he does!! This case worker is a great guy and he did get on well with Shawn, so fingers crossed that something can be done between now and his next court case on the 12th.

The meeting tonight was good....and the demon scales were nice to me again....1.1 gone this week, yay !