All good...

Am clapping my hands.....all's good. I stayed on track all week and was rewarded at weigh in with a 1.3 kilo loss.....yay!! And I only rewarded myself with 2 yummy wines, a Apricot wine, I bought at the local show on Saturday. So here's hoping I have another good week this week....I want this weight gone now !!

Grandies visit

On Saturday I picked up Shawn and travelled down to Busselton for an access visit with his kids....his first since the vro was issued, so he hadn't seen his kids for 2 weeks. And me, I hadn't seen them since the beginning of July, and boy haven't they grown heaps, espesially baby Kaleb. It was a marvellous couple of hours, the kids were so happy to see their Daddy, the love they have for him shows soooooo much. And he loves them too.....but still he continues to use that dreaded 'weed' !! One day maybe he will wake up to how much he is missing out on.

The few hours with them went by too quickly, but we fitted so much in with them and had the bestest time. Lots of tears from us all when it was time to say goodbye. Shawn should have another visit this weekend.

Weigh in was last night, I climbed on the scales knowing I had a real great week only to be told you GAINED!! Was not very happy!!! It was only a 100 grams but !!!! Came home and had 3 or 4 stiff drinks and drowned my sorrow.....something I don't do very often......

........and yeahhhh this morning woke up with a headache and got myself back on track.

Had a great week....

.....but at weigh in only lost 400grams, am quite disappointed, thought it would have been more. Ahhhhhhh well, at least it was down.

Had 2 of the grandies here on Saturday, the girls stayed overnight. Sunday morning they were up early...very early, 6.10am to be precise!! Me and my big mouth .... told them we would walk down to the park straight after breakkie. They thought the earlier they got up the earlier they could go down the park.....mmmmmmmmm

Shawn is still the same, no change. I wonder how I can love him so much yet hate him just as much, he has thrown so much away with the lifestyle he choses to live. Wish he could see what he is doing to himself, but with the physcosis the drug usage has given him he just can't. Wish he could remember how his life did change when he rehabilated, but he won't !! His birthday is this week, turns 27 on Thursday.

Picture is of him with my mum when mum was up on one of her weekend visits.

Weighed in

I did go to weigh in last night...mmmmm was not good, and it won't be good if I keep on pigging out like I did after I ate my lovely weight watchers meal last night. I had a craving for fresh bread rolls and yeahhhh I gave in to it and ate 4 of them !!! But I pointed them....and today is another new day.
I walked this morning, only 20 minutes as I had a headache....punishment for too much bread!! I don't normally eat white bread.

Now lets see if I can improve.....

The good and the bad....

I have been travelling along quite well, walking most days, eating within my points most days and been very proud of myself.....yay back on track !! Thou much to my utter disgust my scales don't tell me that. I hopped on them and they went UP ..... grrrrrrr bloody scales, they ended up out the front door and in the garden !!! BUT I did calm down and kept myself from being a little "oink" and have been staying good. And thats despite all the shit that been happening!!

Yep...Shawn again....#1 in the happening department he is, proper little shit he is too. Hannah has issued another vro on him, which was served on him today...not because he has been violent but because of his moods/aggression, its not getting any better. She wants the kids back and with Shawn being the way he is and them being together they are not likely to. I don't blame her for doing it, she has no choice I don't think, those kids need to be back at home together. The courts have also ordered Shawn to halve his cannabis usage in the next 3 months or lose visitation rights to his kids. They will monitor that by weekly urine samples. So he is out on the streets again getting into heck knows what! He got his tax check back the other day and rang me today and asked me if I would grab some of the money off him before he did something stupid with it. But geeeeeeeee had mum with me today (when we went and got some $$'s off him) and she saw first hand how "moody" he has become.....his mood swings from good to downright rude in just seconds. You have to watch everything you say, say the wrong word and he just explodes, very frightening for mum to see when just minutes before he was cuddling with her and having a joke. Mum idolises Shawn but hadn't believed me that Shawn was as bad as I had been telling her. When she was up a few weeks ago she noticed he was "stressed" but has realised now its a lot more than that. We pleaded with him today to go to the hospital and get some help.
Mum is up staying with me for the weekend as her neighbours are having a big birthday bash, very noisy they warned her so I had my brother drop her off on his way throu to Perth. Mum, at 80, doesn't need her days and nights disturbed by drunken louts.

Ted's mum gave us a scare the other day too....she got a splinter in her hand and even thou it got sore and infected she didn't let us or any of the other family know till she saw the Dr on Tuesday arvo. Tuesday night she had surgery to get it out. Ted's mum is 84 and surgery at that age is pretty scary. Thankfully she was ok, they got the splinter out, pumped her with antibotics and kept her in hospital till Friday and she is now home recovering well.

Well its a matter of wait and see what happens now, I think with Shawn its going to be bad, very bad, I just have a real bad feeling about it. I hope and pray I am wrong and that he proves me wrong by changing.

Monday is weigh in day again....so I am trying my darn hardest to keep the halo on !

Will I ever learn....

grrrrrrrr I am so over myself, will I ever learn !!!

Food is there to eat when you need fuel and or hungry...NOT to eat and try to make me feel better. WHY do I do it!!!!!

And WHY is it always the wrong food, the sweet, fatty, sugary ones????

ahhhh wellllll here we go again....

Had a good week

It has been a long wet week....but I have managed to excersise 5 days out of the week, and managed a loss of 500 grams. Am happy that I have managed to stay on track, it hasn't been easy, this colder weather makes a person want to eat.

Had my brother drop mum off here for the weekend as he travelled throu on up to the city. So had a good couple of days with her. She still as active as ever but is slowly starting to show her age and tires a heck of a lot quicker than she used too. Took her in to see Shawn and Hannah, they were as broke as so went shopping for them and stocked up their pantry. Things are the same with them, still no progress with getting the kids back and as yet I still haven't heard when/if me and hubby can have an access visit with them. Shawn is still as moody as ever and mum noticed too on Saturday that he is very nervous/stressed and we think he is heading for a breakdown. Sunday had a phone call from him, he and Hannah were bickering again.....so think that breakdown is coming sooner rather than later. That scares me....

Day 1.....again.....

These pics are from our holiday...this is the Kings Canyons and would have to be my favourite part of the trip. Me and Tina did the 3 hour walk up, over, throu and down the canyon.....and loved every minute of it. Wowwwwww we just climbed that!!

But heyyyyyy it was so worth it....lookk at that !!

And this !!

Just look at these rocks....

Tina and I up on the highest point of the Canyon, quite proud of our efforts to get this far.

This picture shows where we got to climb over and throu...but if the sights we see are what we have already seen it will be well worth it.

Loved this cliff face...just look at the colours, they were fantastic, sometimes a camera just doesn't do justice.

Clamber up and over these rocks, around the corner and its the down hill run....only a few more k's to go.

The path on the way down....and boy we were glad we did the 3 hour walk....it was fantastic, worth every minute of it.

Today was the day I finally got my head around this menopause crap again. I woke up this morning after having one of the best nights sleep I have had in a while, so decided there and then it was the day to get my backside into gear AGAIN and start trying to get myself back on track. With that I dressed, put on my joggers and went for an hours walk, came back and had a filling breakfast...and yayyyy I have managed to stay on track all day.

Stay away hot flushes....I feel good about myself again and ready to deal with the ongoing battle I have been having with these extra kilo's I have gained.

Maybe if these hot flushes persist I might go back to my Dr and see if I can go back on HRT again. Was on them for over 2 years but went off them as they just weren't giving me any relief from the flushes, the itches and the persistent bleeding.

mmmm here we go again....

Me with little Mathew on Father's day.......

Well here I am again....computer has been fixed, it did need a new hard drive so yep I have lost everything. I asked for the broken one but was told it had been tossed....NOT happy about that and yes I did let them know!!!

Having a terrible time with hot flushes, aches and pains and emotional eating. It seems to be a never ending cycle with me of late, go well for a couple of weeks, lose a couple of kilo's and start to feel good about myself again and then WHAMMO.....will I ever get to feel good about me again?

Have had some visitors staying with us, Kaye has been throu menopause so knew what I was going throu thankfully as I am afraid I wasn't 100% for their stay. But we did have a great time. Sadly they had to leave early and make their way quickly back to home (in QLD) as Kay's mum health is declining...and of course Kay needs to be with her.

Hopefully I can get myself back on track as soon as possible and get these few kilo's off again....coz it is really getting me down.

Am here....

Just.....
My new p/c which is just 6 months old has died....apparently the hard drive has gone in it. I am NOT happy.....all my photo's have gone !! All my babies pics....gone. Have some of them on disc, but not many.....I hadn't learnt how to do any back ups.....ohhhhhhhhhhhh why didn't I learn?
Anyways maybe when I get the p/c back it might not be as bad as I was told.

Received a letter from Shawn, and a phone call too....he seems okay, very worried about his eldest child...apparently she was told her Daddy is not going to be her daddy anymore. Shawn has of course filed a complaint....but sheeeeeeeeez how cruel is this department??

Weigh in was MOnday, lost another kilo....going down but still a long way to go.

Bugger !!

Have for some reason been eating....and eating what I shouldn't be eating and I must admit today it got out of control...god damn it, I hate it when I do this to myself!! I know I am doing it, know I shouldn't but I just can't control myself!!

Anyways now I just HAVE to get myself back on track.....have 3 days before weigh in so here's hoping a bit of damage control will help!

I guess this with Shawn has affected me more than I thought it would....he seems to be constantly on my mind.

Anyways have put some pics up of our trip again....this time its Ayers Rock.

I didn't climb it, people were like ants all up it so decided to do the 9.7k walk around it, and so glad I did....its magnificent. Some of the rock formations, art work, and even a pool there are absolutely fantastic. The walk took us about 3 hours, what with all the things we stopped to look at, take pics of and just generally took our time talking and sightseeing....

I recommend the walk around to anyone that goes there.

Just a quick update

Alls going okay....

Been real busy at work and at home. Work seems to be always busy even when we are told there isn't much on....

At home decided to get into this room where I have this pc and hubby has his amateur radio. Room was looking a bit drab so on the weekend we decided to paint, recarpet and spruce it up. Very refreshing to walk into now.

Saturday night was Ted's mum's 84th birthday, we went up and had a family get together for her...was a great night. Lots of food with a very tasty birthday cake from the Cheesecake shop but I was able to eat quite good knowing I had to weigh in on the Monday. Paul and Tanya and kids and Simon and Trace and their kids were there....no Shawn. He has been very quiet, I haven't contacted him, thou he has texted me once to say thank you for helping him out previously and would I help him out again with a few $'s which he needed to provide afternoon teas for his kids on his access visits this week. I texted back I would but only because it was for the kids and I would post him a parcel. I am finding it very hard to isolate myself from him but know it has to be done.

I went to ww last week and lost 800grams, and on Monday night I lost 700grams so I have managed to get myself on track again, but still have a way to go yet.

Just a bit more...

Just a few more pics for you.

These pics are from the time we crossed the WA/NT border and reached the Olga's.

Those stones are enormous and very empowering. The first sight of them is just beautiful, the colours are very vivid and changeable with the light and shadows....a camera just does not do them justice. They have a powerful aura that just draws you into them.

We spent a good couple of hours walking around and through them as well as driving around them, and the whole time they kept us spellbound. They are amazing.

The weekend just absolutely flew by and we managed to achieve quite a bit in catching up on chores that were neglected while we were away...mainly the garden. The weather was really yuk, with wind and showers all weekend, but in between the showers we managed to get a fair bit done.

Also had a big blow-up with Shawn last night. He rang up in tears asking to speak to his father and asked for his father's advice as he and Hannah had had another argument! To cut a long story short his father told him bluntly the only thing that would stop the arguments was for him to stop the drugs/booze and all his troubles would go. Shawn didn't take kindly to it and and started to abuse us saying very cruel, unkind and very nasty things to us in the most vilest language. I was a mess, in tears and have now vowed I will not be going near him or for that matter talking to him again until he can prove that he has made moves to give up the drugs. I ám now scared of what he is capable of doing to himself or for that matter us.

Holiday and other stuff......

This is a picture of one of the monastery at New Norcia

This is a pic of what they call London Bridge at Sandstone

This is the Great Central Road, the road across the desert.

We started our journey from home here in Australind (near Bunbury, Western Australia) and day 1 saw us drive from home to Mt Magnet where we stayed overnight as we had to meet up with our travelling companions who were travelling from Geraldton the next day. Our journey was going to take us from Mt Magnet to Leonara, across the Great Central Road taking us throu Warburton and Giles before crossing the West Australia/Northern Territory border.

We were all travelling in 4x4 trayback vechiles with canopies on the back. Under those canopies we were all self-contained with all our food, beds, etc... Of an evening when we pulled up for the night it was a matter of undoing the back, pulling out the table and chairs, the stove and gas bottles and in matter of minutes we were organised and cooking. Think I have some pics somewhere of us all set up somewhere....anyways as I find them I'll write more of our trip.

Home front is going well. Been a long week at work, geeeee was very tiring after being away from it for 6 weeks but I managed. Food and excersise has been reasonable and I have stayed on track, will see what the scales say on Monday evening.

Have had a few runs in with Shawn and hopefully that helped him and Hannah to make a decision on Friday when they had to go to court on Friday about their kids. They have finally decided to work together towards getting their kids back......and more importantly part of that deal is Shawn trying to get off the drugs. Anyways we will see what happens now.....things have a habit of changing rapidly around Shawn, and with DCP too for that matter.

Today

Just a few pics from our holiday.

Today was my first day back at work....and on arrival I was welcomed back with opened arms, was nice to know I was missed! But by the end of the day it was a tired and grumpy me that left work. Forgotten how tiring it was just standing there grading carrots all day. Only home long enough to have a cuppa and then shower before heading off to my ww meeting. As expected I DID gain, gained 3 kilo's soooooo it bac to the grindstone and lose it again. Not in any real hurry, just want it gone, then stabilise and maintain my weight! I want to look the best for Kylee's wedding.

Had a busy weekend, organising myself after our holiday, packing away the camping gear, cleaning up the garden, stocking the pantry, paying the bills and fighting with Shawn. Didn't take long to come back to the real world ehhh?

Shawn has gotten worse, if he doesn't watch himself he is going to lose everything dear to him. Had to tell him on the weekend to grow up, get rid of the drugs as we can't help him any more. He was so moody, irrational, argumentive and paronoid, I despair as to what he is going to do next....he is living in a unreal world. Don't know what is going to happen next....

I am missing his kids so much, I haven't heard anything from DCP as to my request for visitations, its so not fair.

Anyways off to organise myself for another day tomorrow....

I'm Back

We are back from our holidays, had a fantastic time and really didn't want to come home.

We travelled 12, 443 kilometers and saw sooooo much fantastic scenery. We went on cruises, we took helicopter rides, skimmed around on wetlands in airboats, climbed and clambered over canyons, throu gorges, swam in thermal pools and waded in oceans.

Didn't do as I said I would and I ate and drank well too much and the clothes were very tight when I got home. But on my return I have got back into routine and hopefully damage won't be as bad as I think. Thank god I did all the excersise I did do!

Anyways Monday is my weigh in evening so we'll see what those demon scales say then.

Then I have just under 8 months till dear daughter gets married so my aim is to get weight under control, stabilise it and of course maintain it.

Going....

.....on camping holiday and won't be back for 6 weeks.

On Saturday, my dear Mum turned 80 !! Congratulations Mum, we love you. So happy you enjoyed the little get together/celebration we gave you. Pity the weather was crap and you didn't get to have your harley ride....next time ehhhh?

My mum cutting her gorgeous cake....mmmm it looked great but tasted even better!

My little sister Pauline, mum, my big brother Rodney and me

Alls been going okay in the world of Jen....its been a busy time, packing for this camping trip away. We are heading off inland out into the desert, will cross the NT/WA border and come out at the Olga's, will visit Ayers Rock, tour the Mcdonnell Ranges, Alice Spring, Katherine, Lichfield Nat Park, Darwin, come down the Wa coast ducking inland now and then to check out a few places as we head home.

Went to weigh in on Monday night, not impressed as I stuck to my points 100% (but didn't excersiseas it was to wet and darn cold) and ended up gaining 400grams......hhmmmmmmm!

Anyways....I have been naughty these past few days and been eating crap.....but I have made a promise to myself that I will not over-indulge while I am away and come back a blob like I did when I went to Melbourne. Have packed my food calculator and skipping rope.....so for now, be good, be safe, and we'll see you all in 6 weeks.....byeeeeeeeee

Scales going down.....

.....slowly !!

Went to weight watchers meeting tonight and scales are down by 800grams. I have had another great week, its been so cold that soup has been on the menu quite a bit so I guess that has helped. Excersise is still down to what it usually is but this week was better than last week. Ahhhhh well will see what next week brings....my last weigh in before take off!

Saturday we are off down to Manjimup for mum's 80th birthday party. Not going to stay down there overnight as on Sunday we want to do some final packing up and some last minute chores around here as we take off on hols on Friday 3rd July, so next weekend will be our last one home before we go. Mum is getting excited about the party....so thats great.

Shawn and Hannah are still visiting the kids and have heard nothing yet as to when/if they will get the kids back. The kids have been moved AGAIN, and are all separarated from each other. They took them down to Busselton so they could be together more...yeahhhh that didn't last long did it! Luckily they do see one another regularly.

One week down

One week down and 2 more weigh in's to go before we leave on our trip. Have had a great week. At last weeks's meeting I bought the new calculater and I have been tracking my points on that (plus checking out the point values of a few things)....and yayyyyyyy I had a whole week of sticking to points. Excersise hasn't been as good as it usually is....wet and cold weather has kept me indoors for some of the week BUT I have dragged out a few dvd's to do for this week, just in case as rain is forecasted again.

Anyways weigh in....lost 900grams.....am happy with that. Still have over 4 kilo's to get to within the 2 kilo's of goal.....but not too worried about that, just to be losing again and feeling good about me is what I am happy about.

Nothing much else is happening, still no changes with Shawn and Hannah.....they still haven't got the kids back. I don't know what progress has been made there, if any, I have taken a few steps back from them and letting them deal with their problems themselves, trying not to take on too much of their stress as well. They know where I am if they need me....they know that.

I have written to DCP thou and requested access visits for hubby and I for when we get back from hols...as granparents we are entitled , now the kids are down in Busselton and Shawn has his access visits down there we don't see the kids anymore....we miss them.

Weighed in

Weighed in tonight....am 7 kilo's over goal...or 5 kilo's if I take off the 2 kilo's we are allowed over. Soooooo my goal to myself is in 4 weeks....which is what I have before we take off on holidays.....is to lose 5 kilo's.

I have sabotaged myself tonight....stupid me. Today was so busy at work that I ate on the run and by the time the work day was over and I had weighed in I was starving and just over-ate!! Luckily I realised what I was doing before I really over did it.....so maybe the damage won't be bad!

Here's hoping for a great week...go Jen !