Sunday, December 13, 2009

Feeling

I am feeling a little better today, had a long walk with my "jabberwalk" friend Deb, and we really did jabber. I am still teary, still feeling as thou I am not good enough...but I guess I will get better. Saw Shawn today...more drama's , but hell why should I be surprised, it always is. The drama's concern Hannah more than Shawn....everything has caught up with her too and emotions are running amok.
I love my man, he is my world, is my everything...the only thing we have ever had trouble with in our nearly 30 years together is his stubborness....if he don't want to do something, he won't. If we argue, he's not the sort to say he is sorry, just carries on as thou nothing has happened, argument forgotten, sometimes will bring me home a wildflower or something he spotted that he knows will appeal to me.
All I want him to do is to support me with Shawn...just be there for me when I fail again, coz that will be happen often with Shawn. Don't care if he has nothing to do with him, just want him to be there for me, doesn't has to listen to me, doesn't have to say "I told you so" , just be there to give me a cuddle and be aware of how I feel.
I have regained all the weight I lost in the past few weeks, this week has been a total disaster.....but you know what I just don't care, just another failure to add to my collection. Will try and walk in the morning and regain my routine again, but if I feel as tired and washed out as I have been this past week I won't.

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