After last weigh in...

 Things got pretty hectic leading up to Christmas, what with work, babysitting, a few outings so my attention to my eating suffered. A lot of grab and eat on the run....this led to a bit of a gain on the scales.

But Christmas is over now....and we have had the last birthday of the year which was Master William's 7th. He was on his access visit to his Dad so he had Boxing Day and his birthday on the 27th with him...then he was dropped off back to his Mum later on in the afternoon so Mum was able to have time to celebrate too. I get my turn tonight 😀

Christmas here was quiet. Had Christmas breakfast here with Kylee, William and Summer plus her man Micheal and his 2 daughters. Bedlam here for a few hours which was fun. Of course Shawn and Skye were here too so lots of fun and laughter.  Micheal left to get his daughters to their Mothers for lunch and Kylee followed with her 2 and I then took Skye into town to spend the rest of her day with her Mum. Mum has only Skye's sister home with her...well that is until she decides to run amok again. Between her and her brother they have spent more time in court than they have anywhere else. They too are meant to be in foster care BUT NO ONE can control them. Actually the eldest boy is in detention now.  I even refuse to have them visit here as they get very aggressive and abusive when disciplined. The youngest boy is in a happy foster care situation but we are still waiting for our access visits to see him. 

Simon and his son Sheymus rang to wish us Merry Christmas as they were out camping, Simon with his lady friend Tammy who also yelled out greetings 😋 As for the rest of Simons kids....have not heard from his daughters since Simon and Tracey split, though do see the other boy Thomas every now and then. 

Tanya and kids left early to go bush camping, so I didn't get to see them. When I rang to ask when I could drop gift around they had already gone. Very sad to say every year since Paul has been gone (5 years now) Tanya has drifted further and further away from us. Can honestly say in the 5 years we can count on 1 hand the amount of times she has been out here. 

Sad that our family has come to this. Its not our fault Simon and Tracey broke up, but because I am Simon's mum I get punished along with Simon. Tanya has always even when with Paul favoured her family over ours. I just don't get why we get left out.  As for Shawn's ex and kids....well she and her deadbeat partner have a lot to answer too. They had the kids taken away because of their neglect. It has traumatised the kids and thats the cause of a lot of their behaviour. Skye has settled in here real well but misses her Mum. Mum at least is trying to turn her life around but too late to stop the 2 middle kids going off the rails. 

So after all that...my family that I have left and us had a good day. Christmas Day afternoon was spent sleeping and eating. 

Anyways will leave you with William celebrating his birthday with Mummy's at Micheal's. Don't you just love the look on Summer's face behind him. Too cute.  

Going down.....

 Weigh in day yesterday....down a kilo. But I did work hard for it. Im enjoying how relaxed I can be and yet still eat properly and yes even indulge in a few little treats, yes they are low carb ones too 😀 Long may this last for me. 

Its been a pretty hectic full on week actually. Work has been crazy, the shopping centre so busy, lots of mess, lots of spills....and headache material...lots of screaming kids!! 

William has finished school for the year. Not a bad school report either, but not happy with his school, he needs to be challenged more and the schools dwindling numbers don't help. So many students have left and maybe William will be joining them next year. Have sent in application to have him go to the school his Mum and Uncle went too which is close by. 

Young Master was meant to start vacation swimming just after Christmas. But first day of his holiday and what does he do? He goes out to play and was naughty and moved the trampoline from where it was....he knows thats a big no no!! Starts being silly on it, falls and lands on a picket! Very badly hurt his leg. I had to ring his mum and get her to meet me at the hospital emergency. Master ended up having to have surgery to stitch the wound and spend a night in hospital. A unfortunate way for him to learn a lesson. And a way to give me a few more grey hairs!! 

Luckily he got to participate in the colour run before this happened.

Will leave you with a few pics of his colour run.....and one of his mummy and him just before he went into surgery.

 

Another week....

 And I have been mostly on track, a few minor hiccups but nothing drastic. And the result being a loss of 500grams. I’m slowly heading back to where I was before I went off the rails. Let’s see if I can continue and NOT self sabotage when I get to that number 😏

Christmas and all the festivities are beginning so let’s hope I can keep a lid on the over indulging. I hope I can. We don’t go to a lot of parties, and we don’t have a work one as there is always one or two that are working shifts so we can never get a full crew.

Christmas Day here will be a quiet one I believe. Simon has a new lady and I believe he is staying up at hers to celebrate, that way he is also closer to his kids if they want to see him. Still nasty with him and his ex. His two daughters don’t have anything at all to do with him, actually abuse him if they see him. And because we are his family they don’t acknowledge us either. Luckily his two boys do. One is actually living with his Dad and lady.  So I am not expecting to see them on the day. 

Tanya and her 3 I hardly see much of at all. Since COVID started Tanya’s hours increased as she is a carer for the Multiple Scerosis Society. I see her now and then, but she is a hard person to catch up with. The girls work too, Caity is nearly 19, Ashlee is 16 and work part time plus school. Matt is just finishing his 1st year of high school. Since Paul's passing she has gradually pulled away from us, very rarely comes out. It’s sad 😞 

Kylee and the little ones we will see. Apparently her man will be joining us too. We are having brunch here, then they heading up to her mans where he will catch up with his two daughters. William and Summer will see their Dad Boxing Day and all day on the 27th which is Williams birthday.  They will hand kids back over late afternoon so they can come home and get reading for vacation swimming lessons.

Shawn will be home too....and our Skye as well. Skye will be taken in to her Mum’s after our brunch.

Nearly 9pm, the little ones have finally settled...so I’m off for a shower.  Before I go I’m going to leave you with this comparison pic...the first one is Shawn and Kylee aged 3 and nearly 6....and William who is nearly 7 and Summer who is 3 in late March. Similar much ehhhh

A better week.

Another week has gone by...plus some.

Last weigh in I managed a 600gram loss. Every day I did struggle but everyday I tried to stop one bad habit. And that and drinking MORE water everyday must have helped.  So thats the plan this week too...lets see what I can manage. Wednesday today and so far I have only had one day where I indulged. I went to Mandurah on Monday and met up with my girlfriend and had a girls day out. We always have the best day. I come home so relaxed. We talk, we eat, we talk, we shop, we eat, we talk all day. I do love our catch ups, we do need to do it more often. Anyways yesterday I got myself straight back on track and today thats the plan too. 

Onward....

 

Self sabotage...

The title says it all.

Im not doing well at all, UP another kilo this week. I can't, just can't get myself on track. I say to myself every day, "I've got this" then eat junk 10 minutes later.  I know I HAVE to reign this in otherwise all my hard work will be gone. I can see myself getter bigger and set in my old ways...BUT still I think.."it won't take long to shift, I've done this before" !!  But it will, I'm getting older and I ache. I know its not going to help me carrying this weight as I get older...I just have to find that mind set again. 

It's funny... I always seem to falter as I enter the eighty's or get close to them, and then self sabotage myself. 

I'm tired, need sleep. I had a good 3 hour nap this afternoon, then couldn't get to sleep tonight...so up now. But I'm yawning and ready to sleep again. 

Have to try again tomorrow. Even if I falter I have to keep on going. My poor Doctor as good as she has been, and helped and supported me so much I think is pulling her hair out in frustration at me. just as I am at myself....

So tomorrow...Im going to try again. And if I muck up, get straight back up and start again.....well thats what I am aiming for. 

Pfffffffttttt

 Well as you can see by the title....I didn’t manage to get myself on track. 

Weigh in showed a gain of over a kilo....and I deserved the gain, I ate junk, and more junk....

And I’m still floundering.....but nowhere near as much as I was. Day by day I’m getting better....but it’s darn hard. Why do I do this to myself all the time? I get to a certain point in my weight loss then pfffffttt I lose the plot.

So...above  ^^^^ this is what I’m trying to do....

And like below I’m trying to eat all the right foods to get myself 100% on track. 

I’ve had a few things on this week that hasn’t helped, my granddaughter turned 17 and a 1st cousin turned 70 and a surprise party was had for him. 

This week my goal is to daily improve....each day to try that little bit harder till every day I am fully on track. 

Yep,,,,I’ve got this...day by day...

Saturday weigh

 I weighed in on Saturday and saw a 400gram loss.

Then come Saturday afternoon, it was worktime. I had packed a healthy lunch BUT the girl I was working with bought some spring rolls she promised to make me in. WHY WHY WHY did I eat them????                   I knew I shouldn’t have because even though I tracked them it has sent me into a eating what ever spiral. Monday today...I’ve been running around all day and NOT eaten within my calorie at all....or even made halfway decent healthy choices. Same for Sunday, it was a eat whatever day there as well...a junk food pig out. No wonder my jeans are feeling quite tight ☹️🤐

Tomorrow I am off work...after school/daycare drop offs it’s going to be a “me” day. And a day to get myself back on track before I gain all I lose. 

Another weigh in....

 Weighed in last Saturday.....and disappointed to see only a 100 gram loss. ☹️  I thought I had done better than that. I had one indulgent day BUT as I promised myself I did track EVERYTHING. So far this week all is good. For the first time in ages I had a few alcoholic drinks 🍹 Saturday and Sunday night....AND once again I did track them. Last few days I have been drinking lots of water....hopefully I can flush them out of my system so I can get a better loss on the scales next weigh in. 

I have been struggling to find something for Kylee for Christmas. But the other day I remembered when William and Summer were a few weeks old she had hand and feet impressions done and put into a frame with their photos. So I’ve decided to get updated hand impressions done with photos of both kids now. 

So these are the pics I took this morning before I took them to school and daycare. Took about 20 rapid shot ones but by number 15 Sum was already climbing down off the climbing frame. Anyways these two    are the best of them. Sue the lady doing the impressions and the framing loved them, so do I. No time to get any others as Mum has them at hers while she on days off.  On Saturday I take them for their hand impressions. I’ve told William we going to see a lady on Saturday and he is not allowed to tell Mummy what she does. Fingers crossed he can keep the secret 🤐 I’m hoping that he be more interested in Mummy picking them up and taking him to Mandurah where Daddy will meet them ready for their 2nd overnight visit. They both always keen to see Daddy BUT the last overnight was overwhelming for them I think, it being the first time. William had a meltdown and needed FaceTime with Mummy to say goodnight before he would settle. And he has been very quiet about the sleepover since. They were meant to stay over last weekend but Daddy had other plans, he had a booked outing Saturday night with his girlfriend. Wasn’t even interested in spending Sunday with them. Anyways let’s see what happens, it’s going to be ongoing so gradually the kids will adjust.

Time for me to shower and get to bed. Work again tomorrow. 

Motivation...

I weighed in on Saturday...700grams down. Quite surprised at that as I didn't have the best start to the week. I am still in my online weight loss group and Saturday was the start of a new round. Comparison photo's below....I was so happy to see that the weight loss was showing. I was told yesterday when I went out to lunch with friends that my effortswere being rewarded...but till I saw this I hadn't realised how much of a difference there was. I notice it in my clothes...I now have to wear a belt in my work pants to keep them up 😀

The kids seemed to have enjoyed their overnight with their Dad and lady friend. He had to ring Mummy before bed for William as he had a meltdown missing her. Other than that he hasn't said too much about the visit at all. I don't know if that is a good thing or bad thing. They are meant to be overnighting again this weekend but he and her have other pre-booked plans 🙍 Mum is STILL waiting to hear if they have time for day visits....😏

Better get going, a few appointments to go too this morning.... 1 being eye checkups, I am constantly cleaning my glasses or adjusting them as my vision sometimes appears to be  occasionally blurred. 

Anyways out of here.....

Weigh in

I weighed in this morning instead of tomorrow morning as its William's school sports carnival....his first one 😀  Was very pleased to see a loss of 600grams. Surprised it was that much at beginning of week I wasn't tracking and eating as I should have been. 

William had a blast. He was up at 6am this morning, so excited...he just couldn’t wait to get out there and try his hardest. 

He participated in 5 events, team games and indivual races and came home with 3 firsts and 2 seconds.

He is going to be a good athlete I think. 

I tucked him in to bed tonight and I think he was asleep before his head hit the pillow. It’s another big day for him and his little sister tomorrow....they have their first sleep over at their Dad’s house. He has moved on and found himself a girlfriend, she doesn’t have kids but she is a kindy teacher and seems to be good with both William and Summer. Still I don’t trust him...    Now the vro is no longer effective I can see him heading back to his narcissistic self. We will wait and see....

I leave you with one happy little boy participating in a few of his events. 

A gain .....

 ......as I expected. 

Wasn't a major gain....but this week it will be. I have had daughters kids full-time while she away at Tafe. Its been full on...I have forgotten how time consuming they are. My food prep, and my tracking has gone out the window. Ive been snacking on their leftovers, eating their treats...ohhh this is not going to good AT ALL!! 

And tonight is Shawn's birthday and we have cake...oohhhh dear. 

Next week when things won't be so hectic I will get my act together....and get some more weight off !! 

Anyways will leave you with a few more pics of our long weekend away. 

Days away.

 I had a fantastic few days away. Did I behave...no I didn’t. Did I go overboard and binge...no I didn’t.  I weighed before we left, lost 400g so hoping for the rest of this week I can get myself back on track.

Managed a few small hikes while away and been keeping busy since being home. 

Went up to the city yesterday to see Skye in hospital after her back surgery. She had a bad scoliosis of the spine. She has been so brave and been coping quite well considering the pain she is in.  Hoping to have her home tomorrow if she can move past the pain and open her bowels. She was in tears yesterday trying, the poor love.  I will go up again tomorrow and visit if she doesn’t get the job done later this arvo/tonight. 

.

Above are called wreath flowers. Only a few places where they grow. This patch they grow about 50 metres on both sides of road. In our 2500 kilometres of travelling we only found 2 other single wreaths.

                                                  A beautiful coloured kangaroo paw

 

                                Our rig all set up for the night. We are all self contained, have a portable fridge and freezer, cooktop, carry plenty of food. We camp like this all the time.        

                                                                                 

A creek bed that we tried our hand at prospecting in and around.....no luck though😏

A gravesite of some mining pioneers, poor fellas and so young too

A road not very often traveled...we saw the most gorgeous wildflowers down this track.

Found this gorgeous coloured trumpet type flower, one that we hadn’t seen before this season. They were everywhere, even close to home.

                                                    Can you see him? 

                                                     (It’s a racehorse goanna)

Another new one for us this year, never seen it before. Found 3 all in the same small area.

And below …… well that was the laugh of our trip 😆 😂 🤭 

On track

 

This week I have been on track and gee it feels good. The last few weeks with leading up to Pauls anniversary and the week of it was hard. My emotions were all over the place and the cruelty of some people thoughtless words didn’t help. 

Weigh in was yesterday and a good 800grams down.  I am hoping for another good week this week as Friday will be weigh day as after I drop off kids to school and daycare hubby and I will be heading off for a much needed break for 5 days. Our foster granddaughter Skye has to have a op on Thursday for her scoliosis of the spine, and her case manager is going to be with her for op day. (We have had this 5 days booked in for 12 months but couldn’t commit to it due to Skye’s op having to be rescheduled because of COVID-19)  Her ex carer will be there for visits and Shawn and her mother will be travelling up for the weekend, plus some good friends are travelling up as well.  We will visit on our way home...and I will be taking off work the week she does come home at Skye’s request. We are going with everyone’s blessing. It’s school holidays and Kylee will be heading off for a week away too. 

After a week of glorious weather this weekend turned to crap, it’s been wet, cold and windy. I’ve lit the fire and spent most of the time indoors with the kids. I’ve one asleep atm and Shawn has taken William and Kylee down the park to fly a kite William got for Christmas. 

I’m off for my monthly visit to my Dr on Tuesday. Be good to see what she suggests for my long weekend away. We are going up around the Geraldton area to our best friends bush block camping, going to be sitting around catching up and relaxing. Hope to go check out the wildflowers too. Camp fire cooking......mmmmm eating s’mores, Irish coffees....are just bliss thinking about it. 

Battling on

 

Last few weeks I have been battling emotions. 

5 years ago on the 10th we lost Paul to that evil disease cancer. He was 45. Too young to leave us. I have battled this week, feeling the hopelessness and despair of him being so sick and not being able to do anything...we all have.

Anyways, that day has past. I went up to his grave and sat and talked, and cried and talked some more. Even drank a beer with him...I left half for him 😊

It doesn’t help that people come up and say how’s hubby and everyone coping. I say, the same as me, we struggle. Ohh but why do you struggle, he wasn’t your son..☹️😢. Yes, really...they did and do say that. Yes, he was was my stepson, I didn’t carry him in my womb for the nine months BUT I did carry him in my heart for the 35 plus years that he was my #1 son. I also had to endure the same heartless when Rosemary was killed in 1996. There are some very heartless people around.

Ted and I made a vow when we got together that there would be no his, mine or ours kids in our family. They would all be ours!! And I’m very proud to say that that’s how it was. There was never my half brother/sister or step brother it was always my brother/sister. They all had a close bond. 

Anyways, moving on...

Battling on....

 All is going well.

I am battling on with my weight, last week lost 500g, this week 100g. Seem to have lost my way a little but hopefully I can get myself back on track. I haven't fallen off the wagon, I just haven't been trying too hard. A few extra carbs have been added, haven't been watching the calories as much...but I am trying a bit harder this week.

Not much going on a home. Work hours have been reduced a bit and it hasn't been too busy at work. Still catching up on all the extra jobs that we were unable to do when we we only doing a few hours a day. Shopping centre is starting to look clean again!! 

William has starting playing footy this year (think they call it T-ball for kids his age).....and he is loving it!! Its his first time playing team sports and he is settling into a team quite well.  As yet I haven't managed to get up there and watch but I hope to before they finish up.  Here's a few pics I pinched off Kylee. 

Right, must get ready for work....hope to get a good update done here soon. 

Low Carb

 

Another week on Low Carb has gone by, 700 grams off this week. I also do some IF (intermittent fasting). Still slowly but surely dropping down.

Non scale victory this week was fitting back into a pair of black jeans. Its great, love my jeans. 

Snooping around on Facebook and I come across a page called lowcarbssosimple and found these dishes. Both were big hits with us all. Chicken broccoli pie I devoured. I also made one using cauliflower instead as half the house don't eat broccoli. The parmesan chicken wings were yummy. Have a look through the page...recipes are all so simple as the heading states.

Work will be a little slower this week thankfully...two new girls have started. My feet are used to it again, and new shoes are helping too 😃

BTW I work because I still have too. Yes, my husband has retired, but he is 8 years older than me. I don't qualify for a pension yet and unfortunately hubby did not have enough superannuation to support us both. Super didn't start for hubby till he was in his 40's, so unless he paid into it to increase it there was never going to be enough for us to survive without added income/pension. We did not have the extra dollars to add. I don't qualify for a pension for another couple of years...so off to work I must go. 

Still going strong

Yesterday I went to my Dr again for my monthly review. Scales were down again, and she was happy with how I was going. We sat down and worked out food strategies for the next month..and she encouraged me to try different foods and recipes. I am one of those that if it works I keep doing it/eating it till of course it tends to become boring.  So it’s onto another month and I’m ready for it. The saying above comes from her, she said it to me as we wrapped up my appointment. 

I am back at work just about full time again. After months of very few hours these past few days of  full time shifts have been really hard. Oh my feet are killing me....and the rest of my workmates. 

Anyways, just a quick one tonight, I’m tired, my feet are killing me so I’m off to bed. Another long day tomorrow, and then I come home to William and Summer. Kylee’s finishes days off and starts her next round of nights. 

Will try and update again soon.

Night night...

Going good.

It’s darn cold here....most of my spare time has been sitting by the fire reading and playing on my IPad. Been suffering with a wicked cough and sniffly nose for the past week. Had it the week before too, thought I had got rid of it...but Nahh it’s back. Cough is terrible...as soon as the cool air comes in I start...and very little seems to stop it. I’m over it bigtime.

And I’m missing my walking...been ages since I’ve been able to get out and have a jabber with my buddy. 

The full house of mine is ticking over ok.

Simon got his first wage from his new job and paid board. He still drinking and I think too much, but it’s his choice. He knows I don’t like it, my Dad was a alcoholic and I never been a fan of alcohol. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a drink or 2 or 3 now and then, but I can’t drink every night like he does. Thankfully Shawn is not following him, he has a few ports with him most nights, but not every night. 

Skye is causing no drama’s. Still a lazy teenager and needs prodding now and then to help out more.

Kylee is renovating...doing both kids rooms up.

She fulled up floor boards, and is now laying vinyl strips in their rooms. Bedroom suites are on order. 

Wouldn’t have been able to afford it....but a few months ago a pipe in the bathroom sprung a leak behind the tiles and between the walls causing damage to her floors. Insurance paid out so after fixing the leaking pipes she has enough left over to do the kids rooms. 

I’m on a roll with my new health regime...Dr is happy, I’m happy, my scales are happy and going down. Over 5 kilos down and feeling good. Long may it last. 

I am still here...

Yes, so true.
I had got myself into such a sad state with my weight...it was just going up and up. The more upset I got about the gain of course the more I ate. 
When I could only fit into "my fat clothes" I said to myself enough is enough....I need help before I start getting myself into a state of depression. 
A good talk to my doctor, a change in my reflux medication...and I have been on a roll since. I am following a plan given to me by my Dr and I visit her once a month for a weigh in and check up.

A lot has been going on in the background here that wasn't helping. Kylee has ongoing stuff going on with her lawyer trying to sort out stuff with Bozo and the kids. He fought tooth and nail to get unsupervised access to them, the court agreed and worked out times and dates. Kylee had 1 condition and that was to have carseats fitted to his car properly and a compliance certificate. Huh...you know what...he has missed 3 visits as he hasn't supplied a compliance certificate to Kylee's lawyer yet. What does that tell you? 
William is having a real hard time of it, he misses his Dad. We are having a lot of behaviour problems with him, and they are at school too. Kylee saw her doctor and demanded that the referral to counselling be bought forward, he needs it now more than ever. I also asked Kylee to get a referral to a paediatrician as I think he may have some form of Autism. 
Anyways stamping her foot got attention and William is booked in for the 3rd of August for a counselling session.

Also have had eldest son move back home. His relationship went kaput in a big way. He was very heartbroken and drowning his sorrows in drinking. Simon has always enjoyed a few beers, too many to my way of thinking but until it effects this household I will keep my mouth shut. 
Thankfully since moving here he has found a job. We’ve been keeping him but come payday he can pay for his upkeep, I can’t afford too. Love him dearly but.....
I am though worried that Shawn may start drinking more too. Him and Simon enjoy a drink of an evening together. Shawn with his troublesome past doesn’t need that. It’s something I am keeping a close eye on and this mum will not hesitate to tell Simon to go drink elsewhere. 

I also have Shawn’s eldest living with us. Her foster mother and her had a falling out, and I was asked to respite care. Of course we did, we love Skye dearly. A few weeks ago she asked if she could stay here forever as she didn’t want to move in with strangers again. 
She has settled in well. She loves the little ones and even babysat one night for me. She is well be 17 in November, but is a very immature young lady. Hopefully with time we can help her to grow up to be more mature. She has come along in leaps and bounds since she moved in. Just have to get her to help out more....she is a lazybones. Typical teenager!!

Anyways  think I have caught up with everything.
Time to prepare dinner....

I am tired, I am weary....

This post I can just about write word for word what your post said MaryFran. (MaryFran is a blogger friend of mine I follow).
I am so tired and weary....tired of being fat, and looking fat...and unwell....makes me weary. Bone tired weary. Some days I just can't be bothered doing anything, its an effort to get up and move. Its really dragging me down...and its not fair on the kids, my hubby....or for that myself.
I have been fighting my weight for years now, but these past few months especially since I have been diagnosed with GERD my weight has blown out of control. I am not managing it...and I feel horrid. I look terrible. We had a funeral on Friday, the father of a close friend of over 38 years, and I really didn't want to go as nothing fits me. I felt ashamed of myself that my weight had gotten out of control and just wanted to hide away.

I am off to my Doctor this morning, I need a few prescriptions so I plan on having a good talk with her. I'm lost and I need to find my way again.

Still battling...

I've not been travelling well.
2 weeks ago I took a big mouthful of Pepsi Max and gagged before I swallowed it. On finally swallowing it intense spasms started in my chest....ohh the pain was horrid!!  All sorts of things were going through my mind as to what was happening coz this pain continued for a couple of days. I booked a Drs appointment the day after I gagged but couldn't get in straight away so had to wait.
Stressed.

Anyways Dr ordered exrays for a swallow test, exrays on my back and the outcome is these chest pains are oesophagus spasms. 

My Doc said this what I have.... Nutcracker esophagus refers to having strong spasms of your esophagus. It’s also known as jackhammer esophagus or hypercontractile esophagus. It belongs to a group of conditions related to abnormal movement and function of the esophagus, known as motility disorders. When you swallow, your esophagus contracts, which helps to move food into your stomach. If you have nutcracker esophagus, these contractions are much stronger, causing chest pain and pain when you swallow. It’s closely related to diffuse esophageal spasms. The main difference between the two conditions is that nutcracker esophagus usually doesn’t cause you to regurgitate food or liquids, and diffuse esophageal spasms often do.

It’s closely related to diffuse esophageal spasms. The main difference between the two conditions is that nutcracker esophagus usually doesn’t cause you to regurgitate food or liquids, and diffuse esophageal spasms often do.

So this is what I am dealing with atm... I have a scared oesophagus, suffering some reflux and have a hiatus hernia.  I can tell you when I got these results it was scary, all I could think of was Paul and what he went through. 

Thankfully the pain has eased and I only suffer when I eat something I shouldn't.

Im learning what temp I can have food and drink and what foods are going to set off the spasms. 

Over it already but what can I do but deal with and move on....

Where am I at

Thats me ^^^^^

I just can't get my head together. 
I am overeating, eating junk....and I know I am doing it....
BUT do I stop...nope, I just keep on doing it.
I am watching the scales go up daily and still can't get my head into gear.
My body aches, I"m sore and struggle each day to do things. 

I try daily to get myself together...pray with me that one of these days I will wake up to myself. 

The virus

This darn virus is getting to me....people just don't care!!
I'm still working, I am classed as an essential worker. Someone has to clean and sanitise the shopping centres that I work in and thats me and my workmates. So many people seem to think its "just another flu" ...don't know how many times I have heard that in the last few weeks. But the shopping centre is becoming quieter and people are slowly starting to obey the rules. They can't shop or browse anymore anyways, 95% of the shops are shut. 
I am also still looking after the 2 little grandies.They have been pulled out of school and daycare, not that Kylee wanted them to be, but because they both got a cold and had coughs and runny noses. Both saw the Drs so all good, definitely NOT the virus.  Kylee is a baker at Woolworths so she is an essential worker too, but she reduced her hours so she could isolate for a few days with the kids to get them over the colds. Plus..she now home schools William...shes a great Miss Mum 😊

Me and my weight....blah...but I am trying to get myself back on track. Im turning into a whale 🐳 out of water...I have some good days, but not many, got to find that mojo again.
Days off now...not that we can do much or go anywhere. I have a few things to get from the shop in the morning, I'll do that early then I can catch up on some housework here. 

Where I'm at...

I am slowly but surely getting myself back on track. A Dr visit and a change in thyroid meds has seen me improve. I am not following any "diet" as such, its a bit "hit and miss" at the moment BUT the scales are coming down. 
A lot is going on...what with this coronavirus outbreak there is a lot of panic buying, a lot of new school guidelines I have to follow with the kids when I drop them off to daycare and school. Work is the same, we are doing everything we can possibly do to protect ourselves and the shopping malls we clean.
I haven't panic bought, I only get paid fortnightly so have just been doing my normal shop. I will admit to using my pension card and going in at the new 7am to 8am opening where only those with a card can shop and buy a few extras that are not on the shelves come my normal shop time.