Some good days, some bad days.....

It's been one of those weeks.....some real good days and some darn crappy ones. Been focused most of the week, then had a real bad day, soooo bad I walked out of work and was going home.....I had had enough of the rude ill mannered man that runs the carrot washing shed! That sent me off rails briefly...and yep I did the usual and went looking for food. Duhhhhhhhh ehhhh, after all my efforts NOT to use food to reward myself....and what do I do, get upset and use it to comfort myself!! But I did manage to get myself on track again, but only breifly. The weekend, welllllllllllll I am just glad to see that over with. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother very dearly, and we do get on well.....but she cannot understand the problems I have with my weight nor the thyroid condition I have either (how can a little gland cause you to get so fat??) She doesn't have a weight problem, never has, and nor does my sister and she never has either! Anyways I have had mum up staying for the weekend....phewwwwwwwwwww she has run me ragged. Mum is 79 but boy can she still shop!! Turn my back for a second and I would lose her, was so tempted to tie her on a leash. But I had to so bite my tonque when it come to meals/snacks....she couldn't understand why I couldn't/wouldn't eat foods. "Now that your're skinny Jen, you can eat that" "ohhhhhhh a little bit of those won't hurt you" "whats wrong with that, its good for you" " Your sister and I eat them all the time, look at us we don't put on weight"?? Get where I coming from??? ahhhhhhhh well, mum has gone home now.....and I can breathe a big sigh of relief and see if I can have a better week.....

Onwards and hopefully downwards....and NO QUITTING !!

Onwards and downwards yet again....

Why is it that after just about weigh in I go totally off the rails and reward myself with food. Food that I really don't want, and certainly do not need. It seems to be a compulsion and I am so over myself!! I have been doing this off and on all through my journey so honestly I really need a huge kick up the backside for allowing myself to keep doing this. I just have to stop this bad habit, heck it isn't doing myself any good, is it?? Rewarding myself with junk is a bad habit and it JUST has to go!!

This week, Wednesday the 26th actually, will be my 1st "at goal" anniversary....and although I am not going to be game enough to hop on the scales to see what I weigh, I think I should be in the 2 kilo range allowed. Since last Monday after weigh in I have gone off the rails totally and have virtually eaten as I pleased.....and because of my surgery I haven't been doing any walking, only done a few sessions of pilates. Adds up to "oink oink" methinks.

After talking about this to a few friends I have decided with their advise that I cannot let this keep happening otherwise I am going to end up right back where I started....so have resolved to try and conquer this "food reward" demon and get myself back on track. So it is once again back to basics and the journal is out and its going to be tracking until I reach my personal goal of 65 kilo's. Tomorrow is another new start and I will be beginning my walking again, slowly of course as I build my strength up till I am back to where I was before my surgery. Then when I reach my personal goal I will reward myself with ... I am not sure yet!! Not food thats for sure.....any ideas welcome please??

Hopefully I can conquer this ....I am going to give it my best shot, know occassionaly I am going to falter, but do know one thing....I WILL NOT QUIT!!

Happy Easter ..... hope it has been a happy and safe one for you all.

Resting and recovering

I am resting up and recovering well. Not in any pain at all now.....and enjoying time off from the "funny farm"! Have read that many books, and spent lots of time on the computer playing games and surfing the net...but I have really enjoyed doing NOTHING !! Sure makes a change for me.

Last night I did go to my weight watchers meeting as I haven't weighed in this month, and next Monday is Easter Monday so there would be no meeting, so gritted me teeth and hopped on the scales and low and behold despite the travelling and wedding indulgences and the surgery I weighed 69 kilo's....only up 100 grams from Feb 25th weigh in. Wowwwww I sure was happy with that !!!!!

Tuesday mornings I usually walk with a friend...but as I haven't excersised any since surgery thought instead of a walk we thought we would do a pilates dvd just to ease me back into the excersise again. That went well....will be doing that most mornings now till I feel ready to get into the walking/jogging routine again. At 6am when I do walk its that darn dark anyways.....darn daylight saving I hate it....why the Western Australian government didn't listen to us I don't know, we have voted NO to it 3 times, and yet still end up with it whether we wanted it or not!!

ahhhhh well.....I now off to have some breakkie, drink another coffee, and I guess read another book!!

Today....

......I came home from hospital after my surgery on Wednesday....when I eventually did get into surgery....meant to have been 1st on the list for the afternoon but didn't end up in there till after 3pm......ohhhhhh I was sooooooo killing for a coffee by then !!!!! Reminder...had nothing to eat or drink since before bedtime Tuesday evening....

Yes, all seems to have gone well even thou we did have a few minor complications.....like the needle for the anaesthetic wouldn't go into the first vein they tried as it had scar tissue, and then during surgery the bladder had a bleed....after surgery I had very low blood pressure (low is normal for me...but this was veryyyy low) and because I had to fast so long I did become very dehydrated!! Won't go into it all coz the list does go on ..... but I will tell you it BLOODY HURT, I was in pain !!!!

The nursing staff was absolutely great, really caring and so helpful...and my fellow "inmate" and I got on like a house on fire, going to try and stay in touch if we can...

But as I said I am home and doing nothing, am still in a little pain.....just up out of bed to eat lunch and read a few emails while drinking my coffee.....then I off to bed again......coz you DON'T get any sleep in hospital......

Yesterday....

I took a "sickie" and went to Mandurah and met up with a dear online friend of mine. We met way, way back on the old ww boards and of course kept in touch via our blogs too!! Rae and her hubby and little 5 month old bub flew in from Canberra for her mum's 50th birthday last week..and of course got caught up with all the festivities of catching up with family and friends, visiting Perth sights so when she let me know she was over in WA and wanted to know if I wanted to catch up...it was like wowwwwwwwwww, what a question, of course I would !!!! With all the time I have had off, and going to have off with the coming op....decided to have a "sickie" and head off to met Rae at nearly half-way for us both..

And it was wonderful meeting....... felt as thou I already knew her. Rae might be about the same age as my daughter, but it was a really special meeting as we seemed to make a "connection" when we met online. Rae, and her devoted hubby and absolutely gorgeous son Xavier really made my day..... They are a very special couple whose love for each other and their son shines out of them....and to let me share a few hours with them just made my day.

So Rae, Duane and Xavier....THANK YOU for thinking of me, taking the time to travel to meet me....and the enjoyable few hours we had catching up....

"oink oink"

What a week I have had.....mmmmmm it really hasn't been good foodwise at all. After weigh in last week, I was delighted with my progress, had a takeaway meal and a few small indulgences...then next day was back on the wagon. That lasted till the Thursday!! We, hubby and I, were heading off to Geraldton (a 6 hour drive up the coast) on the Friday, for a wedding on Saturday morning so thought...ahhhhhhh what the heck.....I won't count points till I get back....so with that.....I continued eating.......ahhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!

Was I happy???

Nahhhhhhh, not really !!

Thou I enjoyed the indulgences....it did not make me feel real good, I suffered from bloating and flatulence.

I had a fantastic time at the wedding....thoroughly enjoyed dressing up, and catching up with our friends.

Now I am home......I am now back on track, the journal is out and I am writing EVERYTHING down again. Need to do some excersise, haven't walked for a few days.....so will try this evening to do that. So now hopefully I will be okay till my next weigh in in 2 or 3 weeks time. Have my op nex week, hope that doesn't throw me out of skelter!!!

I'm getting there....

With tracking, tracking and more tracking I am getting there. My journal has become my best friend these past few weeks and the scales are showing it at LONG LAST !!! I went to ww meeting tonight and yayyyyyyy my hard work is paying off......I lost 1.5 and am now 68.9, only .9 off my goal weight. Treating myself to a takeaway meal tonight......and a few little naughties.....but tomorrow is already planned and I WILL be back on track. We are off for the long weekend and will be travelling up north to a good friends wedding, so I guess a few more naughties to indulge in ... like maybe a few drinkies!!!

I bought the ww new food scales tonight, they were on special and being a lifetime member they were reduced again! Are very much needed here.....my old ones have gone kaput and the ones I am using are not that reliable.....

Some more news is.....after the kids left home I took on their little car, a old Nissan Pulsar..... Poor little thing, Tweety it is called, had a bit of a hammering between them as you can imagine, what with them both learning to drive in it, and all the "bog laps" !! It was made way back in the early 80's....so was very old and it was showing too. A few months ago, the middle son borrowed her and on the way to his work one day...blew the motor up, so poor thing has been sitting in hubby's shed...waiting, waiting, waiting!!!! But awhile ago hubby and I decided not to rebuild her.....to scrap her and buy another car. My BA Ford, which is my pride and joy, I have been using to travel to work.....and unfortunately the farm has been wrecking it....what with inconsiderate people banging cars doors into it and marking it, the chemicals, the dust and dirt it has started to look very much used!! So on the weekend hubby and I went shopping and come home a few thousand dollars poorer but with this little gem.....small, compact, cheap to run ......Ford Festiva.

Other news is troublesome son is having some treatment.....going to see a DR and is making changes in his life..... How good is that, he can't bear to lose Hannah and his little girls?? Don't think he is ready to rehabilitate and stop the drugs just yet, but has cut down and making a lot of other choices that are going to benefit him and his little family. Other good news is that ...... after being on the waiting list for 4 years he has finally got a Homeswest home in the location he requested too.....and will be able to move in there in about 3 weeks.....is he over the moon or what??? He will now be a bit closer to us and Hannah's family as well....closer to his Dr and in a better posistion to find work. Hopefully this means I can stop stressing just that little bit .......

Happy Birthday to me and .......

........and my little "manny" Sheymus who turns the big 3 tomorrow. I have had a good day...had to work, but heyyyyyy I got spoilt by workmates and tonight by family. From my daughter over in Melbourne.....I am going to receive a return airfare to Melbourne in June so I can go to see the Hawthorn v Eagles game on a Friday night at the MCG. I am so excited, not only will I get to see my daughter again but to see the Eagles play is like wowwwwwwwww!!!!! My daughters partner and family are lifetime members of Hawthorn...even my daughter has become a member of the club. Trying to get to an Eagles game even here is like soooooo hard, so heyyyyyyyyyy to see them at the MCG is like so AWESOME!!!! And the other kids have spoilt me rotten too with some very thoughtful and much wanted gifts. And a big thank you to some very wonderful friends for their beautful gifts and all messages tooo.....loves ya all.

Tracking is going well.....weigh in next Monday evening....am on track for a good loss hopefully !!!
All else is going well......troublesome son has had a big warning from authorities and been told to pull his big head in or else he will lose his family...... Seems to have done the trick.....he is trying to keep it together, so hopefully things might change for the better there. Can only hope so, as more than anything he does love his little girls and it shows. He also saw yesterday an ultasound of his and Hannah's next child which much to their surprise is due in May.......a lot sooner than they thought. But I had to say .."I told you so", knew she was further along than they thought!!! Ohhhhhhh its a little boy........

Give me strength.....

A friend of mine has been playing around with her computer and a pic of mine and she "morphed" me......I look good ehhhhhhh?? Actually its sorta how I feel at the moment.....my dreaded visitors are back again. I had them after that very invasive tests I had to undergo....and thought great!!! But now I have them again....just 3 weeks later. Ironic isn't it?? Get the appointment to see the specialist and wowwwww they stop for all those months while I wait for the appointment, see the man, have the tests and get told I don't need hysterectomy and hullooooooooo welcome back !!!! Ring to get another appointment and yeahhhhhh right....can't get in to see him till after op day. Nurse says don't worry only menopause....things will settle eventually. Sheeeeeeeeeeezzzzz can see she not having any problems in this area ehhhhh?? Anyways hopefully I can get to have a few words before the op.....if I not tooo out to it!!

It has been so hot, humid and windy and althou I don't mind the heat...the humidity is killing me.......most probaly because I have been doing a lot of work outside in the heat.....

Have got another week of it yet......give me strength to get throu it.....and pray that I not outside working in it this week.....

No weigh in.....don't weigh till the 25th and it should be a good one if I can have another few weeks like this one....have I been good, nahhhhhhh I been DARN good !!!!!

About time....

I had some luck in losing a few of these holiday kilo's I gained last year and somehow couldn't budge!! Anyways since my last weigh in nearly 3 weeks ago I have been watching all portion sizes, weighing everything, and everything that has entered my mouth has been recorded.......and WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO I lost 1.7 kilo's and at long last have moved off of 72.1 and am now 70.4......I am happy!!!

Have had a bit of a treat myself night tonight.....but tomorrow it will be back to watching everything again till I get back to my goal of 68.0 again.

In other news troubled son visited on Sunday, he is still with Hannah and they are battling on. Still don't which way it is going to go.....but told him if he didn't wake up to himself, stop being so selfish and realise life is not all about "him" thats all he will have in his life....himself, coz no-one else wil be able to tolerate him and his moods. So hopefully.....who knows....

Today was the first day back at school for school kids here....and I had 2 grandaughter start their 1 st year of schooling....will ring later in the week to see how Jessica and Caity went and what they have been learning. Also Zoe would have started pre-school and Skye kindy. Wow, my little girls are all growing up.......

I despair....

about my troubled son. Things are just not getting any better, actually getting a lot worse I think. Last night Hannah had to take another 24 hour restraining order against him, this is the second one now, last one was just before Christmas, as his anger is starting to take over and domestic voilence is starting to become an issue. Hannah is now at least half way throu her pregnancy...know one knows for sure how far she is, not even herself as it was an accident and totally unplanned and she hasn't been to a Dr yet!! Says she is too scared, really I can understand that with Jaydene just 12 month old and Shawn the way he is!! Its about now he is allowed back into his house and Hannah is going to tell him no more chances, either get some sort of help or get out and leave her and the girls alone, she can't cope with him this way any more. I support her fully there, how she has coped up till now I have no idea. Shawn has in the last year been getting slowly getting worse. But what way is he going to go with that ultimatium? Are things going to get better or worse? Is he going to try and get some help of some sort, any sort? My stomache is all churned up, I just can't stop all the thoughts in my head with all the what ifs, hows and wonderings....I am scared stiff about what is going to become of him. My husband can't understand how I really feel, not that he doesn't care, butI just feel so hopeless as thou I haven't done enough, scared that he is going to harm himself or someone else.......

Sorry....just had to try and get some of this outta my head....

Day off....

......from the farm, its finally slowing down out there, soooooo was able to have a catch up with my friend Rach and have a cuddle of baby Jasmin. Been awhile since Rach and I have able to have a catch up and have a natter....was great. Thanks Rach for taking the time out for a catch up....with a bub and a 6 year old thats on school hols that it isn't easy to find I know.

I then treated myself to lunch out....chinese chilli prawns....don't know the point value, couldn't find it, but no matter, they eaten now and enjoyed and have recorded 8 points for the pleasure.....guess they could be more but.....

Tracking is going well, weighing all food that I unsure of and excersising most days, thou gave myself a rest day today, the first one in ages. Am still doing my interval training, walking 3 minutes, jogging 1 minute is what I am doing till I get too tired, thou every day I am getting further and further before I have to stop the jogging and just walk. My next weigh in day is not January 28th....thats a public holiday here, so will weigh in now February 4th.....hopefully by then the demon scales will be very kind to me and move off this 72.1!!

Next on the adgenda was new tyres for the car....then more pleasure......visited eldest sons and played with the grandies Caity and Ashlee. Swam in the pool...the day has been hot and humid, no bathers and no way would Tanya's fit me, she non-pregnant is tall and skinny and soaking wet is 58 kilo's, so stripped down to knickers and bra....and had a ball. Kids loved the "jelly belly"...... thought it was funnier than mum's pregnant one.....lol Of course kids had to show off their bellies and their scars....Ashlee is healing well after her burn scare and Caity's appendix scar is starting to fade.....

Drs visit

Went to the specialist on Thursday but before I saw him had to go to a clinic and have a few other tests that involved having cathedars being put in to check out the strength of my bladder and muscles involved in that department. Not very pleasant couple of hours I can assure you. Then it was on to specialist, some ultra sounds , some more pokes and prods....and the end result is, I do not need a hysterectomy but I am having a operation on the 12th March to repair prolapse, having my bladder stretched (apparently it doesn't release as it should) and a few other 'scopies done as well.

Just glad all the tests were done, it wasn't a very pleasant day, it was all very invasive and my stomache cramped most of Thursday night requiring me to have a ultrasound on Friday morning to make sure no damage had been done by cathedars. If boss hadn't of rang up Thursday evening to say I wasn't required to work Friday he would have received a phone call Friday morning to say I was unable to work.....

All paper work has now been filled in, I am booked in and waiting.

Been a very quiet weekend, no kids, no grandies, just me and hubby. Just been pottering around, reading, playing pc and just doing nothing.....

No weigh in this week, going in next Monday the 28th. Have had a great week, started my new journal up and have tracked everything that has gone into my mouth, stuck 100% to my points and even calculated and weighed anything I was unsure of. Excersise has been terrific, have done more interval training, trying to jog more with my walking and changing my walk routes so I have more variety.....so next weigh hopefully will show a loss !!

Happy Birthday to......

It's been a week or so of birthdays.

Jan 1st we had Micheal, my boss, he was moaning and groaning about getting old and turning 40......so surprized him before I left work on new years eve with a parcel containing dark hair dye to cover all the grey hairs, some magnifing glasses so he can see better and a walking stick for those poor old bones of his !! hehehe .....he opened the parcel there and then and laughed his head off.....

Next came on the 6th was my dear little sis, quickly followed by littlest grandaughter who turned the big 1 year old

On the 10th Simon #2 son had his day, he shared that day with a very special friend of mine, and then on the 11th our eldest son celebrated, the 12th my workmate and friend Zoe, her husband yesterday, and tomorrow my eldest grandaughter Jessica has her 6th birthday. I now get a break till later on in the month when another good friend celebrates.

On Thursday its back to the specialist to get test results from last fortnight and have another series of tests, pokings and proddings......hopefully its not going to be too painful. ohhhh Anne glad your endiometrial ablation worked for you, I had one of those nearly 4 years ago and as you can gather it didn't work. Had a prolapse done then too.....and thats why specialist is running these tests on Thursday in the hope that this new surgery will work for me and give me better results.

And now my weight.....weighed in last night...and again I AM THE SAME!!!! mmmm was not happy, I have been the same since November 26th. I lost the plot last night and had a mega "pigout"....... which believe it or not, it DID make me feel better. But this morning I got out my new journal and I am now writing down everything that enters my mouth. I have my ww point calculator handy and checking all the point values of all my foods.....and on the weekend I will buy a new set of food scales. I have a ww scale which I dragged back out but it won't work, for some reason it has gone "kaput" I know I am only just over 4 kilo's over my goal weight, BUT I do not feel comfortable where I am, I worked too hard to let all my dreams of goal weight disappear.....YEP, I want my goal weight back and I gonna do it again......eventually, but I will !!

Finished work....

.....at lunchtime yesterday as at long long last it was the day of my appointment with the gyneao.... Was lovely getting out of work early as the heat was stifling, we had another one of those HOT days....phewwwwww!! Was worse in town at the Drs...just walking from the car to the surgery and I was dripping wet!

Anyways saw the man and after being questioned, jabbed, poked and prodded, examined and questioned some more Dr seems to think I won't need a hysterectomy. Seems all the trouble I had been having with the heavy and continuous bleeding was my swansong, as since then there has been no more. Still have a lot of menopausal symptoms but with my medications I can live with those. But yayyyyyy looks as thou those monthly's have gone forever now!! Prolapses will still need surgery, but firstly have to go back to Dr in 2 weeks to get results from yesterday and he wants to do some more tests. They apparently have a new surgical procedure which is less evasive, with less pain and less time recovering and he'll see then if I will be a canditate for that.

Will see what the next visit brings.

The weekend again...nothing really planned. Have troublesome son visiting, hopefully not in one of his grumpy moods......he shouldn't be as his little girl Jaydene will be celebrating her first birthday on Monday and I asked them to come around this weekend and pick up her pressie.... Wowwwwwww where does time go, she has grown so quickly. Just from Christmas to New Year she found her feet well and truly and now she RUNS!!! Will take pics of course...hopefully I can get one of her big cheeky grins. This pic is of her on Christmas Day, where she would only walk if she had something to lean on.........ohhhhh isn't she just a cutie.....

Happy New Year

Well its 2008......

Last night I slept it in, boring ehhhhh? I had worked all day, was tired, upset and "over it" !! Hubby wasn't interested in going out even thou we had had invites.....so another night in for us.

I rang or messaged the kids and their families....hopefully they all have the greatest of years. All I ever wish for is happiness and contentment for all of them.

Troublesome son will never find it until he wakes up to himself and stops blaming everyone else for his troubles and realises it is him and only him! Rang him yesterday to wish him all the best and to start off he was fine, then I said the wrong thing, or something he didn't want to hear to be more truthful, and got abused for it. I hung up.

And that brings me to my New Year resolution. After a lot of thought....I have decided that I am not gonna stress out and worry myself sick about things I have no control over. Yep like Mr # 3 son and his little family and what he can do to himself and them....as you know I do that, wellllll no more! Welllllll, gonna try anyways.

So hopefully some of you popped the champagne, partied or danced to the wee small hours, threw the confetti and made new year resolutions....

May this year be a year of good luck, good health and most of all happiness to you all.

We sweltered.....

On Christmas Day and Boxing Day.......phewwwwwww it was hot!! Boxing Day in the city apparently recorded nearly 45 degree's and was the hottest Boxing Day on record in the world. Luckily we are 2 hours out of the city, live on a bush block with lots of trees and lawn around the house so thou it didn't reach nearly 45 it was in the 40's...... I was soooooo bloated from the amount of water I drank over the 2 days.....and from all the rubbish I managed to consume too....yep I am guilty of being a "piggy". Ahhhhh well, it was Christmas !!

Christmas Day began early when I awoke early and couldn't go back to sleep. Woke up hubby, got up, opened our pressies, had a coffee and headed up the hill to Collie to play Santa to #2 son and 4 grandies.... Ohhhhh the excitement....it was gorgeous watching their little faces. Left them with their mummy and daddy after a couple of hours with the mess and a swing set to erect ..... hehehe The troubled son and his little family were due to arrive for lunch....so on arrival home it was prepare for that. By then it was really heating up.....so was glad I had decided on seafood and salad......was yummo even if the prawns weren't as tasty as I was hoping they would be. Pity I didn't stop at the meal instead of all day (and the next as well) dipping my hand into the nibblies. Anyways son was well behaved, and in a reasonable mood so the meal was pleasant..... Excitement plus from the little grandies.....Jaydene is nearly one but just loved ripping into the pressies with a huge grin on her little face. Pop and I gave Skye a little lunch bag with water bottle and lunchbox which we had filled with some treats....as she starts kindy next year. Don't think that bag has left her sight since.

#3 son Paul took his family down south to spend with

his partners family......so they still have yet to come around to see what Santa has left here. Coming here this weekend as today Luke, Pauls son from a previous realationship arrives....so all of them will be together.

Missed my daughter something shocking on the day.....althou we did speak a couple of times on the phone. She sent me a lovely maxi dress...beautiful blue colour but the style has left me wondering whether it suited me or not. Hubby is not sure, so rang the store that Kylee bought it from and they said they have another dress, same colour but slightly different style so am going into the Bunbury store over here and see if they have the same....

Anyways...those 2 days flew by and it has been back to work for me the past 2 days....thankfully it hasn't been as hot. I have gotten myself back on track after being a little Christmas piggy....got up on the Thursday morning, removed all the nibblies and treats out of sight.....struggled into a pair of shorts, put on the walking shoes and walked for an hour before I went to work. Too scared to hop on the scales, clothes tell me I gained......BUT I will get back to my goal. No ww weigh in till sometime in January but I have received an invitation to a formal wedding of a close friends son on the 1st March.....so my goal is to be back at goal by then. I don't own a formal outfit so I want to be able to go and buy one and look and feel stunning.

I got home from work yesterday and found sitting on my doorstep this lovely parcel from my good friend Carol. Carol is a competition whizz....always entering them and winning too. This package she won and decided I could have it as I need pampering after all the hard work I do up in my "tin shed" on the market garden ...... THANKS HEAPS BUDDY

Where does time go.....

Another week has flown by.....so quickly too....where does the time go!!

Work has been so busy, but we were lucky this week I guess....we had a machinery break-down and had 2 half days off while they did repairs. Now we are playing catch up trying to get the orders made up and working twice as hard...and longer days.



During the week I went up the hill to bring troublesome son (Shawn) down. Since he had his accident we have had his vechile down here getting it repaired, new windscreen in, new tyres and just making it roadworthy again. Within minutes of him and his little family getting in the car...he started. Heck knows what I said to set him off, it doesn't take much at all believe me.....but boy he turned from normal to physcotic raving idiot in seconds....abusing me for no reason. I just didn't argue or try to placate him.....just pulled over and literally threw him out the car!! Speaking to Hannah (his partner) as I turned the car around and took them back home apparently he has been like this for a few weeks now...doesn't need any drugs or drink to set him off anymore, could be just something he hears on the radio or tv. Soooooo sad. What kind of parent does that make me, everytime I had spoken to him, he has been great, I didn't notice any difference in him, actually thought he was doing great, he always sounded so happy on the phone ...I must have been burying my head in the sand !! Anyways I dropped Hannah off and headed for home.....he stopped me as I went to drive past him as he trudged up the highway....he apologised profusely and asked me very politely to take him to my house to get his 4x4. Not one more word of abuse was uttered...he was normal again. He really wanted that vechile back and I think had realised if I drove past I wouldn't have returned.

He called in on Saturday too...and spent 3 or 4 hours here....and said he was trying to get his "moods" under control. He needs to do more than that, he needs help big time....and only him and HIM alone can do that, but he won't listen, you can not give him any advise, he doesn't WANT to listen, doesn't think his problem is as big as we tell him it is.... BUT he really does need to do something soon, he informed me and hubby that he and Hannah are to be parents again....their 3rd child. Heck, he can hardly look after himself.....I really despair, I really do, what is going to become of him !!!



On Saturday night we had our work chrissy party.....the boss took all the fulltime workers out to dinner at a real classy resturaunt....all food and drinks paid for....

mmmmmm I blew it and spoilt a super-dooper on track week and drank wayyyy too much red wine.....

Had last weigh in for the year tonight and it told on the scales......would you believe for the 4th week running I stayed the same!!!!!!

Bring on the New Year, methinks I gonna havta pull me socks up and get rid of this holiday excess....carried it around way too long now!!!

Merry Christmas to one and all just in case I don't post before then.....take care, be safe.

They say things happen.....

..... in three's !! yeahhhhh ..... well I wish someone told my family that !! Since October when I went to Melbourne it has been one thing after another....now to top it all off Caitlin, (the 5 year old big sister of Ashlee, the one that got burnt) went into hospital last night and had emergency surgery on a twisted appendix !! Anyways.....all went well although because the appendix was so twisted they couldn't do keyhole surgery and she now has a 2cm scar. She came home this afternoon and is recovering. We knew something was wrong with her as on Sunday Tanya bought out Luke (the big brother who was on a access visit) out to say hullo to us and Caity couldn't come.....she wasn't feeling the best in the tummy.....now we know why.

Went into ww last night to weigh in, just made the meeting as I worked late and the result....AGAIN, I stayed the same.....guess it's better than a gain. Next week is the last meeting till the New Year so I'll try and make that weigh in and next year I think I will have to revise my points and my menu and see if I can get this weight to shift downwards again.....

Here I am....

I'm Back !!!!! Darn computer died and I had to rush it off to the pc doctor and get it fixed!! In the meantime I sat at home and read books, listened to music or cooked.....while I waited for the phone call to say "it's ready" Got the phone call late yesterday and got hubby to pick it up for me today. A new power supply and yayyyyy it works!!

I didn't go to weigh in on Monday night, firstly I worked late and was so tired when I got home all I wanted to do was shower, eat and go to bed.....so thats what I did!! Am feeling a bit fragile at the moment and didn't want to hear what I already knew....I hadn't lost anything. I weighed in on my scales, and they are nearly spot on with ww and I had stayed the same.....so guess thats better than gaining ehhhh??

Well caught up on the blog...better get to and have a read and see what all you guys are up to......