Now thats over.....

Now I am in the clear, I can stop the stressing, stop the emotional eating and get my weight under control. Since the first recall back for mammograms I have some good days, some bad days and some goddamn awful days...but now this weekend is almost over its time to get myself under control. I have celebrated too well these past few days. 
I know, I know, I say it over and over...but hey one of these days, hopefully this time around,  I will manage to do it. Its a matter of having too...my weight has gone up to an all time high...I have hit the 80's, a good 10 kilo's plus over my goal weight. My goal is to get under 80 by Christmas...small steps...just small steps...

Yayyyy

I am HAPPY....

Yesterday I had my ultrasound. On it they could see the mass in my breast was a cyst, but because it had some "white" spots through it they decided to give me a fine needle aspiration and drain the cyst, which they did, and have sent it off to pathology. The Dr that drained it said not to worry as he is 98% sure it is benign and the "white" spots showing in it is more than likely caused through my thyroid condition. My Dr will ring me on Monday and tell me the results.

Hubby and I went out for dinner last night and celebrated.

ohhh boy am I glad that is all over.

Waiting, waiting, waiting

Today I heard from Global Diagnostics and my ultrasound is next Friday...the earliest they can fit me in as IF I have to have a fine needle aspiration I have to time and technicians allocated for that.  I could go to Mandurah ( 40 minutes up the road) and have a ultrasound there tomorrow BUT if I do that and I need the aspiration I have to come back and get yet another referral for that.....SO I WAIT!!  Dr has told me there is every chance I will need the aspiration as it has to show up 100% cyst for them not too.....

So whats been happening?

phewww well not a great deal really....though to a stress pot like me, a lot.

I finally, after 2 close friends got diagnosed with breast cancer went for my mammogram. They say its been quite a few years since I have been in there....and to tell the honest truth I can't remember when I did go, remiss of me I know ....maybe I have a blog entry. Anyways...the first mammograms came back inconclusive, so went back for another lot a week later. Another phone call to say those ones said right breast okay, come in we need to take more pics of the left one, something in behind the nipple is not right. A phone call on Monday tells me there is definetely a mass behind the nipple and they tell me not to worry but all my paperwork and scans have been sent to my Dr and they want him to refer me to get a ultrasound done. Please don't worry they say....how can you not worry !!

The pictures above are how I am coping. I love the beach, must have something to do with being a Pisces, coz as soon as step foot on the beach I just chill. The sounds of the waves just calms me....so I walk Shera and I leave there refreshed. I have deferred Curves for a while till this is solved and when I am not walking with my girlfriend I will be getting my excersise here.

Eating, well thats been hit and miss....somedays good, others better.....it seems to be evenings that I just want to eat all my problems away.

Time and time I try.....

.......and lately time and time again I fail and let myself down.
I know what I have to do, I plan, I plot, I track....and then again I let myself down and indulge. Then think...damn done it again, ohh welll finish it off and start another day tomorrow. Then tomorrow I do it again...one big vicious never-ending circle.

I was going so well for a while there till menopausal hot flushes began AGAIN , along with the damn hot flushes, the mood swings, the dry skin, itchy skin and all the other hormonal crap. Saw my doctor and he put me on some new meds....but I have had to take myself off them, they just made things worse.

Heck knows what size I would be without all the excersise I do....I am loving all the beach walks I am managing with Shera.

  

My daughter has returned from her European tour and she has spoilt me rotten...these handmade earrings...in my favourite colour. Some gorgeous perfumes and beautiful clothes.
Kylee had a trip of a lifetime....loved every minute of it, but is so happy to be home. Lots of memories for her. She is reliving them at the moment as she shows us all her photo's and diaries. 

Time to go...and draw up yet another plan, another menu...and hope one of these tomorrows I find the balance I need to lose these kilo's I need to.

Just yummy

I tried this last night, it was simply deeeevine. I served it on a bed of brown rice. Hubby who is not a fan of curries, or rice,  demolished all of his...and enjoyed it muchly. This recipe is a keeper :-)

Sweet and Sour Slow Cooker Chicken Curry

PointsPlus™ Value:    8 Servings:  4 Preparation Time:  10 min Cooking Time:  240 min Level of Difficulty:  Easy

Pop this Indian-inspired dish into a slow cooker and enjoy a warm meal … hassle-free.

Ingredients 1 pound(s) uncooked boneless skinless chicken breast(s), cut into 1-inch pieces   (I used chicken thighs) 1 large green pepper(s), cut into 1-inch pieces    1 large uncooked vidalia onion(s), sliced   (I used a brown onion) 14 1/2 oz stewed tomato(es)  ( I used a small tin)  1/2 cup(s) mango chutney    1/4 cup(s) water    2 Tbsp cornstarch    1 1/2 tsp curry powder    Instructions Place chicken, pepper and onion in a slow cooker; top with tomatoes. Mix together remaining ingredients in a small bowl. Pour over chicken mixture, cover and cook on low heat for 4 hours. Yields about 1 1/2 to 2 cups per serving.

Kitchen

 These are pics of the kitchen before...forgive the mess but this was as I was packing up minutes before hubby decided to wreck the place.  Things were EVERYWHERE !!!  But look at the daggy old shelves, I had no cupboard space....it was so out-dated !!

These were taken this morning...nearly everything is done. The pantry door is going, we have a new one and that is being painted the same colour as the cupboards. Haven't got our new splashback yet as we are undecided on the colour....at this stage I have decided on a ice blue colour.  

Whats been happening?

Sheymus, Jessica, Thomas and Zoe

Not a real lot. Getting quite frustrated with the kitchen, so want to show you all....but still waiting for a few things before it is finished. Need the electrician to come back and put a switch into the fridge recess so I can move that to where it belongs. A cupboard door that we had to send back as it was the wrong colour hasn't been replaced yet. A rack for one the cupboards has yet to be fitted....but I guess in time it will be ALL done.

I had the grandees this weekend. So awesome, haven't had time with them for ages. Mum and Dad went to Perth for a seminar so I had them all weekend. The happy bunch above is them waiting impatiently for their mini pizza's too cook :-)
Jessica told me some exciting news while she was here, she has been selected in the STATE team for  a PCYC gymnastics event in a few weeks time....how awesome ehh, one very proud Jenna here.
All 4 of them are very athletic and enjoy competing.

A very busy few weeks for me coming up, from now till the 17th October I will be working fulltime again...weekends off thankfully. Money I guess will come in handy and most of the shifts are early morning ones...so afternoons will be mine.  Thankfully as on Thursday evening my daughter flies off on a trip of a lifetime to Europe.

Weigh in this morning....another 500g off, whatever I am doing is right...long may it last.

Well must run....due for work shortly.  

September on our block

Golden yellow Grevillea

Geraldton wax

Bacon and Egg

Donkey Orchid

Cowslip Orchids

All going well here.
Have had some absoluteeeely gorgeous days here and this weekend it is meant to be even nicer...going to enjoy it. Definetly Spring has sprung.
Going to get some gardening in, lots of weeds in the garden need to be gone.
Also hoping to get into town and look at a Macro lens for my camera....these pics were taken on a macro setting but need a macro lens to get the detail just right.
We have over 2.5 acres has our house block and a lot of it we have kept natural bush, lots of gorgeous orchids and wildflowers pop up. Have some hibiscus and my roses, but to make it easier on us we plant as many native plants as we can. The birds love it too...love watching them flittering around the shrubs.

Weigh in was earlier this week, another good loss, long may it last.

Kitchen should be finished this weekend, only waiting on a cupboard door, one was sent in the wrong colour. Pics will go up soon.

All going good

We are heading into the football finals...my West Coast Eagles play in a elimination finals this weekend. Go Eagles...you can do it....

Last week I went to a seminar hoping, but at the same time very sceptical, that what I was going to hear and do would help me lose weight.
I walked out of the seminar 2 hours later, still very sceptical, but I put into practise  what he said to do...and this week I have had a loss of 1.3 kilo's.
My girlfriend went to the same seminar the week before and is doing exceptionally well, having lost 5 kilo's already.
Will see what the next few weeks bring.

Kitchen is coming along....hopefully this weekend it should be finished....and yes I promise pics will go up. Just been looking for some old pics....but couldn't find any, BUT I did take a few before we started, not good ones but enough for you to see the transformation...I do love it !!
Only decision we will have to make is the splashback behind the cooktop....going to leave the old tiles that are there for now until we decide on the colour of the new one. Maybe when you see the pics you can give me your thoughts...I want something that will bring out the duller colours in the bench tops.

Right, time to go....have a lunch date today and I haven't even started any housework yet.

Going to try...

.....And that it is. I am working towards a new one.

I have been trying and trying for months to get on top of my weight....every day being a new day I keep on trying, I have never quit, I have detoured occasionally though.
 But with menopause, hormones, thyroid and stress it just hasn't been doing anything but go up.
Had more blood tests the other day....and awaiting results. Other than the hormones hitting rock bottom and being low in vitamins nothing has been found yet to cause my weight to continue to gain and me to be feeling blahhh.
Had  a loss at my ww meeting the other night though, 350grams

But anyways my g/f went to see someone the other week as her weight had climbed to the highest it had ever been due to a lot of health problems, but her habits, her way of thinking since she saw this man has changed and her weight is now going down.
I am off to see the same person on Thursday....and if I have the same success as my g/f I will let you know what I have been up to.  

Anyways kitchen update.....its getting close to completion. Waiting for the last of our order and we will be finished. Oven is in, worked once, then it started making a noise....waiting for someone to come and fix...very annoying...a brand new 1,700 oven, used once...... I not happy.
Cooktop is brilliant...I love it and my new bench tops...
Still undecided on my splashback colour...going to wait till everything else is done to see what will look the best.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

When I hit rock bottom I hit it with a crash.
I have done that ....NOW I have to suck it up and get over it. Thought I had today, the day started real well,  but nahhhh I hit the pantry this afternoon and found food and ate, and ate, and ate....

Why? Why?
No reason really....none at all. 

Tonight I have stood in front of my mirror after I spent some time looking at my "at goal" pics and I really looked at myself.  NOW I have to realise that the 10 kilo's I have put on is now a little more that that....AND if I am not careful it is going to be back where I was before I started this journey. 
I have to stop "losing the plot" when I gain a little, cos every time I do, I gain more....that vicious circle has to stop!!! I have to be kind to myself....  

NOW how do I dig deep and find that mojo again.....and keep it ??

pffffffffft

Thats what I said at weigh in last night....when the scales for the second week said GAIN!!!!  Why I haven't figured out yet....as I have been doing every thing right. Well my tracker says so, exercise is perfect, I have been taking my thyroid tabs....sooooooooo I can only imagine that soon the scales are gonna go down.

Its disheartening but I'll hang in there, just have to. If I say pffffffft and go out and binge it'll only make it harder on me, so its suck it up, get over it and move on.

Have been busy....

Life has been real busy. Working 5 days a week, busy with family and organising my new kitchen on the weekends...."me" time has been rare. No matter getting this new kitchen, even if it is DYI, is a dream come true. Off into Bunnings again tomorrow to pick up some more of our order, Ted has built up all the ones we bought home last weekend. Will have to wait a month or more for all the doors, but that gives us time to get all the cupboards built and then its onto the fun job of wrecking the grotty old kitchen and putting the new one in :-)
And YES will definitely put up some old and new pics.

My poor computer which has been a "lemon" since I bought it has been retired. Darn thing was rattling and making very very weird noises so spent more money and bought a new one...a Apple Mac.  Very different I can tell you BUT I am loving it so far.


Weight...is going down, slowly but surely. Have had a few little lapses but on the whole I am staying on track.
Will have a bit more time to prepare menu's, cook and freeze meals now, my 10 week full-time stint has finished and I am now back to my 2 days a week and  any relief shifts in the town shopping centre.

Day of rest....

Today I have a day off....one that I really really need. I have been working fulltime for 6 weeks now and its really taken its toll, heck knows how I used to cope when I was out on the farm working.
Anyways today I have planned nothing much at all...except a catch up with one of my neices for lunch....which I am really looking forward to.

This has been me of late. It seems to get out of control after work and the last few days I have been super bad!  Today is a day all about "me" and I think its because its been all work, work, and work and no "me" time thats bought on the eating. Hopefully because I have aknowledged it I can keep it under control.

Now....super news. My kitchen renovation that I have been wanting is going to at long last happen. The rangehood, the cooktop, the oven., dishwasher..and the kitchen sink have been bought...and plans are just about done. Its a flat-pack, diy, but its being done to MY design, MY choice...so I am happy.

Family

C 'mon its ice-cream time

 Shawn had his access visit on the weekend. Decided as Kylee is doing night shifts that we would take them down the park. They had a ball down there, the park is on the edge of the estuary, so the kids were able to run around and enjoy the wonderful weather. Whilst they were playing I went over to the shops and bought them all fish and chips...they thought it was awesum!!
Just after they finished lunch, Kylee came down and joined in the fun...she loves her neices and nephews, and tries to spend as much time as she can with them.

Brother and Sister

She, despite all Shawn's " troubles" gets on well with him. Just wish for the sake of himself and his health, and for his kids...he'd give up his "habit" and live a drug free life. Each day I pray that he does as the more he uses the more he tends to "need" it !
We had a meeting today with his case worker from DCP ....his access visits are soon going to be changed to twice monthly...one visit with him at his house (Shawn is meeting her at his house on the 19th) and the other here at mine. Instead of all day visits, they will be 4 hourly so the kids get good quality time. After a full day visit they tend to get tired and grumpy...

Anyways...its been a long week...this working fulltime is very tiring...but its enjoyable too. The $$'s are sure handy too.

Weigh in was last night, a stay the same...

ABC

A...is for active. 4 or 5 days a week see me going to Curves, followed by a 30 to 45 minute walk with the dog.
B...is for breakfast, which is a daily must, whether it be a cooked one, which I usually do on the weekends, or cereal which I usually have weekdays.
C...is for comfort, after a busy day nothing better than coming home and donning my pj's.
D...is for diet...at the moment it is good :-)
E...is for exercise, which I get plenty of.
F...is for fuel...which is what I am doing with my food, making sure I eat the right foods to keep my body going.
G...is for good, and thats what I am feeling right now.
H...is for happy..that I am :-) 
I...is for icy...its damn cold here !!
J...is for Jenna...my favourite name..love my grandies.
K...is for kitchen....still waiting, waiting, waiting for my new one :-(
L...is for lazy...can't wait for a lazy weekend....
M...is for mum, happy that mine is still with us.
N...is for neices and nephew....so happy that they have re-connected with us...the smile all their faces show how happy they all are.

Tom, Tammi, Kylee and Tasha

 O...is for open. My house was open on Sunday to my lovely neices and nephew and their delightful partners and children.
P...is for my pj's...my favourite piece of clothing at the moment. Now that I am working fulltime I love to come home and have a hot shower and don the old flannette pj's :-)
Q...shhhhh gotta be quiet...dear daughter has started night shift...12 midnight to 8am.....
R...is for right...everything seems to be right in my little world at the moment.
S...is for Sister..and seeing her big smile on Sunday meeting our nephew and neices....and the lovely phone call I received that night from her thanking me for sharing the day with her.
T...is for thanks for all the blessings in my life at the moment.
U...is for the understanding my family and friends have given me the past few months as I struggled with my health.
V...is for voucher, I have one to spend when I lose 5 kilo's.
W...is for wages....loving the extra money the extra hours are giving me.
X...is for x-ray, glad I didn't have to have one.
Y...is for yogurt...my favourite sweet. I have found a unsweetened and flavoured greek yogurt, its so creamy and filling.
Z...is for zone...I am in the right zone, long may it last.                   

Tomorrow night....

I am back off to my little weight watchers meeting.
I just have to go....I NEED to hop on those scales in front of someone and have the number read out. It HAS to sink in that the number is getting TOO high....and despite the health problems I have been having I HAVE to get my eating under control.
I have been better than what I was....but I am still self-sabotaging myself by eating crap!!  I know that I am doing wrong...but I seem to think that I will get it under control and " a little bit won't hurt" !  But those little bits are getting bigger "little bits" !
 

 Right...its on with it again...I can't let my weight get away from me...I refuse to...I can do it, can't I?

Storms...

We have had a week of really bad weather...storms with very strong winds getting up to 140k's an hour have buffeted the south west. A lot of damage has been recorded all through the south west. We have been lucky, a few trees have blown down on our block, lots of branches and debris but no damage to our house or sheds. Our power was off for a few hours most days during the week...but in some area's power still  has not been restored. 

Health wise...I am slowly getting on top of things.  
Unfortunately last week I was also struggling with a bad back, and unable to go to Curves or do much walking....but I started back at Curves again on Monday. Today I had my 2nd assessment...results were not as bad as I thought they would be...weight was higher than when I started but I am dealing with that...next month it will be down again!!
 

Slowly improving

Am slowly on the improve. Still have a appetite but with the help of lots of water and vitamins I am keeping it under control, well better than I was.
Blood results showed my hormones have hit rock bottom, vitamin levels are low as is my iodine levels....and thyroid doses need to be slightly increased.
Doctor says it is a combination of thyroid and menopause....and if I can get the hormone levels up, increase my dosage of oroxine and vitamins (espesially vitamin D) I will get back to normal.
It seems to be improving daily and it needs too...the scales have hit a number that is higher than it has been for 5 years.

Now on with the re-connection of our family with my neices and nephews.  
Above is my brother, Tasha, Tammi, mum and Thomas. They all met up at the Dome on Monday...unfortunately I had to work but my time will come again. I have connected with Tammi and her husband a few times but as yet I haven't met up with Tash or Tom.
I have started the scrapbook for them. Tammi took it at our last meet up and has said Tash & Tom love it. I have worked on a few more pages for them and I am enjoying it.

Its nearly bedtime for me. I have started working 5 days a week and I am in my first week of it...its tiring! I am used to just 2 days a week plus the odd shift here and there. 
I have 8 weeks of this...going to miss my days at home, but the extra $$'s are going to come in handy.