Boxing Day

This is the remains of Shawn's car....the one he bought out of his 1st pay a fortnight ago. Christmas morning at 1.18am he rang me and asked if I could come and pick him up as his car was on fire. I flew out to where he was....and between police and fire brigade reports it was after 3 am when I got home again. Shawn lost almost everything, he and the friend with him did manage to grab a few things before flames engulfed the car....but lost his money, documents in the glove box, some chrissy pressies. Not 100% sure of the cause but fire brigade said it started in the wiring behind the dash and in front of the motor. He was not insured. Below is Ted and I at Paul and Tanya's where we went for christmas lunch.....was sooooooo yummy too. Prawns, turkey, ham, fish, and lots of salads and very tasty fresh bread, plus pavlova for dessert. We had a fantastic and very pleasant relaxing afternoon with Ted's mum, his brother, Simon & Tracey and the 7 grandies. Shawn didn't join us, too interested in drowning his sorrows in booze I think, but he did come out and join us for a couple of hours and caught up with his brothers, neices and nephews but didn't stay for lunch.

Below is our gorgeous little Zoe with her chrissy present from us, she loved her rock & roll guitar....all the grandies are growing up so quickly. I took heaps of pics of them during the course of the day.....have Luke, our eldest grandchild coming down to spend time with his Dad tomorrow, looking forward to that...we don't see him very much.

And by the end of the afternoon...this little man (Mathew) had had enough....he was tired, grumpy and pouty!!! When we left in the late arfternoon he was having a very overdue nap!

Now its Boxing Day....and I have once AGAIN got myself back on track. Today is day one. I weighed myself this morning and I have put on just over 4 kilo's since my last ww weigh in on the 7th of this month !!! I got so down/depressed for awhile there so its a wonder it wasn't more. So far today its been good, started with a 75 minute "jabberwalk" with my walking buddy with us doing the hardest walk we know, lots of steep hills.....and since then have stuck 100% on my daily plan. I have 12 weeks till Kylee's wedding and I soooooo want to be trim and terrific for that.

Here we go again .... today I am more determined than ever.

Merry Christmas

To each and everyone of you I want to say thank you very very much for being such a wonderful support to me .... you all have have the special gift of listening and answered me with your hearts....thank you.


So here's wishing you all the happy things this special holiday brings.

MERRY CHRISTMAS xxx

An early christmas

.....for Shawn and his kids.

It was a great visit, the kids, all 4....Skye, Jaydene, Shayden and Kaleb were dropped off just after 11am....and we were told we were on our own, NO supervision by a dcp carer...just us for a whole 5 hours....they weren't picked up till after 4 pm !!!

It was fantastic.....hubby and Shawn got on well, they talked and laughed together, it was good to see, I was so happy.

Tanya bought her 3 kids out for an hour or so so all the cousins could play together.....phewwwwwwwww 7 kids all wanting attention at the same time...it was bedlam for a while. Ted's mum came out too, she had not seen Kaleb since he had been born 8 months ago. Jaydene loved her great-nanna and spent a lot of time chatting away to her and getting her to unwrap her candy canes!!

Saturday night we went out to Ted's work wind up, but we didn't end up staying there. Got there after 6pm (it was held out at the go-kart club) but it was still hot and humid...and the flies were horrendous!! Food was meat cooked up on a spit, but with the amount of flies hanging around we were worried about eating and competing with them, all of it was being catered outdoors....nahhh wasn't my idea of a pleasant meal. sStopped and spoke to a couple of Ted's work mates, but all they wanted to do was talk work...so we just looked at one another and said home ehhhh....and went! We drove around Bunbury having a sight see...then came home and cooked a quick and easy dinner and had a few drinks and relaxed....

Today has been hot and humid too, haven't achieved much at all today. Finished off a little christmas shopping, caught up on a few phone calls.....then late this arvo my "jabberwalk" g/friend and her hubby came around and we sat out under the shade of our big red gum tree and had a few drinks and nibbles and exchanged chrissy gifts.

yeahhhhhhhh its been a great weekend.

Friday....

and yay I have the day off!!!


I certainly need it, the last 2 days I have felt like I have been on a roller coaster ride....


Wednesday was a funny ole day at work...but one where I was made aware as to how much I was needed there. The shed manager/fork lift driver "spat the dummy" and walked out and Micheal (my boss) had to run the shed. He barked orders out to me to run the staff, barked out the orders that had to be done, hopped on the forklift and left me to it.
At arvo smoko he called me into the office and him and his wife Penne (who works in the office) thanked me and told me how much they appreciated me and ALL the work I do there...not just what I did today.
THEN I got the phone call that turned my night into nightmares. The call was from the police to say they had Shawn in custody after being caught at Hannah's...thus breaking the vro. The police had received a phone call informing them that Shawn was there and on arriving there caught him as he was backing the car out of her driveway and was thus arrested. We knew the phone call could have come from only a handful of people as Shawn had only just bought the car a few days before. Hubby was very supportive when I arrived home and told him about the phone call and took me into the police station to get Shawn's car keys to get his car off the street and leave a packet of cigs for him as we were not allowed to see him till he appeared in court the following day. The police told me then to expect Shawn to be sent to jail for 7 months as that was the sentence for breaking the vro for the 2nd time! Thus the nightmares I had that night!!
Yesterday I took time off work and went to the court for his sentencing ... thankfully Shawn had legal aide representation and she has kept him out of jail...for the time being at least. He has to appear in court at the end of January. While in court we found out it was Hannah's family that reported Shawn being there, Hannah is livid !! Anyway Shawn will be hearing from this legal aide lawyer and she is going to work with him/on him and get some his "problems" addressed.
So yayyyy I am happy, its Friday I have a day off, I have had a bad week come good, I am starting to feel better within.....and believe me I am counting my blessings.

One day at a time...

is how I am doing things at the moment.....its all I can do. I am really lost. Each day is a struggle to get throu, my job doesn't help, it is soooooooo boring and mundane and gives me too much time to think and that isn't helping. I hate the job, but love the people I work for and the freedom the fulltime/casual posistion I have there. Sometimes I wish I had left when I was going to last year....but I still there. I not qualified for much more anyways. Other than the fulltime guys that operate the machinery all the workers there are backpackers, mainly Korean, so I spend most of my day on my lonesome...guys are always out in the field, and the backpackers have very limited english. I wonder if it worth going to see my Dr....maybe I suffering some sort of depression.

Hubby and I are are over out "spat" .... things have gone on as thou nothing has happened, I haven't mentioned Shawn and nor has he. Will see what happens on Saturday when we have Shawn and the kids here, that will be interesting.....as after that visit we are meant to be going out to Ted's work christmas do.

Diet....mmmmmmmmm what diet??? Food seems to be my comfort at the moment. Just can't get it together and keep it together....think I might just wait till the christmas season is over and see if I can sort myself out then......

Feeling

I am feeling a little better today, had a long walk with my "jabberwalk" friend Deb, and we really did jabber. I am still teary, still feeling as thou I am not good enough...but I guess I will get better. Saw Shawn today...more drama's , but hell why should I be surprised, it always is. The drama's concern Hannah more than Shawn....everything has caught up with her too and emotions are running amok.
I love my man, he is my world, is my everything...the only thing we have ever had trouble with in our nearly 30 years together is his stubborness....if he don't want to do something, he won't. If we argue, he's not the sort to say he is sorry, just carries on as thou nothing has happened, argument forgotten, sometimes will bring me home a wildflower or something he spotted that he knows will appeal to me.
All I want him to do is to support me with Shawn...just be there for me when I fail again, coz that will be happen often with Shawn. Don't care if he has nothing to do with him, just want him to be there for me, doesn't has to listen to me, doesn't have to say "I told you so" , just be there to give me a cuddle and be aware of how I feel.
I have regained all the weight I lost in the past few weeks, this week has been a total disaster.....but you know what I just don't care, just another failure to add to my collection. Will try and walk in the morning and regain my routine again, but if I feel as tired and washed out as I have been this past week I won't.

Just can't do it anymore...

Just because I love my son, and can't turn my back on him....my hubby and I are fighting. Ted is such a hard man when he has made up his mind. He says while he is the way he is he wants NOTHING at all to do with him, he doesn't want to see him, look at him, listen to him. When he comes out here on Sunday he will not hang around, he's going out, won't even stay to see the grandies. He hates me for letting Shawn coming out here, can't stand the fact that I let him. He would divorce me if I knew how much I helped that kid....but I can't give up on him, I just can't !!! After a yelling spat at each other this afternoon which left me in tears and him wandering off to garden.....he has this evening come in and talked as thou nothing happened. Hannah rang me in tears earlier...and when I told him what was going on there (a spat with Shawn) he just said they were as bad as one another.....which they are !!!
Got some good news from Hannah today thou.....Skye comes home for good on Friday...and the Kaleb early in the new year....how good is that. Ted says they will stuff it up thou....
Shawn bought a car the other day, a cheapie but it goes and looks "soso" but he is so proud of it....Teds says he'll do something to it before the new year, prang it/trash it, drive it drunk ...honestly he just can't give the kid a little leeway, the same with his job...he recons he won't keep that! I know Shawn has hurt him, really hurt him but how can he just shut him out like that. How can he expect me to do the same.....
I have hit rock bottom....today has just put the icing on it..... I feel I am useless, a worthless mother, I hate me at the moment.....just want to curl up in a ball with my packet of choccie bikkies and cry some more.......

And again....

Have had another great week....thou been very tired, think I need a ""pick me up" !!! Menopause and those DRATTED hot flushes don't help.

Excersise has been really good...and I did manage to do my sit ups 4 out of the 7 days this last week. And I did do quite well at the bbq on Saturday night....I could have gone way overboard but I didn't! No drinks for me...I had to drive home, very early morning by the time we arrived home it was too.

I weighed in last night....100 gone grams !!! Then stooooooopid me had to go and have a mega "pig out" !!! Now I will have to work bloody hard to lose what I ate and drank to at least stay the same at next weeks weigh in ..... grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Had one of those yuk nights last night and slept in this morning so no walk .....

Heading out....

A beautiful day here today....lovely and hot, love it !!!

Been down to Busselton this morning, took Shawn and a friend of his and her 2 kids down for his access visit with his kids.....phewwwwww what a mess that was getting there!! They had a Ironman comp on there and traffic was diverted everywhere, little detours here and there, cars darting this way and that, people walking across roads watching the competitors and not their kids or where they were going....and me with NO navigation skills at all was totally lost !!! Luckily Shawn is like his Dad, only has to go to a place once and he can find his way there again.....so he got us out of the mess and found the re-scheduled venue. We were planning on the beach for the visit but thanks to the Ironman comp that was closed.

Now I am getting ready to head off down to Nannup....we have a surprise 60th birthday party to go too...looking forward to that, these people have been friends of Ted's since he was a teenager....top people and good company. Here's hoping I can keep myself on track tonight..its a bbq so I should ehhh. I am skipper and driving home seeing as I don't drink much so have packed plenty of diet coke.

mmmmmmm best head of and see if my denim skirt fits, looking at that pic of me with Skye I am beginning to wonder.....

Monday evening...

....and that means weigh in night. The scales were good to me, another 500 grams gone, and so it should be, I have worked hard this week to lose it. Unfortunately it is coming off slowly, but it I suppose to be expected seeing as my body has settled on and around this weight for the last few months. Darn weight is so easy to put on but so hard to get rid of !! It has settled on my stomach (see pic hubby took on Saturday in my rose garden) and thats where it usually does sit giving me those muffin tops!! My mission this week is sit-ups every night before bed.





Shawn is still working .... yayyyy!!!! He quite likes the job and the people he is working with so thats a bonus. His moods have been a lot better too....thou he still has had his moments!



I am taking him down to Busselton on Saturday morning to see his kids. Hopefully they will have them at the park on time for a change as hubby and I have a surprise 60th to go too that evening and have a couple of hours drive to get there....so it'd be nice to get back here in time to have a relax before hitting the road again.

Been doing a bit of organising for dear daughters wedding, have a friend of a friend that has agreed to do all the flowers, bouquets for us...things are all going along smoothly so far.....but guess as it gets closer I'll hit the panic button. March is going to be here before we know it !!

Sometimes......

Birthday cake time....... The birthday girl.....

....sometimes I wonder about that troublesome son of mine. Today we had a meeting with DCP regarding the care of his kids, was good they organised the meeting and let us have some input.....but geeeeee the couple I had today were very uncompassionate, I found them very unfeeling. I thought after they told Shawn there was no way he'd ever get custody of his kids while he was still using/boozing that he would lose it, he usually does when we say things like that!! Thats a reason too there is a bit of tension between me and hubby (Ted), he won't have anything to do with him anymore and doesn't think I should be there for him as much as I am. Anyways Shawn took what they said well....and here's hoping he'll start thinking about those kids more than he does about himself.....he really is a selfish man! Actually he was quite good company today. I had the day off work for the DCP meeting...plus catching up on some much needed errands.

Weigh in tonight.....lost 500grams....at long last the scales are going down, slowly !! I have had a great week again....lots of walking, planning and tracking so hopefully another good week coming up.

Saturday I took Shawn down to Busselton for his access visit....a lovely couple of hours and it was great that we were there to help celebrate Skye's 6th birthday.

Some good news....

yayyyyy some good news, for a change regarding Shawn.

He rang me today to say he might have a job.....was going for a interview/induction this evening....then he rang this evening to say he had the job !!!

He starts work tomorrow at 6pm and works till 2am....NOW lets hope he stops using that dreaded weed AND keeps this job.

What a relief this job will be, hopefully it will keep him away from his "mates" ..... now he needs to find himself somewhere to live.

Beginning of my challenge...

Have a day off today.....so going to go looking for a pair of jeans just like those I am wearing above...loved those jeans, they made me feel good. I want to feel as good now as I did then....I working on it !!!
I weighed in last night and I was 2oograms up on what I weighed in at 2 weeks ago...but then I lost the plot for a week and although I have had a really great week this week obviously it wasn't enough. A little disappointing but heyyyyy I can deal with it. A good blogger friend is dealing with a hell of a lot more and my heart aches for you A
Not much else is happening in my little world....Shawn is still a pain in the backside. Took him down to Busselton on Saturday for his his access visit with his kids....they had a ball with him. Next weekend we are off down there again as Skye, his eldest, has her birthday and will be turning 6.
Been for a long walk this morning and hoping for another great week.

Again.....

I must get myself back on track and stay there..... Above is me now.....with Tracey (Simon's other half) and her mother, this was taken on Saturday afternoon.....

And above is me when I first started ww and me just before I achieved goal....my goal weight is 68 kilo's.

Meant to have gone to weigh in tonight but just too embarrassed to go....I know that I have gained big time.....stoooopid me!!!
Anyways on my sidebar I have put in week 1 to week 6 which will take me from next Monday weigh in, which I will go too, till the Monday before Christmas, and I will record all my weigh in's on there. I will stay on track...and even if I don't I WILL go to weigh in. I need to stop this yoyo' ing and stop blaming everything/anything for me over-eating and just do what has to be done!! I started again this morning and yes I have done well.....so onwards and downwards YET again.....

Drat it ....

...... I have lost the plot !!

No excuse really, had a fair bit of pain in my legs, not sure why....think its because its been a long fortnight of work (over 90 hours) with crap carrots to grade so a lot of standing but anyways have gone overboard with the eating and drinking....and no matter how much I try I just can't seem to stop myself, I just wander off track...grrrrrrr!! My friend recons I am not eating enough during the day as its usually at the end of the day I go looking....mmmmm something to think about.

Had a bbq up at son Simons house today, had a glorious time with the grandies, ate wayyyyyy too much and now sitting here catching my breathe before heading out to a 50th birthday party.

Tomorrow catching up with Shawn and doing my shopping......so Monday its hopefully back on track day AGAIN!!!

Another good week

Have had a great week...no real drama's.

Even managed to get into the hairdresser on Thursday evening and be pampered, had my hair coloured (foils) and have it trimmed. Hubby asked me if I wouldn't get it cut so short,,,,he likes it longer, so I did ask Erin to just trim it for me and I quite liked the result.

Had a phone call on Friday saying the headstone I had organised for my Dad had been erected, so on Saturday morning I went doen to Manjimup, gathered up my brother and sister and went and had a look. Quite a few tears were shed I can tell you, tears of relief, tears of sadness and tears of happiness too. Dad passed away in October 2001 but for many reasons we were unable to get a headstone up till now. My brother and sister told me what they wanted and what they didn't want and then left it all up to me to organise......so what a relief it looked as good as I hoped.

Shawn has been quite good this week, no major drama's. he had a hospital emergency visit, a sore the side of his knee became infected and his leg swelled up to 3 times it size, it was so red and hot and looked gross!!! Antibiotics seem to be healing it.

Weigh in tonight.....down 300 grams...thought it would be more, but what the heck, I'll take the 300, its onwards and downwards ehhhh?

All good...

Am clapping my hands.....all's good. I stayed on track all week and was rewarded at weigh in with a 1.3 kilo loss.....yay!! And I only rewarded myself with 2 yummy wines, a Apricot wine, I bought at the local show on Saturday. So here's hoping I have another good week this week....I want this weight gone now !!

Grandies visit

On Saturday I picked up Shawn and travelled down to Busselton for an access visit with his kids....his first since the vro was issued, so he hadn't seen his kids for 2 weeks. And me, I hadn't seen them since the beginning of July, and boy haven't they grown heaps, espesially baby Kaleb. It was a marvellous couple of hours, the kids were so happy to see their Daddy, the love they have for him shows soooooo much. And he loves them too.....but still he continues to use that dreaded 'weed' !! One day maybe he will wake up to how much he is missing out on.

The few hours with them went by too quickly, but we fitted so much in with them and had the bestest time. Lots of tears from us all when it was time to say goodbye. Shawn should have another visit this weekend.

Weigh in was last night, I climbed on the scales knowing I had a real great week only to be told you GAINED!! Was not very happy!!! It was only a 100 grams but !!!! Came home and had 3 or 4 stiff drinks and drowned my sorrow.....something I don't do very often......

........and yeahhhh this morning woke up with a headache and got myself back on track.

Had a great week....

.....but at weigh in only lost 400grams, am quite disappointed, thought it would have been more. Ahhhhhhh well, at least it was down.

Had 2 of the grandies here on Saturday, the girls stayed overnight. Sunday morning they were up early...very early, 6.10am to be precise!! Me and my big mouth .... told them we would walk down to the park straight after breakkie. They thought the earlier they got up the earlier they could go down the park.....mmmmmmmmm

Shawn is still the same, no change. I wonder how I can love him so much yet hate him just as much, he has thrown so much away with the lifestyle he choses to live. Wish he could see what he is doing to himself, but with the physcosis the drug usage has given him he just can't. Wish he could remember how his life did change when he rehabilated, but he won't !! His birthday is this week, turns 27 on Thursday.

Picture is of him with my mum when mum was up on one of her weekend visits.

Weighed in

I did go to weigh in last night...mmmmm was not good, and it won't be good if I keep on pigging out like I did after I ate my lovely weight watchers meal last night. I had a craving for fresh bread rolls and yeahhhh I gave in to it and ate 4 of them !!! But I pointed them....and today is another new day.
I walked this morning, only 20 minutes as I had a headache....punishment for too much bread!! I don't normally eat white bread.

Now lets see if I can improve.....

The good and the bad....

I have been travelling along quite well, walking most days, eating within my points most days and been very proud of myself.....yay back on track !! Thou much to my utter disgust my scales don't tell me that. I hopped on them and they went UP ..... grrrrrrr bloody scales, they ended up out the front door and in the garden !!! BUT I did calm down and kept myself from being a little "oink" and have been staying good. And thats despite all the shit that been happening!!

Yep...Shawn again....#1 in the happening department he is, proper little shit he is too. Hannah has issued another vro on him, which was served on him today...not because he has been violent but because of his moods/aggression, its not getting any better. She wants the kids back and with Shawn being the way he is and them being together they are not likely to. I don't blame her for doing it, she has no choice I don't think, those kids need to be back at home together. The courts have also ordered Shawn to halve his cannabis usage in the next 3 months or lose visitation rights to his kids. They will monitor that by weekly urine samples. So he is out on the streets again getting into heck knows what! He got his tax check back the other day and rang me today and asked me if I would grab some of the money off him before he did something stupid with it. But geeeeeeeee had mum with me today (when we went and got some $$'s off him) and she saw first hand how "moody" he has become.....his mood swings from good to downright rude in just seconds. You have to watch everything you say, say the wrong word and he just explodes, very frightening for mum to see when just minutes before he was cuddling with her and having a joke. Mum idolises Shawn but hadn't believed me that Shawn was as bad as I had been telling her. When she was up a few weeks ago she noticed he was "stressed" but has realised now its a lot more than that. We pleaded with him today to go to the hospital and get some help.
Mum is up staying with me for the weekend as her neighbours are having a big birthday bash, very noisy they warned her so I had my brother drop her off on his way throu to Perth. Mum, at 80, doesn't need her days and nights disturbed by drunken louts.

Ted's mum gave us a scare the other day too....she got a splinter in her hand and even thou it got sore and infected she didn't let us or any of the other family know till she saw the Dr on Tuesday arvo. Tuesday night she had surgery to get it out. Ted's mum is 84 and surgery at that age is pretty scary. Thankfully she was ok, they got the splinter out, pumped her with antibotics and kept her in hospital till Friday and she is now home recovering well.

Well its a matter of wait and see what happens now, I think with Shawn its going to be bad, very bad, I just have a real bad feeling about it. I hope and pray I am wrong and that he proves me wrong by changing.

Monday is weigh in day again....so I am trying my darn hardest to keep the halo on !

Will I ever learn....

grrrrrrrr I am so over myself, will I ever learn !!!

Food is there to eat when you need fuel and or hungry...NOT to eat and try to make me feel better. WHY do I do it!!!!!

And WHY is it always the wrong food, the sweet, fatty, sugary ones????

ahhhh wellllll here we go again....

Had a good week

It has been a long wet week....but I have managed to excersise 5 days out of the week, and managed a loss of 500 grams. Am happy that I have managed to stay on track, it hasn't been easy, this colder weather makes a person want to eat.

Had my brother drop mum off here for the weekend as he travelled throu on up to the city. So had a good couple of days with her. She still as active as ever but is slowly starting to show her age and tires a heck of a lot quicker than she used too. Took her in to see Shawn and Hannah, they were as broke as so went shopping for them and stocked up their pantry. Things are the same with them, still no progress with getting the kids back and as yet I still haven't heard when/if me and hubby can have an access visit with them. Shawn is still as moody as ever and mum noticed too on Saturday that he is very nervous/stressed and we think he is heading for a breakdown. Sunday had a phone call from him, he and Hannah were bickering again.....so think that breakdown is coming sooner rather than later. That scares me....

Day 1.....again.....

These pics are from our holiday...this is the Kings Canyons and would have to be my favourite part of the trip. Me and Tina did the 3 hour walk up, over, throu and down the canyon.....and loved every minute of it. Wowwwwww we just climbed that!!

But heyyyyyy it was so worth it....lookk at that !!

And this !!

Just look at these rocks....

Tina and I up on the highest point of the Canyon, quite proud of our efforts to get this far.

This picture shows where we got to climb over and throu...but if the sights we see are what we have already seen it will be well worth it.

Loved this cliff face...just look at the colours, they were fantastic, sometimes a camera just doesn't do justice.

Clamber up and over these rocks, around the corner and its the down hill run....only a few more k's to go.

The path on the way down....and boy we were glad we did the 3 hour walk....it was fantastic, worth every minute of it.

Today was the day I finally got my head around this menopause crap again. I woke up this morning after having one of the best nights sleep I have had in a while, so decided there and then it was the day to get my backside into gear AGAIN and start trying to get myself back on track. With that I dressed, put on my joggers and went for an hours walk, came back and had a filling breakfast...and yayyyy I have managed to stay on track all day.

Stay away hot flushes....I feel good about myself again and ready to deal with the ongoing battle I have been having with these extra kilo's I have gained.

Maybe if these hot flushes persist I might go back to my Dr and see if I can go back on HRT again. Was on them for over 2 years but went off them as they just weren't giving me any relief from the flushes, the itches and the persistent bleeding.

mmmm here we go again....

Me with little Mathew on Father's day.......

Well here I am again....computer has been fixed, it did need a new hard drive so yep I have lost everything. I asked for the broken one but was told it had been tossed....NOT happy about that and yes I did let them know!!!

Having a terrible time with hot flushes, aches and pains and emotional eating. It seems to be a never ending cycle with me of late, go well for a couple of weeks, lose a couple of kilo's and start to feel good about myself again and then WHAMMO.....will I ever get to feel good about me again?

Have had some visitors staying with us, Kaye has been throu menopause so knew what I was going throu thankfully as I am afraid I wasn't 100% for their stay. But we did have a great time. Sadly they had to leave early and make their way quickly back to home (in QLD) as Kay's mum health is declining...and of course Kay needs to be with her.

Hopefully I can get myself back on track as soon as possible and get these few kilo's off again....coz it is really getting me down.

Am here....

Just.....
My new p/c which is just 6 months old has died....apparently the hard drive has gone in it. I am NOT happy.....all my photo's have gone !! All my babies pics....gone. Have some of them on disc, but not many.....I hadn't learnt how to do any back ups.....ohhhhhhhhhhhh why didn't I learn?
Anyways maybe when I get the p/c back it might not be as bad as I was told.

Received a letter from Shawn, and a phone call too....he seems okay, very worried about his eldest child...apparently she was told her Daddy is not going to be her daddy anymore. Shawn has of course filed a complaint....but sheeeeeeeeez how cruel is this department??

Weigh in was MOnday, lost another kilo....going down but still a long way to go.

Bugger !!

Have for some reason been eating....and eating what I shouldn't be eating and I must admit today it got out of control...god damn it, I hate it when I do this to myself!! I know I am doing it, know I shouldn't but I just can't control myself!!

Anyways now I just HAVE to get myself back on track.....have 3 days before weigh in so here's hoping a bit of damage control will help!

I guess this with Shawn has affected me more than I thought it would....he seems to be constantly on my mind.

Anyways have put some pics up of our trip again....this time its Ayers Rock.

I didn't climb it, people were like ants all up it so decided to do the 9.7k walk around it, and so glad I did....its magnificent. Some of the rock formations, art work, and even a pool there are absolutely fantastic. The walk took us about 3 hours, what with all the things we stopped to look at, take pics of and just generally took our time talking and sightseeing....

I recommend the walk around to anyone that goes there.

Just a quick update

Alls going okay....

Been real busy at work and at home. Work seems to be always busy even when we are told there isn't much on....

At home decided to get into this room where I have this pc and hubby has his amateur radio. Room was looking a bit drab so on the weekend we decided to paint, recarpet and spruce it up. Very refreshing to walk into now.

Saturday night was Ted's mum's 84th birthday, we went up and had a family get together for her...was a great night. Lots of food with a very tasty birthday cake from the Cheesecake shop but I was able to eat quite good knowing I had to weigh in on the Monday. Paul and Tanya and kids and Simon and Trace and their kids were there....no Shawn. He has been very quiet, I haven't contacted him, thou he has texted me once to say thank you for helping him out previously and would I help him out again with a few $'s which he needed to provide afternoon teas for his kids on his access visits this week. I texted back I would but only because it was for the kids and I would post him a parcel. I am finding it very hard to isolate myself from him but know it has to be done.

I went to ww last week and lost 800grams, and on Monday night I lost 700grams so I have managed to get myself on track again, but still have a way to go yet.