Back again...

Our dear daughter Kylee. She works longs hours during the day then comes home and does all the usual "wifey" chores and looks after William. Garry, goes to work when she comes home…he does nightfill at Woolies a few nights a week and from there he goes to his bakery and does all his baking. On weekends they both work in the bakery.

Beautiful beach that I did most of my walking on….beautiful clear blue skies…but the water was cold.

A creek that we visited, wish I had packed my fishing rod….would have loved to throw in a line, and a crab pot.

Me and the very happy and contented William. He hardly  cries, the only time I heard him cry in the 3 days we were there was when the food didn't go in his mouth quick enough. He is a credit to mum and dad…they share the looking after of him and they do a darn good job.

The above are from on the way home. It was wet and miserable just like my mood when we left Carnarvon….but the rainbow and the lovely yellow canola crops brightened my mood.
Only another 5 weeks and I will see the little family again.

Right….no weigh in today. I indulged while away and with 2 days of travelling and just sitting in the car my exercise was down to what it normally was. Didn't want to see a big number on the scale….so decided I will have a week of 100% tracking…and hopefully have a good result next Tuesday. 

Counting down….

Kylee has the twins up staying for the first week of the school holidays. She sent these pic to me last night…I just love the way all 3 of them are responding to each other…its just so cute. 

Just happy they all get on so well and Garry and his ex share the twins so William can grow up knowing his brother and sister.

Work is going to become very busy for me at the end of July, so next week hubby and I are heading up to see Kylee, Garry and William for a few days. I am counting down the days I can tell you.
Hope by then I have shaken of the last of this chest infection I picked up last weekend. Am alright through the day, but as soon as the night chill sets in I start coughing. I am keeping the house warm 24/7 and dosing myself up hoping I can rid myself of it. 

Weigh in last week I said goodbye to 1.4. Don't know if it was because I was good, or because I spent all last weekend in bed and hardly ate or if it was the changeover from night to day weighs….either way I'll take it.  Working hard to this week to have another loss as being on the road and visiting Kylee the following week is going to make "dieting" that bit harder. With the nicer weather I hoping to get William out in the pram and do lots of walking.

Trying to focus

We went into town and paid off the cruise yesterday, and were told we had 256 days till we sail.  Woweeeee…..is that all?
We only have our excursions to organise on the cruise and  our flights to Sydney. We are going to go to Sydney 4 days before we set sail as we have never spent time in Sydney and there are a few things we would like to see and do as heck knows if we'll get there again.

So this week I have been trying to focus just that bit more, as I want to drop at least another 10 kilo's (or more if I can) before we go. Two weeks of staying the same is ok, but its not good, it could have been better if I planned just that bit more.  Anyways, this week, so far I have been a bit better than last week, but once again I have been slack in the exercise department. Luckily my work as a cleaner makes for a lot of steps as really other than 2 jabber walks with my buddy thats all I have done. 
My pedometer died the other day so I went in to buy another…and on special was a fitbit zip, so I thought what the heck, everyone has been raving about these fit bits so I'll give this little itty bit thing a go. I might have made the wrong choice but its all I could afford, and its worn like a pedometer which I liked.

The week after next I am hoping to head up to Kylee's for a few days, can only get away for 5 days…2 of them will be in driving but any time with her, Garry and our lil William will be awesome. I miss them so much.

Onwards now, its work tomorrow morning, and come rain, hail or shine I will fit in a big long walk, and that will be repeated on Sunday and Monday.

Gotta stop...

this damn yoyo'ing…one week good the next week bad…and thats my fault. I have a great week, daily exercise, precise tracking, then the following week I relax bring in a few treats coz I have been good and "deserve" them, cut back the exercise and wham bam the scales tell me how damn silly I have been. Lucky this week the ww scales told me a stay the same (my scales say 300g gain) but either one tells me I haven't learnt my lesson. 
I know its not all about the numbers I see between my feet…but I also know this darn yoyo'ing I have been doing is not good at all!! Been doing it for too long now and thats another reason to stop it….its a habit I don't want to keep.
Right whine over…just get on and break that darn habit.

William and his walker. Just love that smile.

Been hoping to get up and see this little man, who is growing up way to quickly. He is nearly 6 months old now and I haven't seen him in what seems ages. The local aviation company had some cheap flights out last week but as fast as they came available they went…and I missed out. Now trying to talk hubby into taking me up there for a long weekend…its a 12 hour drive.Or if he can't I am seriously thinking of driving up there myself. I miss Kylee and the wee man. 
I talk to Kylee most days and she tells me what the little man is doing..he has mastered the walker very quickly and he follows her everywhere. Teeth are coming, red cheeks and dribble & drool most days. He loves his food and is trying to sit up on his own.
Now I am teary…distance is a pain….but know they need to be where they are for their own happiness. 

What a week...

phewwww…..where to start.
Hubby's mother, who is 89 this August, had a fall a few months ago….and that resulted in a few cuts and grazes.  Silver chain had been going around there most days dressing them but despite all the care one of the cuts developed an infection and turned into a ulcer.  Doctor visits and antibiotics didn't help and Mum ended up in hospital and put on intravenous antibiotics for 5 days.
It seemed to help but mum was in a lot of pain, and stronger pain killers were given and she was sent home.  She had only been home for 2 days and she was in a pain still so off to the Drs we sent her. Dr wasn't happy and sent her off to a surgeon and he put her straight in hospital  as the surgeon decided to operate on the leg and cut out the infection that seemed to be growing in the ulcer. 
On the day of the operation I worked and a elderly lady collapsed in the shopping centre right where I was cleaning. I and one other lady were the only 2 who were first aid trained and knew how to do CPR…so we started. Security rang for an ambulance while the phone operator stayed on the phone to the security guard who put the phone on speaker while I and the other lady worked on the elderly lady till the ambulance and attendants arrived.  I can tell you it left me very shaken….and more so when I heard she didn't survive.
Luckily my mother in law came through the op real well. We visited her the next day…and walked into her room to her having had an emergency bleed on the leg. Mums BP plummeted  to a real low while a surgeon had to stem the bleeding vein with a few stitches.  Thankfully mum once again came through that real well.  She is still in hospital and staff say the leg is healing slowly.

A friend of mine who I met on the weight watchers online community threads many years ago (and met personally a few times) was in Bunbury on the weekend…so we managed a couple of hours together over breakfast and coffee. Was a great end to a tough week or so.
Through all this I managed to control my emotional eating more this week and at weigh in last night  I managed to lose 1.7…so that got rid of the 1.2 I put on last week. I don't think I will go to a morning weigh in again while I am weighing in in the evening…it mucked my weight on the scales right up.
I will leave you with a pic of me and Erica…while I go ring mum. The weather her today is damn cold, wet and windy so think we'll leave a visit to her till tomorrow. She knew I was working today so won't be expecting us. 

Erica and I 

Happy Birthday Dad

Happy Birthday Dad. I love you and miss you so much. Hardly a day goes by that I don't think of you. You would be 84 today if you had lived. 13 years years you have been gone…wish you were still here. You would be so delighted with your little namesake William.
Rest in Peace my loveable larrikin.

Mummy and little William, aka Froggie.

C'mon Mummy and Daddy…this shopping thing is so boringggg….hurry up I need my cot!!
What a laid back lil man he is turning into.


Right, it hasn't been a bad week. 500g done this week. 10, 000 steps done every day last week, and thats my goal again this week. Had a touch of the miseries today, gone over points tonight but I needed that chocolate...

A month of weight watchers...

….. and I am thrilled to bits with a 2.9 loss for the month, 8cm gone…and I have achieved my 1st goal and lost 5% of what I need to lose. 

Its not been easy, but I am a lot more determined. Meeting last night was about commitment…and I committed myself to going to every meeting and staying for the talk.  Of course, there will a time when I can't but its going to have to be a good reason as to why I can't.

On that note, its nearly dinner time…so I am going to leave you with a pic of our little man who is 5 months old today.

Feeling determined

Shawn with his birthday boy Shayden



Yesterday I was meeting up with Shawn ( the troublesome one) to spend a couple of hours together before picking up his kids after school and having a little party for Shaydens 6th birthday which was on Wednesday.  Had been speaking to him earlier in the day and he seemed to be looking forward to it. Get there to pick him up and he was in one of "his moods"!! Obviously he had a argument with Shaz and then had a "bong" coz I could smell it on him. I ignored the mood till he started on me and said I only wanted to be with him today so I could tell what a mess up of his life he had made!!  I told him to get his shit together or I would drop him off at centrelink and go home..and he could ring his kids and tell them why he was acting liking a prick. With that I pulled up at centrelink, said do I stay or go while you go in and do what you had to do? He asked me to stay.  By this time I am absolutely starving as we were meant to be going to lunch so I had nothing before leaving home.  Anyways he comes out and apologises for being an asshole and we head off to Subway. I was not going to do what I usually do and eat my emotions. Shawn when he is like this is foul, the filth that pours out of his mouth is unbelievable…I use to wonder where did I go wrong.  Not now I don't, he chose to be like this, we did warn him…he knows where he went wrong, but I don't think he realises how unstable the cannabis has made him, or how physcotic he really is. 
Anyways it all turned out for the better, he shut up and seemed to enjoy the rest of his time with me, I think mainly because I bought him some tobacco and real smokes….and preceded to have a great hour or so with his kids at the park before the weather changed for the worse.  He truly does love his kids..and they know it and love him too.

The best thing about the day was, I resisted bad choices. I could have had a big greasy hamburger for lunch, but I chose subway. I could have stopped off at KFC, Red Rooster or Chicken Treat and bought a meal home after I dropped Shawn off….but I didn't. I stopped off at the supermarket and bought a cooked chicken, some coleslaw and I made us chicken and salad for dinner.  Go me…and its all thanks to Chris and the weight loss support group. The support is amazing. I DO have support at my ww group, but thats only once a week. This group is keeping me determined to stay on track.

This week...

Kylee took these pics today, isn't he just the happiest little chappy out…just love that grin of his. 

And this one was a full on laugh…not very often that he isn't smiling, his mum was much the same.

Been a full on day here today, woke up to rain this morning, it was pelting down when Deb came for our "jabber walk" so that didn't happen. We will walk if its just a drizzle, but it was just too heavy this morning.   But i think I got my steps in at work, as it pelted down on and off for most of the day…so trying to keep the floors dry kept me moving.  Got home tonight and I fell in a heap in my chair.

Well I had weigh in last night, a 100g gain showed. I wasn't expecting it, but on checking my tracking I realised it was my fault. Not only did I eat TOO much cheese,  my exercise was down to what it should have been.  So this week, I am going from healthy and filling and go back to counting points. I don't want to stay counting as I enjoy the relaxed program of healthy and filling so will only do this till I sort out this small gain.

Not much else is happening in the world of Jen, so I'll say goodnight till next time. 

Another week down...

Hope you all had a Happy Mother's Day.
I did nothing special. I saw my mum last weekend so didn't travel down to see her this weekend, but I did ring her and have a good natter with her.
I didn't see any of my kids, but I did here from all 4 of them so that made me happy.
In the afternoon we went up and saw Ted's mum….she was in 7th heaven as all her "boys" visited her…whilst we were there Ted's youngest brother called in too….and Ben had already visited.

                                                                                                                                                                             
Anyways, nothing much happening. I have work for the next 3 days, then on Friday I am heading up to Rockingham to catch up with my 2 best girlfriends. I will pick up Robyn in Mandurah and we'll be able to natter together before we meet up with Carol who is driving down from Perth.  My shopping list has only one item on it…a mini i-pad…

Right, weigh in tonight, 400 grams gone. I have worked hard for that this week, let myself down with exercise…but will do better this week. 
Stayed for the meeting, finding it is keeping me motivated, then came home and ate my pre-cooked dinner while watching my tv show.

Now..its goodnight from me. 

A to Z of me….

A is all about acceptance. I must learn to take and receive advise offered to me. I am a good one for giving it to others but not understanding and accepting it from others. 
B is all about books. Ahh I love books and reading, nothing better than curling up on the lounge in front of the fire…or in bed with a good book.
C is for our cruise….roll on March next year.
D is for diet….say no more!
E is for feeling like an ELEPHANT!! 
F is for family. Love all mine, though boy sometimes they do frustrate me too!!
G is for grandchildren…whats that saying..If I knew grandkids were going to be this much fun I would have had them first.!! My eldest is now 18, then I have 3 pre-teens, a 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 2 x 6, a 5 year old, then adopted 4 year olds…and our little William.  oh boy where have all the years gone. Now they are older I don't get to see them often as I would like.
H is for husband. Nearly 33 years together and still going strong, though in saying that it hasn't always been easy. 
I is for me..it is all about me. This is my time, to learn to love me again. 
J is for jumpers….had to drag mine out these past few days, its getting cold. Fire has been lit these past few nights.
K is for kids, whether they be mine or my grandkids….love having little ones in my life.
L is for love…it sure does make the world a happier place.
M is for mums. My mum is 85 soon. I saw her on Sunday, and she is looking so frail. Happy to see she has put on a few kilo's…she was down to 48 kilo's a few months back. And there is Ted's mum, she is 89 in August and now can't walk without a walker. She has had a few falls of late and now as a result of the last one an ulcer has formed on her leg from a graze that didn't heal. A real worry both of them.
N is for nip..nor the weather has cooled down I have been enjoying a "wee nip" of port of an evening. It helps me relax after a days work, and it helps me sleep too.
O is for overseas. Hope to do a few trips after the cruise. One on the cards is another trip to New Zealand as we only stop at a few places on the cruise. Would love to go to Canada, don't think we can afford that…not unless we win lotto.
P is for people. In my job I come across some very rude ones that think cleaners are the lowest of the low. I don't care…I work hard in my job and take pride in what I do. 
Q is for quote…and my quote at the moment is I can do, and I will do...
R is for relief. Relieved that I saw the deal on ww and I jumped at it by raiding my savings. Relieved coz I won't like wasting my money…as so far week two I am already keeping myself in the zone...
S is for star sign. I am a Pisces..It's a pair of Fish that represents Pisces, a symbol that prompts others to suggest that these people 'go with the flow' and 'don't make waves.' Both of these labels are true, since Pisces are fluid and easy-going. The fact that two fish (as opposed to one) represent the members of this sign also speaks to the duality of Pisces, their yin and yang sensibility. Pisces alternate between reality and non-reality in keeping with their introspective natures.  Pisces can be hard to pin down, prompting some to call them the chameleons of the zodiac. Pisces are compassionate, charitable and will quickly put the needs of others ahead of their own. It's this kind of self-sacrifice that keeps these folks going. The flip side to their giving natures is that the oft-timid Fish are likely to be taken advantage of by less well-meaning souls. This is so me…I am told I am a real pisces.
T is for travel. Trip this year will be just up to Carnarvon to see daughter and William. Next year we have the cruise and trip to Queensland planned.
U is for understanding…something fortunately that my husband is. 
V is for victory…I will win this weight battle…again.
W is for William, love that I saw him briefly this weekend. 
X is for X-ray…got to go in for one soon.
Y is for you…yes you reading this…without you and your support I am on my own…thank you for being there.
Z is for Zumba…must get out my DVD and do it now that the weather is becoming crappy and cold.

Kylee traveled down from Carnarvon on the weekend, arriving Friday night towing a big trailer to pick up all her household stuff she had stored here. She and Garry needed it all now that they have their own place. I had the pleasure of looking after this lil one while Kylee sorted out all her gear and loaded it all in the trailer. We had a few family members come around Friday night for dinner to see them so the lil man had smiles for everyone…and it was great for them to see Kylee as heck knows when they will make it down this way…they are stony broke now. Anyways Saturday lunchtime Kylee was gone again….and made it back to Carnarvon safe and sound. 

Right…to end this tonight…it was weigh in night, 1.1 gone. Roll on next week, menu's to plan now, so goodnight till next time. 

Excitement.

Us and our best friends at their sons 30th birthday.

Love this pic…even an alright one of me considering the extra weight I am carrying. It was taken up at Geraldton at the surprise party we went to, Thomas  was really surprised, he had no idea the party had been organised….everyone kept the secret, his wife Leah who he is cuddling did a awesome job in organising it along with Thomas's sister Jemma who is with Leah in front.  Other than the band being too loud in the small venue we were in it was a top night. 

This saying I saw on the weight watchers site on Monday…and  it made me realise that I really need to do something instead of talking about it, talking about it is not working!!!! Then I saw a special deal that ww had going, so I raided my savings and clicked on the promotion and paid 3 months in advance, printed out the receipt then that evening I took myself off to a meeting. I have made a promise to myself that I am NOT going to waste my money, I am going to do this. I WILL attend every meeting and stay for the meetings. My leader is new, she went solo for the first time on Monday, I really liked her…her talk was quite inspiring. So for the first time in a long time I am feeling inspired.

Our wee William….I love this little man. And this weekend I get to have more cuddles. Kylee is coming down to pick up her furniture. Her and Garry are moving out of Garry's mums house….things are not too good there….and have rented their own place. 

Don't blame them actually, we weren't impressed with the cleaniness of the house when we moved them up there! Its going to make things very tight money wise but they'll get there. Kylee thinks its quite funny that she is actually an owner of her own house and yet has to rent!!  

William

William

Love that smile

William and Pop

Our Easter Bunny William

Had a fantastic Easter weekend up in Geraldton with our friends. We went up for their sons surprise 30th birthday on the Saturday night.
Kylee and Garry called in on their way down to Perth to pick up the twins and asked if we would like William for the night…..ohhh yes we did!!!  
Such a happy little man…a delight to have.

Ate too much chocolate, drank too much wine….but now back on track, I hope...

A better week...

ahhhh what a relief…I had a better week. 

 I kept on telling myself…"eat what you have planned", and if you're hungry eat fruit!! And thats what I did. Even tried out a few different recipes…and much to my delight they went down a treat…even hubby enjoyed. It, I admit,  hasn't been easy, I have been on and off track, more off than on for too long now that I have made it hard on myself.  I am encouraged to keep at to now, jumped on the scales this morning and it showed me a loss.
So one week down and done and dusted.

And to finish…here's William. He turns 15 weeks this week. Not long now and I get to have a cuddle…come Easter we are heading up to Geraldton to friends for a surprise birthday party…and Kylee and Garry are heading down to Perth to pick up the twins for the school holidays…they will using Geraldton as a stop and cuppa break both ways…CAN NOT WAIT... 

Another week wasted...

This week has gone just so damn fast, the weekend even faster….and what have I done…just wasted it.
Beginning of the week I had got myself together, was following a program and felt good about myself and my efforts.
Come Thursday…visitors arrived for the big speedway weekend…and I was prepared, Thursday night dinner organised, as were meals for Friday. Saturday was rained out…so my mood turned the same and the pattern was set for a blow out.
Now I am disgusted with myself and my lack of restraint..I have plied myself with treats throughout  the day and consoled myself as only I can by eating junk. 
I now try to prepare myself with menu's for tomorrow and getting myself back on the wagon. 
Boy am I finding this hard, but if I want to make myself healthier and fitter I need too…its 11.5 months to our cruise.
I AM NOT A QUITTER…I can do this, just get to get through that first week and stay totally on track….and then I might remember how good that feeling is again. Keep on going like I am the weight is only get higher and its going to be harder and harder to get off.

Our friend Trev who was racing this weekend. He and another good  friend travelled down for the weekend and hubby and I were pit crew keeping him and the car on the track. 

Some of the cars that were racing…showing this one as the car in 4th position was crowned WA #1…he was rocket on the track and kept us enthralled with his neat, clean and fast driving….the car was a rocket on wheels….his crew had it singing!!!

And can't leave without the latest collage of our little William. 

William is growing up….

11 weeks and look what I can do



This little man is the highlight of my life at the moment, thank heavens Kylee keeps in regular contact and sends me all these little snippets of William.  I miss them so darn much.



Been a very topsy turvy week. Last Thursday I caught up with my nieces for coffee…and left before lunch as we had an appointment at the post office to submit forms for our passports. On the way home my mobile rang…I checked it and saw it was hubby, so I pulled over as I don't have hands free in my little car to answer him….and he said would I go to his mum's instead of home as I was needed there. He reassured me his mum was ok….BUT i knew something had happened as hubby very very rarely even turns on his mobile!
And it was bad news…hubby's Aunty Coral, his mums younger sister had passed away. She was nearly 87. Hubby's mum is nearly 89 and of course that news has upset her very much….so a lot of our time this week has been spent with her.

Exercise has been good so far this week again…but food…pfffffft…
Hopefully once the funeral is over, life might go back to normal again. 
Why is that whenever there is any stresses in my life I eat….yet my mum and my sister tend to forget to eat!!  I must take after my fathers side of the family….my mum reckons I do, and remembering my Dad's sisters I can see that I do…

Anyways…as per usual I haven't given up.  I have just under 12 months to lose the weight…as the cruise IS BOOKED !!

We fly to Sydney from Perth and board the boat on the 16th March next year.  We go to NZ, stopping at Wellington, Picton, Dunedin, Dusky Sound, Doubtful Sound, then onto Melbourne,  Adelaide then disembark back in Perth WA.
I so can't wait….
if the above is not incentive enough to lose the kilo's then I don't know what will. 

Mummy fed me...

More bad days than good...

But I haven't given in…I will keep on persisting. The clothes are tight, make that very tight..and I refuse to buy any new ones in a bigger size.
And I now have more than my health to think about. Today, hubby and I went and organised our passports….as next year we are doing a cruise….look out New Zealand …. I am a coming to visit !!!  Excited much….
Now its just get my act together and just do it ehhh?  Easier said than done sometimes, but I am thankfully am stubborn so its just a matter of trying, trying and trying again till that good old mojo kicks in again. Hope its soon…sometimes I feel bloody ancient, I am just too heavy and my bones keep on telling me so.

Now to finish…..

 Wee little William having his first taste of veggies...

and one of those cute smiles of his that I miss …hasn't my little man grown so much?  I get to see him next month…...something else to get excited about.

Time to wake up to myself….

me and my gorgeous niece Tammi

The gorgeous bride Crystal and handsome groom, my nephew Tom

 These pics are taken at my nephews wedding…aren't my niece and nephew just gorgeous…I love these kids. 

Me with Tom and Tammi, my twin niece and nephew.

Family pic.

This pic was my wake up call this morning, I realised how fat and horrible looking I have become….omg what have I done to myself??
Today, I have thought about this pic as I have worked. Farkkk no wonder my feet hurt, and feel so goddamn unhealthy!! I had a few chores to do at work today..chores that I used to find easy, today after seeing that pic I realised why I struggle. 
Tomorrow it has to be 120% on track and as many days as I can thereafter!!
                                                                         

My gorgeous wee little William..


And to end the post…I can't go without sharing this gorgeous pic of my little man William. Thankfully Kylee sends me lots of pics….and we have FaceTime whenever we can.
I really want to be able to run and play with this little man…another reason to lose this damn weight I have put back on!!
I am ashamed of myself…but its up to me now to make those changes again..done it once, surely I can do it again.

Home again...

 We are home again after travelling over a 1,000 kilometres up the coast to move our daughter and little William…and then a 1,000 k's back again. 
Boy was it heart wrenching walking away from them….I sobbed my heart out….till hubby pulled our vechile over and said you drive, concentrate on that instead of leaving them behind.
We towed a trailer with all of her and Williams belongings…and hopefully as the house she will live in with Garry , his mum and uncle is small it will be be big enough to house them all. They have been renovating, painting etc….and when we arrived the house was turned upside down. I was not impressed with the mess….but I am sure Kylee will get in there and make sure it is cleaned and made healthy enough for William.

Diet…well we won't go there…this last week has been very emotional…and I have eaten every single one of them.
Tomorrow is a new day. 

pfffffffft

 I was going so well up to 3 days ago, then I started helping Kylee pack her house up ready for the move next week. Now I am a real sook, someone mention Kylee moving…or I think about it, I cry and I start eating.  I know she has to move, she needs her man and William needs his Daddy, over 12 months of a long distant relationship is long enough!! 
But boy am I going to miss them. 
Trying desperately to try and reel myself in….but its so darn hard.
So NO weigh in tomorrow…I KNOW my weight is up.
Tomorrow is another day….I will try to not to eat my emotions. I have a wedding to go to on the 1st March, my nephew that I re-connected with a few years back…and I have bought myself a stunning dress, I won't fit into it if I keep this up!!