Struggling

 Need to set the reset button.......

Ohhh why....did I...??
Today was just one of those days...
Tomorrow morning I press the reset button yet again....surely I will get my motivation back again.
I thought rejoining ww again I would be able to do it...paying out my hard earned money once a month for a year would help...but so far not!! 
I just have to do it...how do I get my mindset again. I am reading my old blogs, going back to when I did it last time, hoping something just "clicks" 

Weigh in day....

 Weigh in day today.....a 200g loss.
Hey, I'll take that even if its over 10 days as I mucked up big time on the weekend.

I am just wondering if I will ever learn to NOT eat my emotions...its damn hard not too sometimes. This time I managed to pull myself together, I just reminded myself that this journey is NEVER easy and hey I have a ww contract for 12 months so I can't give in.

Life does get in the way sometimes....gee I have learnt that over the years, especially over the last 3 years. Grief still rears its ugly head every now and then and I succumb to it. My brother I lost in 1979, 40 years next year we have lived without him....I still cry for him.

This week my promise to myself is to track and plan. I have a few challenges to face. This weekend is one of them. Since Shawn's 2 girls have gone into care this last time they have been giving their foster carer a real hard time. We have agreed to be respite carers every 2nd weekend and this weekend we have them all weekend.  I know they are going to try it on with me....they have a rude awakening coming....they are going to abide by some rules and they are not going to like it. Their carer loves the girls, she really does, but of course all they want to do is go home to their Mum. Their mum is not a fit mum, but of course the kids don't think that.....and they think the poor they act up and make life difficult for everyone the quicker they will be sent home to her. 

So this weekend.....its track, plan and keep myself focused. 

Weather hopefully this weekend will be fine. Of late all it has done is rain, rain and rain some more.  It has been so cold and our fire has been going constantly. 

Bring on Spring. 

A down mood day

Woke up this morning in a real down mood.....sooooo what do I do...I eat.
And then I eat more...and to see if my mood improves I eat more still....

Now its after midnight and what am I doing. I am writing this as I can't stop myself from farting....my stomach hurts, I feel sick....all coz I have eaten CRAP!!

Why do I do this to myself?? I should know by now that food is not going to make me feel better...espesially the crap food like I have eaten today. 

I really want to lose this excess weight, I really want to enjoy the weight loss journey, weight watchers is so easy now, its easy to follow so why does one "feeling down" day make me lose the plot? 

Guess tomorrow (or should I say today as it is after midnight) is another day....

Girls day out...

 A lovely day out with our little Miss Summer Bug

 Me and my besties, and me showing my holiday belly. Think this will be my before pic. I look like a little round beach ball.

 Our precious little girl.

Robyn loves her too....

Girls day out tomorrow.

Have my family on weight watchers duty....no junk is to be stored in my kitchen fridge. There are fridges out on the patio...if they want to have treats they are stored out there. Shawn is the sweet tooth in the family, Ted not so much. I still keep biscuits, muesli bars and other treats in the pantry mainly for the grandies, and I keep a few options for myself in there as well...not denying myself at all, this time slow and steady, I'm in for the long haul. 
Last night was weigh in....800 grams gone.
No exercise other than what I do at work. Must bring more into my day asap as I know I need it for weight loss...and for me, I been missing my walks. Sunday morning I have one planned with my jabber buddy. 

Girls day out tomorrow....looking forward to that. Kylee and I are driving to Mandurah to meet up with my besties. One is coming down from Perth..the other lives near Mandurah. Not sure who they looking forward to seeing more, me or little Miss Summer... lol 

First weigh in

Last night was my first weigh in.....a gain of 400grams BUT I did expect it.  (My scales before I left for work that morning showed a loss) Weigh in was between 5 and 5.30pm and I worked from 10am to 5 pm so had to rush from work as soon as I finished to make it in time. After a day of being on my feet all day I knew my weight would be up. It always is. This meeting is the only one that fits in with my work roster at the moment. I have 2 other meetings, 1 x evening and 1 x day one to choose from as well so I will go to which ever one suits my roster. Anyways the first week is done and dusted. 

I had a busy weekend.

Babysat these two on Friday night.....My first time with Summer overnight....and guess what I was up and out of bed before they woke up!!  Miss Summer was a good little girl and slept through for me.....

Saturday Simon came down with his two boys....they stayed overnight....so the house was full. 
Kylee and Garry stayed to catch up with them and have dinner so we ended up having a bbq dinner...a great catch up. Its great to get the kids together like that. 

Anyways time to go start dinner....its been a busy day at work so it will be a quick and easy one....

Back to Weight Watchers...

 Tonight was my first night back at Weight Watchers.....5pm is the only time I can fit in with my work hours....but so be it!! 
I have gained just over 8 kilo's since my last weigh in.....when I go on holidays I holiday!!
I drink which I don't very often do at home.....and the true reason for the gain methinks was the drinking...AND all the carbs I ate. Leading up to the holiday I cut out 95% of all carbs, allowed myself very very little. Not always a good thing to do especially when you reintroduce them in mega portions like I did...BUT so be it, I did expect it.
Now I am back into it. I have joined up for 12 months....hopefully with all the ups and downs in any ww journey I will get my act together and achieve my goal...its been a long time since I was there.  I was happy on my holiday...my weight held me back only a few times and I knew sooner rather than later I needed to do something. 

I have a lot of aches and pains....80% I am sure are related to my weight...time is up, I am going to do this....I have to give it a damn good go this time around. 

I have this little cutie above to run round after soon.....and the big 4 year old below to keep up with...I struggle to do that some days. I want to fit on the slides with him, climb onto the trampoline and jump....and push him on his bike, go for rides with him...

I'm back.....

I'm back....jet-lagged, but back....
What can I say...the trip was bloody fantastic!!! The long flights not so much, hubby really struggled with those, economy seats are not all that comfy but who can afford to travel any other class....certainly not us!! 
Alaska was out of this world...loved it and I would go back tomorrow if I could. So much more to see and do there.  The cruise was great, wasn't a fan of the ship. The crew on board were great, as was the food, the people....but the layout of the ship was terrible, we weren't fans of it at all. 

Vancouver was great too, we really enjoyed our stay there. Saw heaps and even managed to catch up with a long time MSN messenger friend who travelled way out of his way to catch up with us, that was awesome of him. 

I thought the cold would really bother me but it didn't, my scarves and jackets saved me from freezing.

England was beautiful...it was picture perfect in Surrey where we were. 

It was like looking at a postcard/picture then stepping into it. 

We didn't get to see as much as I would have liked due to our host being ill and us not wanting to leave him on his own. Maybe one day we will go back and see a bit more.

Hubby says he never wants to fly that far again....but I will. 

 I wish I had a camera on me when William saw us come out through customs on our arrival at home....we heard him before we saw him. It was a big "Jenna" "Poppy"  I looked up and he was standing there shaking with excitement from head to toe with a huge grin on his face. I just knelt down and held out my arms and he flew into them. From then on he never stopped talking....bless his little heart.
And our Miss Summer.....just look at her, how she has grown.
Thankfully she remembered us....we got lots of lovely little grins from her even though she is sick with the flu. 

What a holiday, one I will NEVER EVER forget.
But geeeeeee its nice to be home. 

Holiday

This is the last post for 5 weeks....tomorrow evening we leave for our holiday of a lifetime.
Perth to New York via Dubai and Milan, we overnight only in New York.  New York to Dayton in Ohio where we stay 5 days. Dayton to Los Angeles where we stay 2 days. Los Angeles to Anchorage in Alaska where we do a 3 day land tour around Denali National Park before boarding a cruise ship and sailing for 7 nights down the past glaciers and through the inside passage to Vancouver where we will spend 6 days. Then we fly to London for 10 days before heading home. 

So its goodbye from me till our return.  

Alls well...

Kylee had some professional pics done of our little "Snugglebug" taken. What a beautiful job she did...how cute is this little girl.  She is her mummy all over at that age...certainly takes me back.

An absolutely gorgeous day today, the weather was perfect. Shawn had his girls, I had William so after lunch we took off down the beach, a 10 minute drive away to enjoy it while we can....rain and wind forecasted for tomorrow.

William had an absolute ball...he just ran and ran the whole 3 hours we were there. He should sleep well tonight thats for sure. He talked too...heck this kid can talk, its constant yak yak yak...drives ya batty after awhile. 

Now isn't time flying...little Miss is now just a few days off 6 weeks. She smiles, she gurgles and talks to you now, just an absolute delight. 

William is as besotted as ever...hope that bond stays.

Weigh in was Saturday, weight was down again...now reached a number I haven't been at in a long long time. Hope I can keep this up, would be nice to see a bit more gone before we board the plane for our trip of a lifetime in 2 weeks time. 

Its been crazy...

Its been crazy here of late. 
Ted's 70th birthday is this weekend so been doing a lot of shopping and prep for that.
Been babysitting Master William and Miss Summer a little too. Kylee has had a few appointments, house has been sprayed for nasties and the list goes on. Also had Shawn's girls some too...school holidays and their foster mum works so they have had extra Daddy time.  William loves spending time with them too....I don't mind either as they wear him out and he has a arvo nap!!
Diet....well thats been up and down. Had 2 weeks of gains, anniversaries of loved ones passed really got to me.   But back to it and I recorded a good loss last week, hoping for another this weigh in. 

Will leave you with a few pics of the little ones...

4 weeks already, time has flown. She is a good baby, sleeps well most nights...Kylee usually gets a good 4 hours, sometimes 5. 

William is still besotted with his little "Sum Sum" as he calls her. Talks to her telling her how gorgeous she is,  always touching her and loves to help Mummy with her. 

This was taken today. Absolutely gorgeous day. Little Miss was not interested in a sleep after her bottle so I stripped her off and let her kick her little legs and play in the warmth for 3o minutes. She loved it. 

Update

Little Miss Summer is now heading towards 3 weeks old and coming along fine. She is feeding well and gaining weight as she should. Has a small hernia in her belly button that we will hope will go away...clinic nurse is keeping an eye on that.
William is absolutely besotted with his cute little "SumSum" as he calls her. 

Our new arrival...

Everyone....our little granddaughter is here....she arrived at 4.12am on the 27th March. 
Pleased to show you our Summer Rose. William is besotted with his little "SumSum" the name he affectionately calls her.  She is a real little doll.
Kylee got her natural birth that she was wishing for, no intervention at all, it was a quick and intense labour. Kylee had asked me to be with her during her labour, so I was there to encourage her and witness bub come into the world. I am truly blessed. 

Just quickly..

Kylee has somehow gone past her due date... she now overdue.
Didn't expect that...we all expected her to go early!
Last few days she has had off and on cramps...then they stop...so surely bubba has to come soon...

Weigh in day yesterday, 800grams gone (that was for 2 weeks)

Slowly I go....

Weigh in day today...a 200g gain on ww scales, 300g loss on mine, guess the day will come when they both will be the same. No matter if they don't...because I won't be forever going to ww meetings. Will see how the finances go after I come back from holidays, I may change to online for awhile till $'s mount up again.  
Very disappointed that I showed a gain on ww's. It's my first gain...and I am studying as to where I could have gone wrong ( I tracked every day). I actually thought I would have had a big loss as I was only over points for 1 day...the rest were spot on or under. Plenty of walks, heaps of active minutes. 
So my aim this week is to vary my diet a bit. Have different breakfasts and try out a few new recipes.  Should have a loss...have a colonoscopy on Tuesday...that means no grains or red meat tomorrow, fast on Monday ready for Tuesday.   Dear Daughter better not go into labour while I in hospital...well if she does at least I will be close, she going into the private hospital next door. 
Next Saturday weight watcher weigh in might not happen...I have an early shift that day and I don't know if I will make it to hop on scales. Will see what happens.

Right, daughter is here. There is a big fire in the next suburb....a lot of houses are without power including Kylee's. We are fine where we are, anyways we have solar power and work off the grid mostly. 

Kylee is over 38 weeks now....noticing baby is dropping. Come on baby, we are impatiently waiting.
Next Dr visit Monday unless bubba arrives before. 

Baby Q

Last night we had a Baby Q to wish Kylee and Garry plus William all the very best for the coming of their little girl and Williams little sister.   It was a lovely night. They are on the countdown down, Kylee is 36+ weeks now.  No sign of her "dropping" yet, but I think she will soon, as I think she will go go early.
So....pen and paper was out yesterday, we have all written down our guess dates and weights and now wait impatiently for the arrival of our little girl.  She has a name...that will be revealed when she is born. Its S----- R---    Any guesses?? 

Weigh in was Saturday...a sts   A disappointment as I thought I had done real well.  
This coming week.....mmmmmm after last night and the over indulging I will have to work hard to redeem myself......

Birthday week

Another week down but her above ^^^^^^^ is counting them too, 5 weeks to go and it can't go fast enough. She is loving the pregnancy, loves feeling baby grow, kick, and move around but is getting so tired. Sleep pattern is erratic but she now has the advantage of napping in the afternoon now she is on maternity leave and William is at Kindy or daycare. 
Bubby is head down, lets hope she stays there, Kylee desperately wants a vaginal birth this time around. William was stuck breech under Kylee's ribs so was a caesar. Fingers crossed it happens for her. Her gyno says it being a former twin pregnancy so it could go anyway...but he is letting her try to go naturally. 
Having a Baby Q on the weekend as a baby shower for both of them....just a few friends over, a lot have other commitments as we left it a little late to decide on a date.

Had a busy week last week. Visitors from the USA were here and we took them on a quick tiki tour down the South West...taking in the chocolate factory, wine and liqueur tasting and some beautiful coastal scenery.
Result at weigh in showed was a 100g gone....but I was happy about that considering my week.
Hoping for a better week this week although it is my birthday week.

Back to work...

Just a quick post. Its 6.30am Sunday morning, and I have my first shift back at work today after my op. Also have some American radio friends that are touring Australia and New Zealand coming this afternoon. Hubby has "met" both of them on ham radio and has been chatting to them for a few years now. Friends who live up the road (Neville is also a ham radio operator and chats to them too and his wife ) are going up to Perth to pick them up and bringing them down here the inland way and showing them points of interest as they travel. They will be dropped off here in the late afternoon as tonight we'll have a bbq with them and Neville and his wife Margaret, and tomorrow we'll take them touring a bit further down south before taking them back to Perth via the coastal highway (so they will get to see more) as Tuesday they fly to Hobart with their tour group. Looking forward to meeting them and doing the tiki tour with them. 

Weigh in was Saturday....yay to another 800g gone. Loving the new weigh watchers plan...its just so easy, too easy to be true...but I am stoked its working!!

Right...I gotta go move...a few more things to organise. Have to pack myself a lunch so I don't veer too much off plan today and I have some chores to get done before I leave. 
As the pic above ^^^^ shows I want to keep going and stick to the plan as much as I can. Holiday of a lifetime looms and I so want to travel in comfort. 

Focus Jen, focus...

Progress

This is my new motto...and it seems to be working.
First weigh in at weight watchers on Saturday, a 1.5 loss. Wasn't sure what the scales would say even though I had a great week, but due to recovering from op I had no exercise to add to the mix. So I was thrilled with the result. Tomorrow is my first day out walking, this weekend I have felt great, very little soreness and no pain so think its time. 
Last night I indulged, had a few cookies with my jarrah hot chocolate which ate into my "slush fund" .... but thats what the extra's are for. 

Update.

 Yep...its back I go again....
Going into hospital on Tuesday and hopping on the scales there had me in tears....I couldn't believe it. Most of the weight I lost for my last cruise...all back on!! 
Came home the day after op, feeling sore and sorry for myself and while browsing Facebook  saw a post of a old blogger friend of mine "killing" the program!! Then in my emails an offer from WW themselves offering a good deal.... Before I knew it I was clicking join. Saturday morning I was at my local meeting...and ready to start...
So far so good...
I have about 16 weeks to go before we fly out....my goal is to be a healthier fitter version of me by then. I want to be able to fly in comfort. 

 ok....which one is 7 months pregnant??
Kylee is looking terrific...but very tired. The hours she does at work have been killing her, it was just getting too much. 
But her gyno signed her off today....she is officially on maternity leave. 

Shawn is going well. As you can see very healthy... 
A friend of mine who is terminally ill has him working on her property a few days a week doing odd jobs which is earning himself some cash money....and helping her out too. Life is so darn unfair at times. 
Since getting out of prison we have found it very hard to get him moving...he is a bit of a slug...but very slowly he is getting better...
Hopefully as time goes on he will get more motivated to do more to better himself. He is still required to go to his corrections officer regularly, he has counselling sessions every week and also has centrelink job find appointments to attend.  Him having no license its up to either myself or hubby to get him there and back. 
But we'll take the Shawn we have now to the one we had this time 12 months ago!!! 

So far so good after op. Did a bit too much today and really feeling it....hence it heading towards midnight and me sitting up unable to get comfortable enough to sleep. 
I will rest more tomorrow thats for sure....

What a week!!

What a week it has been.....
Since my Uncle passed away I have fallen big time off the wagon...I have eaten everything and anything, so much so I have been sick to the stomach and still stuffed more in. 
( Losing Uncle meant it was the end of an era...my mum's family is no more, Uncle was the last one.  I feel my cousin's pain, even though its 21 months since we lost mum its never ever far from my mind...and my cousins will be feeling the same for their much loved Dad. ) 
Was so upset with myself, and really worried about my health, so much so I went to a Dr. Told him how upset I was about my weight, how I binge eat whenever "life" gets the better of me. He sent me off to the pathologist and a whole heap of bloods were taken just to make sure there was no underlying problem. I asked him about a appetite suppressant, namely Duromine....but that was a big fat NO! 

Anyways after a few more days of wallowing today is the first day I haven't gone out and deliberately sabotaged myself with my eating. I have not been 100% but hey its been heaps better than what I was!!  Maybe it was my weigh in...2.4 up....all that in 6 days!!
And here I am trying to lose weight. 4 months is all I  have got to lose a few kilo's, I want to be able to travel to Canada/Alaska and London in comfort in May/June. Our trip is coming around so quickly....we'll be flying out before I know it !

Have another few hurdles to jump yet. My Uncles funeral is on Monday....well actually its a service as he will be later cremated and his ashes spread across the farm where he grew up on farmed along with his family. 
Then Tuesday I am admitted to hospital for surgery, a prolapse is to be repaired....again. This is the 3rd time, so hopefully this time it will be done properly. 
So hopefully that will be one problem that I won't have to live with anymore. 

Birthdays

 Our Miss Jaydene turned 11 on the 7th...we have yet to celebrate with her, will be doing that tomorrow when she spends the day with us...

 My Sonshine, (Simon) turned 44 on the 10th...sheez that makes me feel old!! But hey I had him just before I turned 18, and I loved it!! I grew up with him. 
He is really struggling at the moment, his marriage breakup has turned nastier...and he struggling with not seeing his kids....BUT in the same breathe I have never seen him as happy with anyone as I have seen him with Michelle... 

And our Paul...he would have been 48 on the 11th....ohhhh how we miss him...

On the 10th, I received a message that my Mum's last remaining brother (my Uncle) had passed away. Him and mum were very close, the last 2 born in their family...they even looked alike. 

I cried, made me miss mum all over again....and its the end of an era...that family that was is now all gone....