Birthday week

Another week down but her above ^^^^^^^ is counting them too, 5 weeks to go and it can't go fast enough. She is loving the pregnancy, loves feeling baby grow, kick, and move around but is getting so tired. Sleep pattern is erratic but she now has the advantage of napping in the afternoon now she is on maternity leave and William is at Kindy or daycare. 
Bubby is head down, lets hope she stays there, Kylee desperately wants a vaginal birth this time around. William was stuck breech under Kylee's ribs so was a caesar. Fingers crossed it happens for her. Her gyno says it being a former twin pregnancy so it could go anyway...but he is letting her try to go naturally. 
Having a Baby Q on the weekend as a baby shower for both of them....just a few friends over, a lot have other commitments as we left it a little late to decide on a date.

Had a busy week last week. Visitors from the USA were here and we took them on a quick tiki tour down the South West...taking in the chocolate factory, wine and liqueur tasting and some beautiful coastal scenery.
Result at weigh in showed was a 100g gone....but I was happy about that considering my week.
Hoping for a better week this week although it is my birthday week.

Back to work...

Just a quick post. Its 6.30am Sunday morning, and I have my first shift back at work today after my op. Also have some American radio friends that are touring Australia and New Zealand coming this afternoon. Hubby has "met" both of them on ham radio and has been chatting to them for a few years now. Friends who live up the road (Neville is also a ham radio operator and chats to them too and his wife ) are going up to Perth to pick them up and bringing them down here the inland way and showing them points of interest as they travel. They will be dropped off here in the late afternoon as tonight we'll have a bbq with them and Neville and his wife Margaret, and tomorrow we'll take them touring a bit further down south before taking them back to Perth via the coastal highway (so they will get to see more) as Tuesday they fly to Hobart with their tour group. Looking forward to meeting them and doing the tiki tour with them. 

Weigh in was Saturday....yay to another 800g gone. Loving the new weigh watchers plan...its just so easy, too easy to be true...but I am stoked its working!!

Right...I gotta go move...a few more things to organise. Have to pack myself a lunch so I don't veer too much off plan today and I have some chores to get done before I leave. 
As the pic above ^^^^ shows I want to keep going and stick to the plan as much as I can. Holiday of a lifetime looms and I so want to travel in comfort. 

Focus Jen, focus...

Progress

This is my new motto...and it seems to be working.
First weigh in at weight watchers on Saturday, a 1.5 loss. Wasn't sure what the scales would say even though I had a great week, but due to recovering from op I had no exercise to add to the mix. So I was thrilled with the result. Tomorrow is my first day out walking, this weekend I have felt great, very little soreness and no pain so think its time. 
Last night I indulged, had a few cookies with my jarrah hot chocolate which ate into my "slush fund" .... but thats what the extra's are for. 

Update.

 Yep...its back I go again....
Going into hospital on Tuesday and hopping on the scales there had me in tears....I couldn't believe it. Most of the weight I lost for my last cruise...all back on!! 
Came home the day after op, feeling sore and sorry for myself and while browsing Facebook  saw a post of a old blogger friend of mine "killing" the program!! Then in my emails an offer from WW themselves offering a good deal.... Before I knew it I was clicking join. Saturday morning I was at my local meeting...and ready to start...
So far so good...
I have about 16 weeks to go before we fly out....my goal is to be a healthier fitter version of me by then. I want to be able to fly in comfort. 

 ok....which one is 7 months pregnant??
Kylee is looking terrific...but very tired. The hours she does at work have been killing her, it was just getting too much. 
But her gyno signed her off today....she is officially on maternity leave. 

Shawn is going well. As you can see very healthy... 
A friend of mine who is terminally ill has him working on her property a few days a week doing odd jobs which is earning himself some cash money....and helping her out too. Life is so darn unfair at times. 
Since getting out of prison we have found it very hard to get him moving...he is a bit of a slug...but very slowly he is getting better...
Hopefully as time goes on he will get more motivated to do more to better himself. He is still required to go to his corrections officer regularly, he has counselling sessions every week and also has centrelink job find appointments to attend.  Him having no license its up to either myself or hubby to get him there and back. 
But we'll take the Shawn we have now to the one we had this time 12 months ago!!! 

So far so good after op. Did a bit too much today and really feeling it....hence it heading towards midnight and me sitting up unable to get comfortable enough to sleep. 
I will rest more tomorrow thats for sure....

What a week!!

What a week it has been.....
Since my Uncle passed away I have fallen big time off the wagon...I have eaten everything and anything, so much so I have been sick to the stomach and still stuffed more in. 
( Losing Uncle meant it was the end of an era...my mum's family is no more, Uncle was the last one.  I feel my cousin's pain, even though its 21 months since we lost mum its never ever far from my mind...and my cousins will be feeling the same for their much loved Dad. ) 
Was so upset with myself, and really worried about my health, so much so I went to a Dr. Told him how upset I was about my weight, how I binge eat whenever "life" gets the better of me. He sent me off to the pathologist and a whole heap of bloods were taken just to make sure there was no underlying problem. I asked him about a appetite suppressant, namely Duromine....but that was a big fat NO! 

Anyways after a few more days of wallowing today is the first day I haven't gone out and deliberately sabotaged myself with my eating. I have not been 100% but hey its been heaps better than what I was!!  Maybe it was my weigh in...2.4 up....all that in 6 days!!
And here I am trying to lose weight. 4 months is all I  have got to lose a few kilo's, I want to be able to travel to Canada/Alaska and London in comfort in May/June. Our trip is coming around so quickly....we'll be flying out before I know it !

Have another few hurdles to jump yet. My Uncles funeral is on Monday....well actually its a service as he will be later cremated and his ashes spread across the farm where he grew up on farmed along with his family. 
Then Tuesday I am admitted to hospital for surgery, a prolapse is to be repaired....again. This is the 3rd time, so hopefully this time it will be done properly. 
So hopefully that will be one problem that I won't have to live with anymore. 

Birthdays

 Our Miss Jaydene turned 11 on the 7th...we have yet to celebrate with her, will be doing that tomorrow when she spends the day with us...

 My Sonshine, (Simon) turned 44 on the 10th...sheez that makes me feel old!! But hey I had him just before I turned 18, and I loved it!! I grew up with him. 
He is really struggling at the moment, his marriage breakup has turned nastier...and he struggling with not seeing his kids....BUT in the same breathe I have never seen him as happy with anyone as I have seen him with Michelle... 

And our Paul...he would have been 48 on the 11th....ohhhh how we miss him...

On the 10th, I received a message that my Mum's last remaining brother (my Uncle) had passed away. Him and mum were very close, the last 2 born in their family...they even looked alike. 

I cried, made me miss mum all over again....and its the end of an era...that family that was is now all gone....

New Year....

I will be sleeping in the New Year. An early morning for me as I am walking with my jabber buddy.
I started my New Year Resolution today....the usual one...lose weight. I lost 12 kilo's before I went on our cruise....gained 5 of it since then....and boy can I feel it!! 
I want it gone...
2018 is going to be a busy year. I have a op in mid January to repair a prolapse (again!!!), our new grandchild is due in March, hubby is 70 in April (party time!!!) and then in May we are off on our holiday and cruise to Alaska/Canada and London.  
So I have 146 days to lose the 5 kilo's I gained and hopefully lose an extra 5 kilo's to get to a number I haven't been to in years....doable YES!!! I just have to stick to my plan....

So my last post for 2017 is to wish you all from my house to yours...Good Luck, good health and happiness for 2018.

                     HAPPY NEW YEAR 

Christmas Day

Had one of the best Christmas Days in awhile. Lots of laughs along with some good food and company. William wasn't well, but he was still able to enjoy himself. Was a little over-whelmed when Mummy and Daddy and his Uncles had a full on nerf gun war...then a water balloon fight.... it all bought a big smile to my face. Got them together and got this series of pics...I just love them....the bond between them shines.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to you all.
Hope you have had a wonderful day.

Nothing exciting....

is happening.....and it doesn't matter if it is as no one reads or comments. Just as well I do this blog for myself really.

Had a family gathering on the 25th for our Christmas. With the way things are at the moment its highly unlikely that we'll have the day together. The situation with Simon and Tracey is nasty and ongoing. Tanya rarely comes out here now that Paul is no longer with us, the grandee's are all growing up and doing their own things.....so it will be just us Shawn and Kylee...

Shawn is going real well. He's lonely and bored but is afraid to anyway in case he gets into the wrong company, and anyways he can't afford too. He has Shaz that has stuck by him, but I can't stand her, or trust her for that matter. Kylee and Garry try and help him out but with the hours that they work they find it hard. I am looking into groups and organisations to help him out....

And as for the "diet" ............

home sweet home....

Holiday is over, arrived back on Friday evening at 6pm and it was back to work at 6am next morning....I can tell you after that 8 hour shift I knew my holiday was well and truly over!!! 
We had a fantastic time....now its dream about the next one.....and you know what thats only 189 days away ....

 We enjoyed looking around Fiji and loved the people....but I don't think we'll go back there again....well not unless a real cheap cruise come up. Its a place that once you see part of it, you seen it all...well that was my impression anyways. The Fijian's are the most happy friendliest people ever...we enjoyed our time with them. 

All was well with everyone when we returned.  Kylee's bump is expanding....and our little GRANDDAUGHTER is a active healthy little girl with 10 fingers and 10 toes. 

Shawn has settled in home...he potters around here with his father helping him out. He is undergoing counselling and a few other activities that his correction officer is making him do under the terms of his release. As he said, its better than sitting around jail....
He is unsure as to how long he has to do all this counselling....hope they don't throw too much at him at once and he becomes overwhelmed...seems as though they might be as he has counselling for his well being, drug and alchohol and other for his "head space" as he calls it...

House looks like a bomb has hit it ... clothes everywhere, some to wash, some to fold, some to put away.... best go do something. 

Holiday time.....

Tomorrow morning is the day we get taken to the airport, we fly to Sydney and spend a few days with our friends who will drop us off up at the ship on Sunday.....
Today we have spent doing the last minute things, I stripped the beds and washed towels, had my haircut .... Ted mowed the lawns, put the retic on a timer...

Kylee, Garry and William are moving in to help Shawn out, plus he will help them with the babysitting duties while they both work. 

Kylee is going well, getting quite the little tum now ^^^^^^
She has a ultrasound on Monday, and she can find out the gender too. She has decided if "its" legs are open and they can see they will find out BUT if they have to look to see they won't find out.
She has been given instructions to Facebook message me as soon as possible with gender. 
I thinking girl. 

Right off to zip up cases and weigh them. 

Slowly slowly.....

Slowly slowly the weight is coming off...100g last week, 100g this week. I don't make it easy on myself, I tend to become a little piggy on weigh in day and the next day, then spend the rest of the week trying to rectify my binge. The tape measure and my clothes tell me lots of inches have gone!! And people are noticing. I see a difference in my pictures but not in the mirror. Disappointed in myself, I could have done heaps better if I stopped treating myself and stuck to my plan. But just the same, I am happy with the results that I have achieved, 12 plus kilo's gone since the 17th January. 

My troublesome one is settling in well. He's onely but is starting to believe that his family still loves him despite all that he has done. He is getting on real with his father again, and his brother and sister. He looks great. He was about 70 kilo's when he went into jail, he looked just skin and bone, very unhealthy. 

This is him now, a 100 kilo's, clear skin with a healthy appetite. A real pleasure to have around. I so enjoy his company once again. 

His sister is now 17 weeks pregnant...and all going well. She is slowly getting a nursery ready for our little bundle due March next year. Its going to be a "surprise" much to my frustration...I would love to know what she is having. Kylee was over 100 kilo when she had William so its hard to pick the difference between the 2 pregnancies. 

 The 2 pics above are Kylee, the first one she was nearly 7 months...but I think you could see thee difference in sizes. Kylee really feels this one is a girl...I am hoping girl too.

And this gorgeous wee man can't understand why Mummy is taking so long to grow his baby bruvver ....such a cutie. 

Now before I go...the countdown to our holiday/cruise is on. We fly to Sydney on the 26th to say with friends before sailing out to Fiji  on the 29th. We go to Lautoka, Suva, Lifou Island and Vanautu ... soooooo looking forward to it. 

Where's time go??

Well where has time gone...hullo October !!

Been so busy with shifts at work, babysitting William and in between I have attended a few court cases for Shawn.
He is out now....got out on Friday on a 2 year suspended sentence on his own surety.
A long road ahead of him....BUT he seems prepared to face it.
Being inside has changed him for the better. A lesson has been learnt I think.
He is living with us for the time being. We are not minding that, as I said he has changed and he is actually a pleasure to have around. Its been a long long time since I have been able to say that!!

He has put on a heap of weight back on,  the dark skin caused from use of drugs has gone, his eyes are clear....he looks great.  Kylee and him already have got close again and he is enjoying time with his little nephew. 
We are trying to arrange some time to spend with his own kids while they are on school holidays.

Now weight....yoyo'ing a little till last week then I dropped 1.4 kilos and I am now at the lowest I have been in a long time. THEN last night I had a small binge on bread which I haven't been eating very much of.....

On cruise countdown now..25 days and we fly to Sydney, 27 days and we will be sailing......

It's Facebook official !!

Kylee had her 12 week scan on Monday to check out baby spine etc and to make sure that twin 2 was being absorbed by her body. It is...all that is left now is the sac. Twin 1 is growing as it should...and quite a little wriggle pot!!

Nothing else of excitement happening.

Simon and Tracey begin mediation with their split. Simon had the boys on Fathers Day, the girls won't acknowledge him. 

Shawn still in jail, put on heaps of weight, totally clean of all drugs and alcohol and he says it will stay that way! Lets hope so. He has been in there 7 months now and apparently goes to court next Monday for sentencing. We wait to see what the verdict is. 

My weight...up and down like a yoyo still...but not drastically. Hoping to get it together, 48 days till my cruise...would love to lose a few kilo's. 

Its been an emotional rollercoaster...

The last few weeks have been a real emotional rollercoaster.

Kylee came back from her holiday and had her ultrasound which had been booked before she left.

We found the reason she was showing very quickly, she was carrying twins....but twin 2 was tucked up behind twin 1 and they discovered it was 10 days growth wise behind....and they couldn't detect a heartbeat.  So Kylee's Dr gave her a referral to have another scan done today, but unfortunately the same result, twin 2 has become a little angel.  A blessing is that twin 1 is ok, a very strong heartbeat and going ok. 
Kylee is sad of course, as are we. We understand its natures way and we'll be happy that we still have a gift growing.

The twins...as you can see pic is upside down...and twin 2 is slowly being absorbed. 

Twin 1...good strong heartbeat and growing well. 

Kylee at 10 weeks. 

Onwards....

To start...some progress shots.
My online weight loss group started a new challenge on the 1st of August. The last challenge went from beginning of May to end of July...I lost the grand total of 1.7  I was the typical yoyo that I am....BUT I must been doing something right as the inches are less....my clothes are fitting better and I am wearing clothes I couldn't fit into 3 months ago.
Anyways just had 1st weigh in for this round...and recorded a loss. I have a lot that I want to achieve this round....so I am motivating myself onwards. 
Hopefully none of the stresses will interfere with my emotions too much...stress usually means eat to me.
There is still anger/hurtswith Simon and Tracey....they will be ongoing...but I still think he has done the right thing. He looks like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders and he is smiling again. A girl friend that he has might have something to do with that. A lovely girl that understands where he is at the moment and is listening to him. 

And talking about progress....look at this....

Kylee is in the Gold Coast on holidays at the moment...they were there last 3 years ago....so this time they had an updated pic done....wow ehh??

Shawn is still in jail...I still have not visited. I cannot bear to see him in there dressed in the prison greens. I talk to him on the phone once or twice a week and he is ok. DCP took his girls in to see him last week and this week I believe he gets a visit from his boys. 
Court is in September for him....his lawyer is hopeful that he will get "time served" as his sentence. Lets hope so...then we can see if he can get his life sorted out. He says he is determined too....I live in hope.

Stress....means eat...

Yep....thats the story....
I stress, I eat....and all good intentions go out the window....
Last weigh in I got to a weight I have not been too in a long long time....and then this week coz I have "stuff" going on what did I do....yep I bloody ate....
Wham bam thank you...and on goes 1.3kilo's
And did that stop me eating....nahhhhhh...
My online group starts new challenge on Tuesday and I will be sucking it all up, showing my weight and moving on. I am determined this round to get to my goal that I set last round. Its 3 months exactly to our cruise.....and I so want to board that ship looking better than I do now!! I have come a long way since I started 5.2 in January. It hasn't been easy with all the grief but I have persisted and 10 kilo's has gone. Yes, I am still eating my emotions, yes I am still yoyo'ing but yes I am still trying and NOT giving up. 
So thats where I am at...

A fast day today....and I am so gonna rock it and get back on track. 

Right onwards....

Dear son has chosen a new path.
Him and Tracey have split...one of my stresses. Its nasty...very nasty. The eldest of his children has turned against him, sending him a nasty message.....a message that her Mum had a lot to do with I think as it was nearly word for word to what Tracey is always saying. She is always right.....and everyone else is always wrong. 
Really for all the troubles Simon is going through I honestly think he is doing the right thing. I can only hope that one day those kids will see it that way too. 

Dear Daughter....6 weeks!!
Look at that bump!!
We take her and William and Garry to airport on Tuesday, they fly to Melbourne for 3 days, then onto the Gold Coast and then Brisbane...be away for 3 weeks. On her return she will book in for a scan..
Is it 1, is it 2? 

Those exciting plans I was talking about for next year are still being planned.
Ted and I will be heading off on a "dream come true" holiday in May.
Will keep you updated.....

Just a quick one....

I need to sit down here and write more than I am today...but I haven't got the time.
Things are going on....Simon has walked out on Tracey and is not going back....after years of being put down he has finally had enough.  Pity it had to come to that as deep down Tracey has got a heart of gold, but she is very opinionated and its always HER way..so much so the kids are the same way as she is...        Anyways no time to express it all...no matter what happens I am there for him. 

Some good news.....

Shhhhhh she is keeping it very quiet for the moment....hard to do as she is very excited but there are reasons.


Weight 2.1 down in the last 2 weeks...its been a struggle, and this week hasn't got off to a good start. 

Time to move it...

A gain for me this....this playing catch up every week HAS TO STOP!!!
I indulged last Friday and Saturday after weighing in....and I have done the same this week.....so WHY am I doing this to myself??
I really want to get down to my goal but I keep sabotaging myself. That HAS TO STOP too!! 
If I want to get anywhere I need to get my head in the right place again, get those joggers out and use them and just move it !! 

Right onwards....and lets hope I haven't set for myself up for another gain this week....

Again....

It was Happy Birthday to my mum yesterday, the 2nd birthday we have had without her.
Was a horrid day for me....I really missed her. And yep....did my usual,  ate my emotions....
I could hear her saying "your ass won't fit in those jeans Jen" but all I wanted to do was drown my sorrows..
Talking about Mum this morning with hubby...and he made me realise even though we lost her when we didn't expect too we had her a lot longer than we thought we were going too. Mum survived bowel cancer in 1993 when she was in her 60's and then in 1994 she survived liver cancer....so we were lucky that we had her as long as we did.  And even if she had survived her stroke and her fall, she would have been in a lot of pain and she would have had to spend an awful lot of time in hospital and rehab and there is no way she would have liked that. Mum hated hospitals. 

Anyways....after a great week last week where I had a good loss on the scales....this week its going to catch up time again. 
I better get to it and stop the dilly dally'ing if I want to get on that ship in 4 months time weighing 10 kilo's less than I do now...

Yoyo'ing

That's me....a yoyo....
I really have to get myself sorted out....and focus and commit to my plan. 
Its only 4 months to our cruise and I want to lose more weight before we go.....but I keep sabotaging myself....that will HAVE to stop if I want to meet my goals. 
Its easy to say...now I just HAVE to commit.
Only lost a 100g this week...due to me overeating on the Friday after weigh in, continuing the pattern on Saturday before pulling my head in on Sunday and realising what I was doing to myself.
Exercise has been next to nil other than what I do at work...been so tired of late, lazy too...no excuse, I have had the time. 

So lets see if I can break the cycle. 

Happy is...

And ain't that the truth.....I just hugged that lady, she made my day...

Not only are the scales showing me that....
so is the tape measure....
And so is my diary...just love watching those numbers go down again...

The last 2 years have been absolute hell...and its great to finally be able to concentrate properly on me.  The overwhelming grief has gone, though some days I a memory, a photo, a song or just a thought will have me in tears..
In a couple of days it will 2 years to the evening that Paul came and told us he had terminal cancer and had only a little time left with us. 
I know that is the reason our troublesome one is in jail....what with that diagnosis, his death, followed quickly by Mum's accidental death and then Ted mum's, his grief overwhelmed him and drugs and alcohol numbed it all. I know I completely forgot that when we lost Rosemary in 1996, he as an teenager found them to numb his feelings then.  The troublesome one has a long road ahead of him.... 

Got a quote today on our trip of a lifetime. A few more things to iron out yet....but it looks like late May we will be travelling..... 

I'm back......

Not that I been anywhere....
Its been work and sick for me....yup I got the lurgy...

Last Wednesday I went to work feeling just a little ordinary....but as the day wore on I just started feeling worse...and worse. Throat felt like I had razor blades in it, and my head was pounding.... 

How I finished the day I don't know....  I left work 10 minutes before I was supposed too, but hey I couldn't stand it another minute. Drove home, gave hubby a hug, took some pain killers and fell into bed. Thankfully I had 2 days off because bed was where I stayed. I lived on sips of water....thats when I wasn't sleeping. 

Saturday morning I had a early shift, and though I wasn't 100% I made it through the shift, came home and just chillax'ed out in front of the fire.

Sunday work again, but thankfully I was 90% better, drink and small amounts of food were getting past the razor blades in my throat. 

Monday was a day of rest....no work thankfully so by Tuesday morning I was fully rested up and 95% ok. 

I am still not back to 100% but geee anything is better than feeling like I did Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. 

One thing it did do was get the weight down. Lost 1.3 and now at a number I haven't been in awhile. Regained some of my mojo and feel like I can finally get motivated again to lose these kilo's. I have a figure in my head that I would like to be by the time we go on our cruise at the end of October. 

The troublesome one is still inside. Every phone call we receive from him is full of him staying clean and finally doing something with his life when he gets out.  Lets hope so. I will support him all the ways I can...but till I see it happen I can't be confident that it will. Heard those words so many time before to no result. When will he be out...who knows, court dates come and go and they keep on getting deferred. 

He had a visit from DCP a few weeks ago, and all his kids have been taken off Hannah and her partner and put into full-time care. On speaking to DCP Hannah has not been protecting them....heck knows what those kids have been through. I have reported Hannah a few times after being told stories by the kids. So had Shawn. At least now they will be fully protected (hopefully) till they are 18 now. Shawn and I have not been denied any access. 

Ted's mum estate has all finally been settled. Ted and his 2 brothers received some dollars after the money was divided....and the grandchildren all received a few thousand dollars too. So Shawn will have a small gift from his Nanna to help him out later on.  Kylee is using hers to buy a 4x4 dual cab so she can take her little family off the beaten track fishing and gives her room to put her dogs in the back too.  Us, well we decided a long time ago we would live out a dream and go to the one country we have always wanted to visit.  Plans have been put in motion....