I am here...

I am back....
Life has been sooooooo busy, sooooooo stressful of late that yep I lost my way.
Sooooo much happening.
My diet went out the window.
But things are slowly settling down and I have slowly gotten back on the wagon and putting myself and my health first.
I can't look after kids properly when I am not looking after myself.

Anyways Kylee has been to court. 
Bozo can NOT take the kids away from her.
He can have visitations SUPERVISED by Anglicare 2 hours once a fortnight...which will be reviewed again after 8 visits. He protested this BUT the magistrate told him due to his behaviour it was this or nothing!! He also gets 2 x 15 minutes FaceTime a week. 
I am so hoping this helps William as he has been missing his Dad. Councelling has been organised  for him (as he needs more understanding of the situation than we can give him)by a Dr and the Safe Police but there is such a long wait list. 

I also have a 12 year old going on 20 granddaughter in our temporary care due to a foster care breakdown. Attitude plus she has!! 
Talking of her...best get her organised for school. 

Back again...

Back again....and slowly getting myself on track again.
Kylee has taken 2 weeks leave to spend the school holidays with William....he is so excited. So much so he woke Mummy up at 5.30 this morning wanting to know what their first adventure was going to be !! 
So...I don't have the kids for 2 weeks (other than a night this week and 1 night next week while Mummy has nights out with friends)
Shawn has left for 2 weeks up north with his Uncle camping and fishing.....so that leaves me and my man here in the house alone!!!
First night...we celebrated and had take away...not good but hell I enjoyed it. Back on the wagon I hopped today. 
Leading up to this I have slowly gotten myself 95% on track. Weigh in Saturday morning showed a 400g gain...but I was happy with that as they were a lot higher the last sneak peek I had during the week. 

Looks like a early court date for Kylee. She has received word that she will be served family court papers on Tuesday. Looks like the ex is applying to have pro for the kids dropped again.  The way he still carrying on...I hope not. The man is not right in the head!! 
BUT I will not let it get to me......we will wait and see what happens. 
Till later...

Lost my way...

Mum and my cousin Ray 

Mum would have been 90 on July 1st. I fully expected her to make it too. This the 4th birthday without her.
The shock of her passing unexpectedly is still unbelievable. Hubby and I were on a cruise,  a day out of Noumea when I received that phone call.
This birthday I have truly missed her. 
Often when I am down, need a mum chat, or just have something I want to say to her I will usually find a feather.  Mum loved birds. The day we buried her,  I looked up and 2 birds were circling above. Every time I visit her, birds are at the cemetery. 
Her birthday came and went....and NO FEATHER. 
I needed it. 
Worst day in a long time. 

Mum and my brother Rod 

I am really struggling atm.....
Last weigh in I had a gain of 900g...this week I am having a no weigh. I've lost my way a bit and I need to regroup. I can't keep going on like this....BUT i do need to let myself deal with my emotions too. Im on a day off....so going to have a rest day then I have shifts for the next 3 days before having the weekend off. No little ones tonight or tomorrow night so I can regroup before they back for a couple more nights. School holidays start at the end of this week and yay yay yay Kylee is taking holidays too and spending them with the kids....so looking forward to that. 
I'm led to believe though that she is having a girls night out with some of her friends so I MAY have to babysit.....

Slowly....

Plodding along ever so slowly this week.
I escaped with a sts on Saturday weigh in after a 3 day carb binge, and after weigh in what did I do...I started another binge. Must stop this yoyo'ing and get back into my rhythm...

Just a few picks of the little ones...they are growing so quickly. 

Also, all quiet on the Bozo front. 
We haven't heard anything from the courts or from the police re: the charges he received....but we think the charges he received must have been enough to stop the court papers he filed to see the kids from going through ... he filed the paperwork at court on the 5th June,  and then he went to court on the 9th and charged with breaching vro and stalking Kylee...so looks like karma came and bit him on his fat ass!! 

Kylee has never wanted to separate him from his kids...but being a mum she has to put her kids first and thats what she did. For the kids sake, especially Williams I hope he gets his shit together and sorts out his mental health. 

Still plodding along....

So another loss this week, 400g off.
It was a yoyo week, had a few lapses then picked myself up and got back on the wagon.
Somedays its a real struggle.
I still have the Kylee's kids 3 or 4 nights a week. These past few weeks have really tested me. William has his cast off and is wearing a brace, so he's still not allowed to over exert himself. He really pushes the limits sometimes and then when chastised he starts crying and says he misses his Daddy. 
Miss Summer is still cross cutting teeth. She is still suffering sinusitis despite 2 lots of antibiotics, and now she has foot, hand and mouth sores. She was sent home from daycare as she started the signs of them on Monday. Her immune system is so low...poor lil bubba.  
Her sleeping pattern is all over the place, her appetite is poor, but we are still so lucky that she has a happy nature... 

Have heard via Facebook that Garry has applied for access to the kids before they go back to court in November. Kylee is waiting for the papers to be served...they haven't arrived yet, Garry filed them at the court on the 5th June.  Im hoping they didn't accept them as the day after he filed them Kylee went to the Police Station and had him charged for breaching the VRO and stalking her. He is back on Facebook insinuating parental alienation so unfortunately it looks like he just got a rap over the knuckles. Breaching a VRO can mean a jail sentence and fines up to $6,000. 
I tell you he is a real Bozo.  He was the one that cheated. He was the one that harassed Kylee with intimidating, threatening and cruel texts 24/7  He was the one who drove texting with the kids in the car, he was the one who had a feeling he "something was going to happen when he drove to work" ...then crashes the car...what if the kids had been in the car!!
Anyways....Kylee has a good lawyer....so we'll wait and see what happens. 
All Kylee wanted was him to go get his head sorted out...he really lost the plot when they separated. 

Long weekend

Its a long weekend here in Western Australia, Western Australia Day weekend for us.  Its my late Dad's birthday tomorrow, he always said that weekend was just for him to celebrate his special day. Gee I miss him. He was only 71 when he passed...the same age as my hubby Ted is now!!
A day off for me, but I did work a 4.5 hour shift on Saturday and a 4 hour one yesterday. 
I weighed in Friday morning...a whole kilo down for me....yay, I'm happy about that. The lurgy I had the weekend before may have contributed to that loss too...

A remember photo....
This weekend 1 year ago we were on Vancouver Island visiting with our Canadian friends on our "holiday of a lifetime".  I would go back and do the whole trip over again in a heartbeat. 

Lurgy

I am trying my hardest to be a patient dieter...seems to be working....slowly. Will keep at it.

Weighed in Friday...a gain this time, but only a few hundred grams. Hopefully I can shake it off this week. 

Just a quick post....got some sort of "lurgy" 
Went to bed at 6.30 last night, not feeling the best. 
Woke this morning feeling off. Had a few bouts of vomiting and a few bouts of the "shits" too...
William had vomiting yesterday, he was feeling heaps better by the end of the day....let hope I am too. 

Still here...

My lovely Mother in Law, this pic was taken about 10 years ago now.
A few days ago it was the 3rd anniversary of her passing. We all miss her greatly still. 

Its been a busy few weeks.
First up..the week before last I lost weight again...I have finally...since I started Keto,  lost over 10 kilo's!! I started lazy Keto on January 16th. 
This week with Mothers Day and kids staying over...I lost the plot for a few days. Ate carbs, ate whatever took my fancy...but I am now back on Keto. I just don't feel 100% eating the carbs and the junk food. Anyways I struck out and didn't weigh in, i knew the scales would be up and with my mindset the way it was I wasn't going too. Not knowing what the scales said made it easier to put the "blow out" out of my mind and getting myself back on track.

I love the Keto way of eating. Yes I still have my blow outs occasionally, but thankfully I can get myself back onto Keto quickly and rectify the damage I may have done. 
My body shape has changed, a few centimetres have been lost all over, my clothes fit a lot better...and I do feel healthier. 
A comparison pic below. The bottom was was taken in February, and top ones were taken at the beginning of this month. 

Another week....

A lot of people that I work with and that have seen what I eat (mainly the cheeses, salami and nuts) shake their heads and go really and you expect too lose weight eating those kind of foods??
My boss was one of them but he said the other day "I can't understand the diet but whatever you are doing it works, I can see you have lost weight". 
I don't understand it fully myself but I know it works too.
I know too if I veer off it I suffer too!! 
After weigh in Friday ( I lost 300grams) I succumbed to the pressure of my teenage granddaughters and I bought them lollies. Yes, I indulged...oh my god, way too much sugar for me. At he time of eating I was fine and of course I ate too many, and I woke up Saturday morning with the usual rotten headache after "bad" eating. 
AND a quick check of the scales showed me I shouldn't have done that!!
I still do participate in my online weight loss group. A new round starts on Wednesday 1st May...hope I can get myself back down to the last weigh in number. 

Today is a quiet day...and a day off!!
Have some cooking I want to get done, off to start as soon as I finish here. 
It was my last night of having the little ones till Thursday night. I am enjoying the freedom and the peace and quiet. They have been a bit of a handful the last few nights. 
William broke his arm a few days ago, he fell off a machine down the park and landed the wrong way and broke both bones in his wrist, so poor wee man has been in a fair bit of pain.  Kylee got a mutual friend to tell his Dad...and of course he went off and blamed Kylee for not looking after him properly!! Kids fall, have accidents...but I guess they wouldn't do that if he had them!!! 

And little Miss is cross cutting teeth and although she is happy enough during the day, at night she is waking up wanting her bottle (which she normally doesn't). The night before last I was up at midnight, 3am, 4.30am and then again at 6.30 either feeding, changing or giving her parasol or putting bongella on her gums...

Right I am outta here...while I am in the mood I best go do this cooking...I am not a lover of cooking so while the mood strikes I best go do it...

Lucky.....

I had a very bad couple of days after last week's weigh in..
A few stresses with the Kylee situation...and it got to me. I reverted back to emotional eating and didn't care what I ate.  Friday night I ate ice-cream which wasn't too bad I guess even though I didn't stop at just 1 !! Saturday morning I had work...and the smell of the takeaway got to me so I indulged in that!! After work I headed down to my  my aunties (My dad's last remaining sibling) to celebrate her 90th birthday. OMG...what a spread they put on for her....and I just couldn't resist the vanilla slices....
Home...and as I had my grandee's staying over their choice was takeaways...so yep I ate takeaway too !!
Sunday  I woke up during the night with the worst cramps in my legs...and in the morning with a thumping headache and a bloated and gurgling tummy....obviously they didn't like the food I was eating. Sooooooo I hopped back ont my lazy kept again and stuck to what suits me and my body.
Saturday morning saw my demon scales down 500grams...
All I can say is thank you Lazy Keto.  Thankfully I don't tend to veer off it too much. 

Still Losing...

I honestly never ever thought that I could do this way of eating.
I misguidedly tried it once before, but only lasted a few days as I thought the food was too rich for me...and at the time I didn't think I could live without bread. I of course went into it blind, didn't do it properly at all!! Now I love it, I find my body doesn't need too many carbs...I'm happy and best of all I am not inclined to cheat. I love the snack options....so I never go hungry or feel I am missing out. Yes, I have had a few off kept days but I have very quickly got back onto it after the occasions. 
Well its 3 months on the 16th of this month since I started lazy Keto and with the 300g I lost this week I have lost 8.5 kilo's. Slow and steady ... but as long as it keeps coming off I am happy. 

oops nearly forgot.

Ooooops nearly forgot. 
I weighed in on Friday morning in case I forgot on the Saturday as I knew Saturday was going to be full on with the party...and the kids....

Anyways a loss of 400g to add to the total...slowly but surely the number is getting smaller!!
Still not setting goals...just chipping away at it week by week. 
I seem to set goals and when I don't achieve them, stuff it all up by eating my emotions. I do miss those cupcakes and and and....so we won't go there ehhhh 
I only have one long term goal and that is to be into a pair of jeans I have kept like forever for a cruise that I am doing next year with my sister.  Its definitely doable...but for the moment its one day at a time. 

Our Miss 1 year old.

Mummy and her lil Bug at the start of the party

Summer loved the bouncy castle

Aunty Tanya just loves lil Miss Summer. 

Cake smash time 

mmmmm icing...sticky icing!!

Mummy had her face smashed too

Happy much ?? 

 Doesn't my girl look so happy. A huge weight has been lifted off her shoulders....so good to see her really smile. 

The water slide was a HUGE hit too, especially with the bigger kids. Summer found it too and was one dirty and wet lil BUG!! 

Miss Summer let her big brother William blow out the cake.
Thank you Miss Crystal...it was a winner. Soooooo tasty too 

Just quickly...

Weighed in this morning as I have a busy weekend. I really didn't have the best week, what with being sick still, the kids, work....some of my food was just grab and eat. Nothing bad, but sometimes just not right. Too tired too cook and prepare proper meals. Anyways another 200g gone. Hopefully this weekend I can keep some keto control happening.

Our little Miss Snugglebug turned 1 on Wednesday and tomorrow we are having a little party here for her...

Just where has that time gone. From the great occasion we found out Kylee was pregnant, then the joy of finding out it was twins, to the sadness that one didn't make it, to watching Kylee grow her, the birth and the absolute delight (and noise) she brings into our life. 

Another week down...

It hasn't been the best week health wise. I have suffered and still suffering with a head cold/sinusitis and I am over it already. What with work and the little ones I have been feeling pretty blah I can tell you. 

Our best friends and us were meant to be off on a holiday later this year...but that has been canned. They have bought a block of land and just can't afford to go on 2 trips in the one year. (They already committed to a trip away in September)
Sooooo I have been on hubbies back getting him to see if we are going to go anywhere. I would love to get away for a few weeks at least this year.  Anyways will see what happens. Would love to just pack up and hop in the Toyota and just drive and see where the road takes us...

Anyways today was weigh in day. It was goodbye to another 600g....

A win....

Another week has scooted by. 
It hasn't been without its stresses but we have managed to ride them and carry on.
The ex objected to the vro and they have to go to court on the 2nd of April. He and Kylee have some mutual friends, a married couple, and he has been harassing them with calls and texts to the point that they are over it and him big time!! But he has revealed to them that his lawyer has told him not to try to override the vro as he hasn't got a chance of it happening. They have told Kylee this and also told him to fuck off and leave them alone.

Its been tough on us all. I have the kids from Thursday night to Monday night. I dearly love them but boy are they hard work. I have started to take supplements (vitamins) as I am constantly drained...but I wouldn't change a thing. 

With all happening I was able to stick to plan and was delighted to see a kilo loss this week. 

I am off to be bed early tonight, I need a good night sleep. And a lay in bed in the morning with no demanding little bodies wanting me....

A gain this week...

A terrible week this week....a lot of eating on the run...and though I tried to eat Keto it didn't always work that way.  Too much snacking didn't help either but the stress levels were high.
Kylee's situation escalated to the point that we had to go and get legal advice, which we did.
End result, a violence restraining order was put on her ex to stop him from having contact with her or the kids.  His intimidating threats and bullying phone calls and texts that Kylee had recorded/saved were enough for the magistrate to grant her the vro.  
He was getting worse daily, he wanted to control Kylee's life and was trying to manipulate her into doing as he wanted. He was even telling William his Mummy didn't like/love him. Who does that to a little 5 year old boy ?  William adored his Daddy and is going to find it hard without him...BUT he bought this upon himself. I hope he goes and seeks some help...he is mentally unstable. 
I can tell you this last week has been horrid....glad the vro is in place and we can try and move forward.  
Tomorrow I board the Keto train 100% again and see if I can remove this kilo I have gained. 

Weigh in day

Whether you want to loose weight, like me, or get fitter and healthier... it's not going to happen overnight! But if you just keep working at it a little each and every day, over time you will look back and be amazed at how much you've improved! I look back to when I started on the 16th January to now and I am amazed how far I have come. Since the start I have not been inclined to indulge or cheat. I have found ways to keep my carbs low and yet  indulge in foods that I love. I am winning.... The weight is coming off slower now than it was in the first few weeks, but if each week I shed a few hundred grams I will be happy. My clothes are fitting me better...I feel better and my skin feels great.  500g off today. I weighed in a day early as I have a early shift at work tomorrow morning.

Add caption

Talking about kids.....it was no uniform and crazy hair day at school today...so Uncle Shawn did Williams hair for him. He donned his favourite clothes and went to school with a grin from ear to ear...he LOVED his hair. One happy man. 

And look at this little Miss..
Was a hot night the night before last so kept her out playing longer than normal...I couldn't resist taking this pic....

Loves these little ones.
They hard work, have had them 6 nights this week....helping out Kylee due to her shifts and the ex changing his access night plans. But when they give you such happy smiles like these two do it makes it all worth it. 

Stressed...but coping with Keto...

Damn Garry, Kylee's ex is a real bastard.
He's full of threats, he's sending Kylee horrible nasty and bullying texts and then also tagging her on Facebook with Memes saying he loves her and she's horrible for not giving him a second chance. I missed a chance on Facebook last night, he posted a picture that could have got him in a whole lot of shit....and we could have kept the kids away from him today (his access weekend) but being tired and stressed I didn't even think of screenshotting it!! Now that made me feel so damn bad.  I wish Kylee would just block him..on everything and only unblock him when he has the kids. 
Now come on Garry, you are the one that has continually cheated, you are the one that manipulated and lied...you are the one that made the mistakes!! Yet in his tiny little mind he is twisting it around saying that Kylee is the one in the wrong because she denied him affection.
It is really getting to Kylee....and truth be told it is getting to us too. 
Thinking maybe she is going to have to get legal advise. 


Simon is also having relationship problems. He and his girlfriend have split.  Our troublesome one Shawn is the only one that is happy and carefree....and doing just great drug free and sober...proud of him. Just wish he would get a job and start making plans for his future....that is move on and leave home again!! Really he is no problem...BUT I want just us again. 

Anyways another week done on Keto. 

And I have nailed it....
Another loss on the scales this morning...(600grams) Wasn't sure what the "demons" would say this morning as last Friday I ate a small block of chocolate, and then Saturday night I had pizza. It gave me a headache the next day actually and it made it easy to climb back on board the Keto way of eating. It proved to me I can do this....I surprise myself every day I eat this way...I don't miss bread, or pasta, or rice or potato's and I really thought I would.
Long may I keep feeling like this. Before I started I was rapidly heading towards a number I never wanted to see again, I felt miserable and ate more because I was miserable. I hated myself and my body...Keto way of eating has saved me....and I thank the friend who talked me into it. Thanks Rach.

So how have I been going?

So, how have I been going? Truthfully, great!! I am so loving this Lazy Keto and it seems to be working for me....which I was real surprised about. I didn't think I could live without my carbs...I loved bread and ate it frequently, but up till this weekend I hadn't had any since I started Keto.
I started Keto on January 16th and as of February 16th I have lost nearly 6 kilo's. 
On Friday night I had a blow out and ate a small block of chocolate and Saturday night I had all the kids here and grandies and they wanted a pizza night...so we ordered in!! 
 It was such a lovely evening we all sat out on the lawn and indulged. I only had a 3 small slices and a taste of garlic bread but on Sunday morning I woke up feeling rather blah.  So its back on the wagon and back into doing what is working for me.  Slow and steady and lets see what happens.