Merry Christmas

 

Merry Christmas everyone….

A quiet one here….

Skye unable to join us, her boyfriend and family have Covid and she showing signs so she isolating with them.

Kylee, William and Summer along with K’s partner Micheal and his daughters joined hubby, Shawn and me for breakfast.

Was meant to see little Jahzara today, but DCP changed the date and Jaydene had visit yesterday. Even she wasn’t told till the taxi arrived to pick her up 😤😮

So Shawn playing his new tablet, hubby listening to his radio and I’m going to start my new book. 

Tomorrow I’m restarting ww….festivities for me will be over…

I’m still here

Yes, I’m still here.

Slowly but surely getting myself back on track. Two weeks ago I heard that WW was changing their program again and had a 60% off joining fee…so I rejoined. I love the program, it’s very similar to the “Blue” program I was following before I bombed out when they changed to personal points. I’m losing weight…plenty more to lose too, I wasn’t quite the heaviest I have ever been, but was getting close. And 10 kilos heavier than what I finished up on WW last time. 

Yesterday I had lunch with my “bestie” who is also a weight watcher. She is also my “jabber buddy” from our walking days. We stopped walking as we both started looking after grandies overnight…and with both of us working we just couldn’t find time.

Anyhow yesterday our 2023 aim is to start walking together again…starting off at 2 days a week. Very doable don’t you think?

 Christmas is getting closer and closer.

I rang my kids and said this year I’ll be doing a brunch on Christmas Day, come and join us. 

Tanya and kids are unavailable, but will call in Christmas Eve before they go camping. Simon and Tammy are going to Perth to spend Christmas Day with her daughter and grandies. They’ll call in on the way back he said. 

Kylee and her 2 will be here, her partner Micheal also. I think he’ll have his 2 daughters with him. They will all then head up to Mandurah to spend time with Micheals family.

Shawn and Skye will be home too. In the afternoon Skye will head off to Busselton to be with Luke her boyfriend. Shawn I guess will go fishing…loves his fishing he does.

In the afternoon Jaydene ( Shawn’s #2 daughter) has a visit with her little girl Jahzara so I’ll go and have Christmas cuddles with my little great-granddaughter. 

Not much else happening…so leave it at this and see you soon. 

Ponderings

 I’ve started my Christmas shopping….well actually I’ve just about finished it all. 

That got me thinking about Christmas and all. After my brother died in 1979 my family stopped being a family. Mum and Dad had separated not long before Tom was killed, then we all seemed to fall apart. No Christmas get together that year. My marriage broke up, my eldest brother and his wife lost a baby in the 7th month of the pregnancy. My sister and her husband split. I can’t recall all being together celebrating after all that, if fact not from Shem Tom was killed.  Now there is just the 3 of us left and we've still not had a Christmas together.

Same with my darling children. Since Paul died and Kylee separated from Bozo, Simon from Tracey the family get togethers are very rare. I hardly see Tanya and the kids, each passing year since Paul died they have drifted further and further away from us.  

Simon has been drifting along since his "mucky" separation and has found happiness with Tammy. Hardly see them but he does remember us with phone calls and texts....and he and us don't see the kids (except Sheymus) thanks to Tracey and her vindictive lies. Jessica and Zoe don't acknowledge us at all, they have cut us, including Simon,  completely out of their lives since the separation. Simon still sees Sheymus, he actually lived with Simon and Tammy for awhile and he still sees Tommy occasionally. 

Shawn lives with us still. His eldest Skye lives with us. Jaydene and Shayden with their mother. Kaleb with his foster mother. Jaydenes little girl with her foster mother too. Thankfully Shawn and us get to see them all except Kaleb. DCP sux. 

And as for Kylee...well her and her kids treat this house like their own. Kylee is staying home for Christmas so I will at least see the joy and excitement when they open their pressies. 

Skye and Shawn will be here on the day too. Skye will go off to her Mothers during the day and then to her boyfriends. 

mmmmm so that is that.

Christmas is just not the same anymore. 

Day by Day…

Day by day I’m taking it.

Everyday I try to get myself on track….every day I have failed. 

But I will hopefully….and pleasssssseee make it soon…..I will have “that” moment when it all just clicks….

Tomorrow I will be trying again.

Still struggling

 I’m still struggling big time.

Just back from a 16 day getaway, and some days I really found it hard. I struggled getting in and I out of 4 wheel drive, and climbing up to our bed was hard too…so much so I stoped drinking late afternoon so I didn’t have to get up to pee during the night. Weather was great except for a constant wind. A few campsites I found it hard walking against the wind, particularly the last camp. The toilet  was up a steep hill and by the time I got there I was breathles. I am just TOO HEAVY. I am uncomfortable. I HATE being like this…….😕🫤🥺😖😢😭

Today I’m not feeling at all well, I have a gastro type bug and just not into eating. So I’m making today the start of turning my life around and getting back on track. 

This last little holiday is the last one this year as we don’t go far from home in Summer so I have a few months to get some kind of plan going. And hopefully loose some weight. I just have too.

Anyways, will leave it here with a few pics of our time away.

Struggling

 Yeah I’ve been missing. And for me to be missing means I’ve fallen off the wagon yet again……

I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m the heaviest I have been in years and years. I just can’t stop eating.

Hubby and I are heading off on holidays again in 2 weeks. Going to pack up the camper and head north again. Hopefully I’ve got enough clothes that fit.

I’m still here

 I’m still recovering from the flu, it just won’t let go. Only sniffly nose and a frog in throat cough now but it’s annoying. Run out of “fuel” quickly too…..seem to be constantly tired. 

I’ve reached pension age so have stopped working….though my employees have asked me to stay on and do one shift a week. I’ve agreed to that, I work a 4 hour shift Tuesdays it gives me a few extra dollars. 

Still ongoing with the yo-yo of weight loss, gained last week, lost this week. 

Taking time off at the end of the month and going to head off up North again and do more fishing, exploring, resting and relaxing 😌 

Got the flu

 I’m not feeling very well at all.

Got an irritating cough that no matter what I take, or suck it just won’t go away. I’ve had very little sleep, even though I slept up high on 3 pillows. I honestly feel like crap. Over it. 

Taken 3 rat tests and they all negative so it’s not Covid. But will take another one tonight.

The kids have had time off daycare/school due to the same  thing….so looks like they’ve past it on…😬

Weigh in was Saturday, 600g down. Still working on reduced portions. STILL need to work on my water, drinking nowhere near enough.

Kids have turned up for the night….bring on bedtime, I’m heading to bed at the same time. Spoke to my boss earlier and he’s got someone to cover my shift tomorrow, no way can I work feeling like this.

Till next time….

2nd week.

What a wet, cold and miserable week it has been. We did have a little bit of sunshine mid week but boy it was still so cold. 

Been quite good food wise. Watching my portions sizes but still have to get more water down inside me. Trying hard, and will keep persisting, I know I need too. Need to get a few more steps happening too. Soon I go down to one day a week so plan to meet up with my friend and start up our jabberwalking again. Anyway weigh in result, 100g off. 

William had his school assembly. Micheal got Covid again (2nd time) and couldn’t make it, BUT Bozo (Dad)drove down to watch William and his class host the assembly. Stayed long enough for a cuddle and a quick talk then drove all the way back to Perth as he had work at 4am. My god, if you going to drive that far why not hang around and spend time with the kids after school. 

Anyways, off to dish up dinner. Lazed around all day as it’s been so wet so not overly hungry.

First weigh in.

 And I was down 300g….not a lot but that wasn’t a full week.

Anyways I’m feeling quite good. I’m still motivated. BUT even though I’m not “dieting” I still need to for one drink more water. I’m finding that real hard atm, it’s so cold, wet and miserable and I’m drinking too much coffee instead…😏

And I need to move more. Other than work and chasing after those grandies of mine I don’t do much. Gone are the days where I was walking daily. My knee being as it is doesn’t help…but I’m hoping with some weight loss I’ll feel more like moving more.

Started new challenge

 Well it’s on my mark, get set and go….

The start of another new round with my online weight loss/support group.  I’ve had some good rounds and some darn bad ones but over the years I’ve been doing these challenges….no matter what diet I am doing….I always seem to sabotage myself. Somehow I have to stop it and try and stop the yo-yo’ing, I just have to. Gotta to get my head in the right place and do it. I know it will be hard, I’m going to slip as I’m not perfect…but I’ve got to learn to reset and pick myself up before that 1 slip turns into a landslide. 

I’ve started this challenge with all good intentions so fingers crossed for me. I’m not dieting as such this time round, no weight watchers, keto, 5:2…just eating sensibly and watching my portions. 

All else is going ok in the world of Jen.

I’m enjoying the less hours, particularly this week. It’s been so windy and wet and keeping the shopping centre clean in those conditions has been to say the least has been very challenging.

Talking about challenging….my littlest two grandies have been too. OMG…they have been sooo naughty. Think they are a little lost and feeling abandoned by their Dad. He has seen them once for 4 hours since the beginning of April. Ohh and has been down to watch 1 game of Williams soccer and Kylee had to offer him the fuel money to do that.

He has his partner had a big argument and she kicked him out (it was her house) and he was living in his car. So trying to sort that relationship out and his work became his priorities 😏 He took on extra shifts, applied for managerial positions and pushed his kids to the back burners. 

William was rushed to the childrens hospital in Perth last week for tooth surgery. He lives 40 minutes away and did he come see him …. no of course not 😡

Anyway before I get on my “high horse” and say things I shouldn’t say I better wrap this up and go clean up my kitchen, dishes to do. Then it will be a cup of hot chocolate and bed.

Till next time…..

Lowered my hours

 

Bring on end of August…I’m lowering my hours down to a shift a week. As of this week though I’ve lowered them from 4 shifts to 3 so I’m only doing Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. My knee is going to love it, less pressure on it from all the walking on concrete…there just no give in it!! Still have to get an appointment with Centrelink and find out for sure what hours I can work without it affecting my pension too much. Going to have to really sort out a budget methinks. 

Weight…..I’m on 2nd week of watching what I eat instead of eating what I like when I feel like and I’m starting to feel better for it. Not following any program, just eating sensibly and not over indulging. Hopefully reflux will settle down more, I’m still getting some oesophageal spasms but I start a new medication tomorrow. I have rejoined new challenge on my online weight loss group which starts on the 1st of August…hope I don’t self sabotage myself. 

Retirement is coming….

 I have heard from Centrelink that as of end of August I can retire. But as we don’t travel far in the summer I am going to keep working but only one day a week…or maybe 3 days a fortnight depending on how much I can earn before it affects our pensions payments. 

Soooooooooo hopefully I can get my shit together and stop my binge eating that I’m doing atm and lose some weight. I went to my Dr and had a good long talk with her about my health, my weight and aches and pains. She sent me off to the “vampires” where I had a whole heap of blood taken and I now have a follow up appointment scheduled for next week. Hopefully Doc has some answers for me.  She has helped out before with my diet and we did have some success. Maybe we can again…let’s see what my blood results show. Maybe I just need thyroid medication changed,,,who knows. I know my attitude does. I know I’m not going to lose weight if I don’t try. I can’t keep up with this “hit and miss” attitude I have and the yo-yoing  weight can’t be good either. 

I just can’t afford to be fat and uncomfortable, I want to enjoy my life after work. I want to be happy in my skin, I want to be able to climb, hike, and travel in comfort. But nothing will work unless I work at it. 

Onwards……

Once upon a time

 Once upon a time, many years ago now I used to be happy with my weight. After I got to my goal weight in 2005 for 4 or 5 years I managed to keep it off once I settled 6 kilo’s above it…but gradually over the years it has yoyo’ed up and down. More up than down I must say. I’ve tried weight watchers, 5:2, intermittent fasting, keto, shakes …… you name it, I’ve tried it. Yep, they work, but I can’t work with them. I end up crashing and burning, bingeing and hating myself and starting the procedure all over again. It’s me, I sabotage myself. And it’s wearing me down so much as the weight is starting to affect my health. I don’t want that, retirement is close and I want to get out there and enjoy my life, travel with hubby and do things together. We had the best 2 weeks away and I want more of that, but not have to struggle with limitations due to my weight.

These hubby took on our 2 weeks away…

And this is me and my mum……back when I was happy and content with my weight. 

 Its mum’s birthday today, she would have been 93. 6 years she has been gone and I miss her so much. 

Was the best….

 Had the best 2 weeks away…we didn’t want to come home. It rained during the last few days but that didn’t dampen our spirits.

These are just a few pics.

Taking a break

I am taking a break from weighing in. I am over dieting, counting points, counting calories, fasting…. I’m sick of the whole merry go round I’ve put myself on. I’m over it….I keep self sabotaging myself, then think what the heck, over eat, hate myself and go back “dieting”

I AM DONE

I’m giving myself a rest.

Today I started packing my bag for our holiday. Found out all my fat comfy clothes, I’m going to enjoy this break. We leave Friday. I work Monday to Thursday so only have Sunday to finish getting myself organised. I work tomorrow morning, go home, get changed, drink a coffee then I have Williams soccer game to go too, and then I’ll do the rest of our shopping. 

Got a message from Centrelink the other day, August 20th I start getting the “aged” pension….I can officially retire from work if I want too. I apparently can earn $320.00 a fortnight without my pension being effected so till we organise my retirement holiday next year I will organise to only work 3 shifts a fortnight from that date. 

Right….time to go shower and organise myself for my early morning shift. 

Another weigh

On this day in 2018 we were in Dayton, Ohio at the Ham radio Fest. Hubby and I were talking about it this morning and saying how lucky we were we got the trip in before Covid.

  

What a trip it was….5 days there meeting all hubby’s radio friends in person. Then on to LA, then Alaska before cruising the Inside passage to Vancouver, meeting a longtime Facebook friend there before flying to London. Would I do it again…..hell  yes!!!  So much there we didn’t do that we would like to do….but don’t know if we will get there again. Next in line is New Zealand, done day trips at a few places our cruise ship stopped in, but hopefully next time we’ll hire a camper van and go touring.

Today, weigh in day. Down 400grams. Last few days of WW, I’ve dropped the membership for the time being, was just wasting my money.  See what I can do without it. Still have 3 kilo to go to get to my lowest weight I achieved before losing the plot.

Went to Williams soccer game. Played defence and wow he was good!! He reckons it’s his favourite position to play. 

Right, I’m out of here. Been a glorious day, calm before the storm I think as tomorrow a big front is coming in and bring thunderstorms. I’ve washed today so better go and get it off the line.

Catch you next time. 

 

It’s wet and miserable…

 A wet and cold miserable day here today.

Was going to go to William’s soccer game today but after a bad night I was tired and not up to it. Was a away game and it being cold and wet I decided against it. Apparently they had an epic game and even managed to score a goal. Not bad for a team of under 9 boys, 95% of them never played the game before!!

I’m disappointed now that I missed it. 

Weigh in day. Managed to lose some of my big gain of last week but still got 1.4 to get down to the weight of my 1st weigh in of this round. But I’m feeling a lot better for the week on track. I’ve relaxed a little today and had a few small indulgences but tomorrow it’s back to it. 

Just over 2 weeks to go and I’m off work and on leave. So looking forward to it.  Shawn and Skye will be here to feed the cat, chooks and ducks. 

Skye is working 3 or 4 shifts a week at my work place doing the night clean. Not over keen about it but looking forward to her first pay 💰                                        I was very surprised that she even took the job, she is as lazy as but watching her do her work it was good to see her do an amazing job. 

A new round….

 My online weight loss group does “rounds” every 3 months. Last one was 1st February to end of May. I lost 1.6 kilo’s. New round started on 1st May and will end end of July. I weighed in Saturday with a nearly 2 kilo gain 🐖😞  I’m so over myself.  I’ve cancelled WW, I’m paying monthly for nothing, I’m sabotaging myself time and time again. I need to get my head in the right space and for the millionth time start again. 

I WILL NOT QUIT. 

Continued from last week…..

 

So….after I wrote post last week I continued on being a real 🐖  🐷  for a few days before I finally got my act together. OMG those scales of mine weren’t happy with me at all. But I did keep it together and got most of the weight off….then can you believe it ate myself silly over the weekend. 😞🤷‍♀️

Saturday William played his first ever game of soccer, they tried but lost 7 to 0. But hey, they are all new to the game, never played before and the team they played played last season. William (#59) started off as goalie and I was so darn proud…he stopped 4 goals, and only let 2 in. Half time he was mid field and did well….but came off with 5 minutes to go feeling sick. It was a warm day and he just couldn’t run anymore.  After the game we took William out for a celebration lunch 🥗 Then it went downhill from there. 

Sunday was the local fair so we took the kids, more food, more yummies….but I woke up this morning all ready for a day on track and as writing this tonight…stayed on track. 

Nope, I ain’t a quitter, one day I will succeed again…..

Easter….

 Easter means chocolate. Chocolate = big gain. 

Big gain = throw the scales away and eat more chocolate. 

I’m disgusted with myself and yet I still eat. 

To be continued next week…

Easter Weekend.

 First up….weighed in Saturday morning, a 100g down. Since weigh in I’ve eaten everything I shouldn’t have. Hot cross buns and chocolate galore….I’ve made a real pig of myself. Why can’t I just have a taste of something and be happy? Nahhhh not me, I’m not happy till I scoffed the damn lot!!! Then go….why did I do that???   Stupid that’s what it is. Holiday coming up in June, remember the goal I made for myself in June, well that isn’t going to happen now is it? 

Holiday in June, yep that’s still happening, though the goal I set for it isn’t!  It was very doable but I keep eating and haven’t achieved much yet 😙😚But Easter is done, and there is still the rest of this month and all of May to go yet soooooo let’s see what happens. 

Now my cough/cold/reflux….. The cough is still happening, not as frequent but I’m coughing. Still have slight sniffles….but they only seem to happen when I wear my mask. I’m booking another appointment to see or talk to my Doctor. 

Yesterday I got to see my gorgeous little great granddaughter….isn’t she just the cutest? 

My son, the granddad….or “Grumps” as he is to be called. Jahzara loved his voice. 

Isn’t she gorgeous? Loved the bag her few little eggs were in, wasn’t interested in the eggs.

Wet Sunday

 Brrrrr cold front has come through today and it’s been wet and cold all day. If this keeps up the fire will soon be lit. I love sitting by a lovely warm wood fire on a cold night. 

Luckily the rain stayed away last night. It was my nieces (by marriage as she married my nephew) 40th birthday party last night….her birthday was a few weeks ago but due to Covid restrictions was unable to have party till last night. And that enabled her to celebrate with her eldest child, her son Thomas who was celebrating his 16th 🥳 

It was a lovely night catching up with family and friends. Yummy snacks, yummy dinner and even yummier cake. Yep, I indulged 🐖🐖. Actually yesterday I was a real little piggy  all day. 🐷  I never intended it to happen, but hubby and I had a real relaxing day at home by ourselves so we ended up eating and drinking whatever whenever. 

Anyways I tracked all yesterdays treats and I’m big time minus on my ww app, but today I’m back on track and hopefully I can say thataway. 

I’ve been remembering my brother today. He was tragically killed in a accident in 1979. He was only 27. I am the 3rd child born, he was the 2nd, the 2 in the middle of 4. We were close and even after all this time I miss him. Actually the party last night was his family, Crystal would have been his daughter in law, and Thomas his grandson. 

Ohh lost 500 grams. How I don’t know, I’m still not recovered. Antibiotics did nothing, though in saying that my cough is not as frequent. 

Been a long week.

 It’s been a very long week. I worked Monday to Thursday and I really struggled through all 4 shifts. They are only 4 hours but believe me when you feeling crappy those 4 hours go forever. 

I’m still struggling. I had a phone consult  with my Dr and was prescribed some antibiotics but I’m still coughing and snuffly. Even though I’m better than what I have been I’m still not feeling good at all. I’m tired, grumpy and emotional and yep eating all those feels. 

So this mornings weigh in, which I seriously debated with myself about doing, showed a 1.1 gain……I suppose it could have been worse 😒😟☹️😫 

The rate at which I’m going I’ll never loose this dratted weight. 

And I’m beginning to wonder if I’m ever going to feel better 😏

Here I am again…

 Right, this week I’m still battling the flu, a bad cough and stiffly snuffly nose. And no….it’s not Covid. I’ve tested and I’m negative. So this past week I’ve either felt like not eating, or I’ve been over eating 😏😑

The scales….a stay the same.

I was hoping to catch up with another old school friend on Thursday. Anne flew over from Melbourne to catch up with family and friends. We tried, but by the time she passed through here I was only a few minutes off starting work. Told her to go through and spend the extra time with her niece who unfortunately is terminally ill.  

Next time Anne.

Friday the kids went to their Dads after school/daycare. Kylee usually goes up to Mandurah after her work Saturday and picks them up after their overnight visit and then spends the night and next day with Micheal and his daughters. This weekend she couldn’t as one of the daughters got put into isolation due to being a close contact during the week. She so far no symptoms but Micheal tested positive Saturday. So I went up to Mandurah with Kylee and picked up the kids. Miss Summer turned 4 today so whilst with Dad they had a early party. OMG 😳😳😳 what did they feed her, must have been a huge sugar overload 😮😳🎂All the way home that little girls sang, laughed, wriggled and giggled 🤭 Kylee took nearly 2 hours to get her to settle after dinner and bath before she would finally sleep😴 …. But then she was up at crack of dawn. And today….the excitement was still there, she was bouncing off the walls all day. 

Thankfully….she was soooooo tired tonight I had her in bed, tucked in, storybook read and asleep by 7pm. 

Now it’s my turn, it’s been a long day. 

Night night.