Lost my way

This was way back when I had it all together.....I loved me, I loved looking this good...and I worked at it...

Me at goal weight, when I loved myself a

This is me now...I am struggling. I have been working hard, but not everyday, all day like I should. I have good weeks, the scales go down, then treat myself, lose track, gain...then have to start all over again. Yoyo' íng week afer week, I hate the fact that my clothes are getting tighter, that I have huge muffin top hanging over my clothes....but even with tracking and recording my stats I am still where I was 15 months ago!!


Love this dres, hate how I look !!

I have to do something. I had a sneak peek at the scales this morning, shuddered at the number and then proceeded to start the day off as I should with a healthy filling breakfast. Then, what the heck...had toast, white bread too,  which I never eat....coz I just felt like it  !! There was no thought of my weigh in on Thursday, no thought to the fact that I have to record my weight with my lovely consultant. And my day has continued downhill just like it did yesterday and the day before....
It seems to take forever for the weight to come off but in just a few days I can add a couple of kilo's :-(

Me, February 2004

Today....I am making a commitment to myself.....and ALL OF YOU.....that I will get myself back to looking like the me I like above....starting tomorrow. Today is plan day.  I can do it...I have to do it for me, otherwise I will end up looking like the me above again....and I don't want that !!

Another week done....

....and dusted

The view on top of the hill after Shera drags me up!

Is that where we just were?

ahhhh bliss!!

Daddy you crack me up!!

Kylee & Skye colouring in together.

 Have had a week fighting with Telstra after having having my phone stolen at work last week. The police recovered it the same day.....but it took Telstra 5 days to re-activate my sim card....sux to them !!
Other than that it has been quiet. Had Shawn and his 3 0f his 4 kids out on Sunday for their access visit. Boy are they growing up. Only 1 of them is in foster care now, the eldest 3 are home with Hannah....Kaleb will be back after Easter....then its up to Hannah to keep them there. I really don't think she'll manage, they are a handful and from what I saw at my last visit to her house her housekeeping skills have NOT improved.
Shera has been making sure I have been exercising, lots of walks have been done...and some new more challenging ones too.
Weigh was today...a stay the same...I am blaming Telstra!!!

Happy Birthday to me....

After a real downer of a day the day before,  my birthday turned out to be a wonderful day.
My girlfriend and "jabberwalk" buddy stayed after our walk for a cuppa and gave me a gorgeous handbag plus some other sweet smelling goodies. She also asked me to join her and some other friends down at the local cafe for lunch. T'was lovely.

My birthday rose. Its called Ebb Tide.

Home after lunch to find hubby waiting with the above...it was a beautiful standard rose. The colour is out of this word and the scent so intense!  I fell in love with the rose on the weekend while we were out browsing at Bunning's....so my man went back and bought it for me, how sweet was he :-)
DD came home and we prepared for the photo shoot. I did eventually find out 3 sets of clothes and kylee dressed up in hers and away we went.
The lovely stylist applied my makeup and styled my hair and I was ready for the shoot. What a hoot it was!! I was made to feel beautiful and Kylee and I had a ball.
The photo's look stunning on the pc and I am sure the package I bought ( at a price) will be memory of a few hours I will never forget!
I am so excited and can't wait for them all to arrive... in the next 4 to 6 weeks.
I was made to feel special...and now to today I am ready to begin my journey.

This morning my scales showed me a 700g loss.

Why ...

Why am I having trouble in losing weight?
Why am I self sabotaging myself ?
Why am I not happy with me and my imagine in the mirror?
Why, when I struggle daily to do the "right thing" by myself do I stuff up ???

DD went down to Manjimup last night, they had burnouts on at the speedway. She had to be up at 4.20am to be at work by 5am and as I went to bed that was going through my head. She worked yesterday, then took off within an hour of being home to get there. Its and hour and half drive there and that back again late at night. I know she is a big girl but still I worry, she has been through so much of late.
So as I went to bed I stuffed my face and then took a handful of yummies with me and went into bed stuffing my face more!

Why?
Coz I worry/stress !
Coz I doubt myself.
 I know I have lost weight once before.
 I know I "only" have 10 kilo's to lose.
I know I have to get my head together and do it....
....now I have to figure out how


Tomorrow its my photo shoot that I won. Happy Birthday to me.
I have been so excited and looking forward to it, until I started to work out and trying on  what outfits I am going to wear. Half of what I wanted to wear doesn't fit, or just doesn't look right.
Just hope the stylist can work wonders.....
DD is coming with me....hubby is 2 workers down in his workshop and just can't get away.


Weigh in is Tuesday morning...maybe by then I can get my head around all these why's and start believing in me again.

Fig jam...

My fig jam

  

 The other day for the first time ever I made fig jam. We have 3 fig trees and a lot of the fruit on it is splitting even though they are not ripe....so as only hubby & DD eat them and we all LOVE fig jam I decided to try my hand at making it. I googled a few recipes and went for the most simple one.....I'm happy !!

My fig jam & split figs.

My new air conditioner

Today the fitters arrived and our air conditioning was fitted. I worked this afternoon (DD was on days off and stayed here while the fitters worked) and it was sheer bliss to walk in the house after work...ahhhhhhhhhhhh :-)
We have lived in this house for over 17 years and relied on fans for those hot days. We have lawn all the way around the house which is double brick, it gets lots of shade from red gum and other trees and usually the house is cool. But for some reason,  this year we have really felt the heat...I think we must be getting old.

Going back to Simply Filling..

Well it was weigh in day today....a sts this week. My fault as I haven't followed the program the way I should be. Tried to switch things around and do some days pro-points and others simply filling...but I just didn't do it properly...and worst of all didn't track or plan anywhere near as much as I should have.
And I ate way way too much fruit !!!!
So this week its back to the simply Filling plan I was following and losing on....100% 
It was measurement week too and I happy to report all measurements are lower than last months...so that's a bonus and makes me feel better.

Its been a busy week...only the 2 days of work, but caught up on a lot of chores around the house/garden. Getting air conditioning fitted on Friday so moved things around, dusted, wiped and swept and vacuumed right through the house. That's the worst of being on a large bush block...DUST!!  And cobwebs try to move in overnight too !!



My rose garden was just full of weeds and I have that finally looking good, I have neglected it badly.

Tanya rang me early one morning asking if I could have Matthew for a few hours as he had woken up with a cold/sniffles/cough and couldn't go to kindy. She had a lunch date with her friends and didn't want to cancel. Of course I said yes. I love my grandies and anytime I can spend one on one time with any of them is seized with open arms. 
We went for a walk along the jetty down at the estuary and looked for fish and crabs and hopefully a dolphin, Matty thought it wonderful.

Matty feeding Shera treats

Can you see it Jenna?

Yep Matty, Jenna thinks your're  just gorgeous!!

Kylee had Friday off so we drove down to Manjimup to see my mum. We didn't chose the right day, mum was in a real cranky mood due to no sleep the night before. Poor love is really worried about her younger brother (her and my Uncle are the last of their family) who  has been having a lot of trouble with his heart. 
But she was happy to see us...and it was great to spend time with my brother and sister who also arrived to join us for lunch.

Keeping to my New Year resolution and enjoying more of a social life. I accept all invitations that come in now....and Ted is agreeing that more social is good for us both.

Climbed back on the wagon....

Aunty Kylee with Skye

 Last week ended with me being in a right regular grump....my eating habits were all over the place, I just couldn't get into the groove. But after going to my little local ww meeting...a pep talk and a few little challenges helped me get back on track. Things are going along great. Tuesday morning I weighed in and recorded a loss of 500g which I'll seize with both hands after that bad start off to my week.

That's funny Daddy reckons Kaleb

 On the Saturday Shawn had his access visit with his kids....they are a joy to watch together. We took them up to Kylee's shopping center for an hour or so as they had bouncy castles, fairy floss & face painting all free to kids to celebrate the opening of the new store. The kids loved it....and even more so the girls got to ride home from the center with Aunty Kylee when she finished work.

Kylee enjoying some of  her nieces and nephews

Kylee had just as much fun with her nieces & nephews as Shera did. It was lovely to see, she has missed out on so much of their growing up over the years with her being in Melbourne.

The house settlement will be finalised on Monday and she has decided she is going to spend some of it on herself....and is going to go on a Kontiki tour for 14 days in Europe....London, Paris & Rome being some of the places. She says it will be a birthday gift to herself.

Tomorrow I am getting yet another quote for my kitchen, one of these days IT WILL BE DONE!!!  lets see what tomorrow brings.

ohh and next week I am having a professional photo shoot...I won a 3 hour portrait session with a photographer. They have asked me to bring in 3 outfits...and I am hoping either hubby or Kylee will come with me.  
Am I excited.....

yep :-)
  
A stylist will be there to do my hair and makeup, I am so looking forward to that. It will be a birthday gift to me....even if I have to do it by myself.

Bit of a grump....

House sold, car packed...hurry up removalists....

Our view from our tent on the Murry River.

Murray River Queen

Great Australian Bight

Great Australian Bight

Trying my best to settle in to my eating plan after my drive across the country....have my good days and bad days. More bad parts these past few daysdue to a few obnoxious people at my work place. Not nice when your're told "what do you know, your're uneducated and JUST a cleaner" !!  Ahhh well.  Lucky I do my like my job.... :-)
My weigh in on Tuesday showed a 2 kilo gain....quite good considering being on my backside for 4 days and not eating correctly....
Kylee's container of all her wordly goods arrived this morning....missing a basket  of her bike, and her washing machine has a crack across the top of it. Unfortunately after paying to get it across here she couldn't afford insurance as well....
Right best move...have to shake off these grumps and get moving....

I'm back....

Taken out of the window of plane flying to Melbourne

Tracey, Helen & me. Tracey & Helen and I met at a ww's weekend away in Melbourne 6 years ago.

Kylee & Emily...Ems is Kylee's Melbourne bestie

Maria & I....we also met 6 years ago at ww get together and remained good friends too.

I flew into Melbourne on Thursday night.  Friday was catch up sleep, shopping for trip and take cat to the vet day. Friday night I caught up and had dinner with Tracey &
Helen. A lot of laughs, giggles and a few tears but what a great evening..t'was so great to catch up again.  Saturday Kylee had her goodbye's to say to her bestie...a lot of laughs and so many tears shed too. Sunday night I caught up with Maria, another great friend I met through the ww boards.  Monday & Tuesday morning we spent cleaning what we could of the house, couldn't do too much as Stephen still had to get all his gear out....and then Tuesday afternoon the removalist arrived...hours late but all was packed up very quickly. We loaded the cat into the car and followed the removalist out of the estate. Arrived home safe and sound after 3 1/2 days on the road and 3,500 plus kilometers. 

I will be back in the next day or so to update more, and put pics up of our journey across.....weigh in tomorrow morning....

January Birthdays

January is a month full of birthdays for me.
It started on January 1st with my ex-boss, then the 6th was my sisters day, 7th was my grandaughter Jaydene who turned 5. The 10th was Simon, the 11th was Pauls, and the 12th was a very good friend of mine Zoe who also was my workmate for 4 years.
The 16th was another grandaughter, Jessica reached double numbers and turned 10 and on Friday Shawn's partner Shaz will have her day. And lastly on the 21st is a friend of mine who lives in Victoria's birthday. I am hoping to catch up with him while I am there. He is suffering from Parkinsons Disease but so far his general good health and medication is keeping the disease fairly well under control.

On Thursday afternoon I fly to Melbourne to help Kylee finish packing up her house and possessions all ready for our drive home the following week. Kylee has her last shift at her work on Sunday.
She had a phone call from the human resources manager of Woolworths in Bunbury and Kylee will start work in a brand new Woolies store just a 6 minute drive from our home on the 30th of January. She will be working in the bakery section and is very excited about the job....new store, new job....new begininnings. So here's hoping the removalists arrive on time and we get on the road and have a trouble free trip across. Its going to be a long drive....but I am looking forward to the time we will have together.

Weigh in this morning....a stay the same.
Now I just have to keep it together during the next 2 weeks and don't blow it !!

Pizza

mmmmm this is what I indulged in last night !!

I went to Mandurah to catch up with a very good friend I met through the ww site, we had a great catch up and indulged in a lovely healthy lunch at the Dome on the waterfront.  It was lovely as it was a very hot and humid day.
On arriving home, hubby & I decided to have a late dinner as it was soooooooo hot which was great as it was only to be steak & vegies. But when I went off to the kitchen to prepare hubby came wandering in and says "how does pizza sound" ?  Now he NEVER suggests something like that, welllllllllllll very rarely anyways so thats what we did.
It was simply deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevine !!!  Just thinking about it is making my mouth water !!

BUT why didn't I stop at just the pizza? 
 I don't know!!  
I could blame the fact that I didn't take my thyroid pills yesterday BUT I can't coz I know it wasn't just that reason.
I KNOW it was because once I treat myself to something I decide to throw caution to the wind and indulge myself more. It seems to be "you know a little more won't hurt" and so thats what I did.  And now I hope I haven't just stuffed up what was to be another great week. Today, and till next weigh in,  I am making sure I am eating ONLY Simply filling foods and tracking every little morsel.

I WILL LEARN !!!

Simply Filling

After a great week on Simply Filling, and I used up all my bonus 49 points too....I LOST 2.3 this week. I am wrapt!!
Hope that this week it doesn't go all pear shaped and I don't lose at all !!
Think a lot of it is that I am not snacking as I am content after my meals PLUS I have Shera who is making me up my exercise that bit extra. She is a very exuberant puppy who loves her walks and plays, I get towed for the first 30 minutes of our walk!!

Next week I am off to Melbourne to help Kylee drive back home. She has a job starting here on the 30th so she will be leaving Melbourne before settlement of the house. Kylee did have someone else to help her make the drive but due to her having to leave early they can't do the trip and I am NOT having her do the trip on her own!  
So this week I am hoping for another great week as I think the following one will be "full on" driving with not much exercise.

Puppy sitting Shera

ahhh water, I love water...

C'mon play time...

Rest time..just for a few minutes

Shera is settling in fine without dear daughter. I thought she would fret for her "mummy" but so far she hasn't. 
I walk her every morning, can't get out of my walking now can I?
Unfortunately have we no secure yard so she is tied up while I am at work, or busy in the house as she does wander, and I just couldn't bare to have her wander, she doesn't know the area and is not all that road savvy!!  While I am home I spend as much time as I can with her playing....and then when I am working I walk her before work and I spend 45 minutes after work playing with her, throwing balls or on a hot day like today playing with the hose.
Poor puss has had his nose put out of joint having Shera here. All Shera wants to do is play but Doog just arches his back and spits at him. Shera bounds around him, getting as close as she can....you would think with all the spitting & snarling my cat does Shera would get the message.....but nahhh she doesn't. Going to end up with a scratched nose methinks!!

I am back on track, having gained a kilo over the Christmas/New Year. I am still using the ww simply filling plan and  enjoying it. Will see what this week brings, weigh ins are on Tuesdays.

Happy New Year...

Tomorrow is the start of a New year and as I reflect on the  passing of this one I can hope 2012 brings happiness to us all.

For my son Paul and his partner Tanya and children I hope that this year Paul makes a commitment to Tanya and they marry. Paul for some reason he feels they don't need the piece of paper to do that...but Tanya would love to have the same name.


For Simon & Tracey...I hope the contentment they have found since marrying continues.

For Shawn and Shaz...I hope that this year he can rid of his demons and find and believe in happiness again. He needs to know again that drugs & drink are not necessary to drown his sorrows in....and that he can find happiness without them. For him and Shaz the road hasn't been easy, this coming year I hope its not as bumpy. He has a bright future if he can kick his bad habits.

For Kylee .... for her to find her feet again and live her dreams.


For me...I have my everything in Ted, he is my everything ... BUT I would love to have a bit more of a social life. We are such homebodies and it has become too much of a habit....we need to get out and about more.


TO EVERYONE I WISH YOU GOOD HEALTH AND HAPPINESS FOR THE COMING NEW YEAR.

Onwards...

Daughter and her Daddy

 Dear daughter arrived safely....on the 23rd, as did Shera the dog. Kylee has spent most of her time in and out catching up with family and friends. Yesterday she did go around to all the Woolworths stores and hand in her resume. Fingers crossed she gets a position, casual, part-time,  full -time she doesn't care!

Santa, the christmas kitten

 This little cutie wandered into our yard on Christmas morning while we were having breakfast on the patio. I looked at Kylee as she has a habit of bringing home stray animals...but she said it had nothing to do with her. Anyways it was friendly, litter trained but starving so we fed it and cuddled it. Would have loved to have kept it but having a cat already, plus Shera,  and another cat arriving when Kylee moves home permanently we decided to give it to our little grandson Matthew. He did ask me for a kitten or a puppy for Christmas.

Shera

And this our Shera, well she will be ours for a month or so from the 2nd January when Kylee flies back to Melbourne and packs up and waits for settlement on the house. 
She loves to walk and I already have got into the habit of putting her harness on and walking her first thing in the morning.

I didn't weigh in on Tuesday after Christmas, but did have a quick peep at the scales...a small gain but hopefully now I have reined myself back in and got back on track after all the Christmas festivities by next weigh I hope to have lost it again.

Merry Christmas

To all my friends, I wish each and everyone of you and yours all the very best wishes for a very MERRY CHRISTMAS.

Take care, be safe.....

A good week ....

Shera

Well despite a week filled with drama's I managed to lose 600grams...very pleased about that!!

A lot of the drama's have been to do with Stephen & Kylee...won't go into them all but Kylee has found out that Stephen had been unfaithful before they split and he is now expecting a child with someone else. Hubby & I are very upset about this as right from the start of this breakup he said there was noone else and it had nothing to do with Kylee being unable to have kids without treatment!! So you can all imagine how my girl feels.

Well acually by all, its very quiet out in bloggerland...I didn't even get a comment last week...

This gorgeous little puppy above is a bit bigger now. She is Kylee's dog Shera (a retrieverdor..part retriever & labrador) and she flies in on Friday with Kylee. Kylee is home for Christmas and New Year then flies back to Melbourne to pack up the house ready to move back home as soon as settlement is sorted. Shera will be staying with us...we are doggy sitting.

Well best get myself ready for work.

On Track.....

Tommy and me

Week one of Simply filling has been done and dusted....weigh in result is 1.3 down. Very happy. Simply Filling is easy, for those that have done weight watchers before its just a modified version of the Core program.  All  I am doing is eating foods with a higher fibre, lower saturated fat and sugar.
Menu today for an example is poached eggs on grainy toast for breakfast, chicken breast and salad for lunch and dinner tonight is fish with wholemeal pasta & vege's. I point the bread out of my allowance.

I still have to track, as with the program now I have 49 pro-points to last me a week. The rest of the time I make my choices from filling & healthy food list (a little green triangle indicates those on the ww site) BUT I am finding it sooooooo easy.

Had a busy weekend. Simon & Tracey came down with their brood of 4 and bought all their school work for the term down. All 4 have done well. Jessica & Zoe both got honor certificates for their academic results this year, Sheymus got an award for his sport and willinginess to work as a team member and little Tommy got a certificate for trying his best at kindy.  They have done so well this year and I am so proud of them all.

Well best go put my joggers on, nearly time for a jabberwalk, seeing as the rain as stopped. I want to try as hard as I can to lose this week, as I have no real Christmas challenges to overcome this week.  Gonna give it my best shot anyways......

Rejoined again.....

This morning I had my first consult with my ww "At Home" consultant since putting it on hold way back in August. What with all that was happening in my life with Kylee and work it just got too hard.
But looking at my scales yoyo'ing these past few months,  its made me realise I cannot do it on my own, espesially as each time I yoyo the numbers get higher. Last week the numbers showed that I was  MORE than 10 kilo's over my goal weight!
This time I am not counting points, I am doing the  "Simply Filling"  program. This is the first time I have done it....but its seems to be easy. Today I have eaten well and haven't been attempted to snack.
Soooooo lets see what the week brings.

Wedding pics

The gorgeous bride and her dad

The groom and his best man and groomsmen

The lovely bridesmaids

Our bestest friends and parents of the bride

Luke and Jemma with their gorgeous daughter Marlee

Josh Kennedy, one of the groomsmen and West Coast Eagle footy star with his god-daughter Marlee and me